I've nearly quit posting here 3 times over the time I have been here - but, you lose

[The Straight Story]

I have had 2 years of absolute hell in my life, mom dying, her best friend, other friends, my wife's parkinson's, my x wife dying and finding my kids after 8 years, and I could go on.

Some days I have been so distraught that little things set me off in ways they shouldn't.

Some people just can't discuss or argue without getting into personal attacks or name calling, labeling (I have been called everything from a sex offender to a -phobe, to a goofball believing in fairy tales, to...a lot of things), and just plain avoiding the content of a post and attacking on something totally off base.

To those who have left or thinking about it, let me say I have been there. I have battled sever depression for over two years now. I have had those down nights where things were so bad you wanted to just end it all, then logged on here to see someone attacking and calling me names instead of debating the content of what I said. And it can hurt. Sometimes we are just too sensitive at given moments.

On one of the worst nights I had a post moved and it upset me so bad I wanted to leave. Pretty dumb shit, but I was so depressed if my dog had pissed on the left side of the tree instead of the right side it would have set me off.

I got help for my personal issues, and have gotten better.

Here on a progressive board I would like to think that we take into consideration the fact that the way we interact with someone can have an affect on them.

And no - I am not all high and mighty on that, said some shitty things in my time too. Sometimes when one is guilty of something they see more clearly the same thing when it comes from others, so i get no pass here - except I have learned or am trying to anyway from it all.

To those who have followed me about and attacked me, without arguing or debating - you lose. I almost left. But stayed here. You might not like me because I don't agree with you on everything, but at least have enough brains to discuss the issues on an intelligent manner.

You know - we are supposed to be the progressive ones. We can poke fun at christians all day long who don't follow their own beliefs, but hell - I see the same damn thing here almost daily by people who claim to be progressive.

So before you post, think about that. Next time you want to poke fun at someone, and we all do, think about how even we on the left do the same thing to one another.

There are posters here hurting in their real lives, and sometimes they just need to hear something positive - that does not mean we cannot disagree or that we cannot argue an issue, but try and choose your words carefully.

We are, after all, supposed to be the sensitive ones - especially to each other.

Agree to disagree, and leave it at that.

And I will try to do a better job myself, lord knows I need to.

[JeffR]

1. 1st rec of many

:kick:

[ends_dont_justify]

2. Someone made a topic: what human trait should most be erased?

I stood by prejaduism and still do. Hope things go better for you, and I agree entirely. People have way too many reasons to attack people these days...wish more would see we're all allies in some way, or atleast forge alliances rather than hatreds.

[uppityperson]

37. I vote to erase fear and have a thought for you.

I finally figured out 1 day that the word "prejudice" comes from pre-judge. You judge someone based on 1 factor before knowing anything more about them. Pre-judges, hence prejudiced. I mean, I knew what it was, but 1 day the word etiology hit me over the head with a thunk.

[BlooInBloo]

53. ROFLMAO!!! Classic post/subthread.

[uppityperson]

58. and fwwwengggg>>>off topic!

Oh well. thanks for enjoying.

[BlooInBloo]

61. Just what is the etiology of "off topic", by the way?

:rofl:

[uppityperson]

62. now you're just making fun of me. which is ok.

[BlooInBloo]

63. Chalk it up to my prejaduism.

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is truly kind.

[uppityperson]

64. can't top that!

:toast:
I had a cold and cough when I laugh. You made me cough.

[evilkumquat]

52. I Vote Hypocrisy

If people were somehow physically unable to do things counter to what they say they will or should do, that would pretty much get rid of about 90% of the problems in the world.

Then we would just have to worry about those douches in the 10%... you know, Neocons.

The nice thing, of course, is that those in the 10% would never be able to get elected or be allowed any power whatsoever, due to having the ability to lie magically erased.

Evil Kumquat

[w8liftinglady]

3. ok,straight story-i'm drunk-but PLEASE don't quit posting

your posts have restored my faith in humanity...I'm not beyond begging(and don't try to guess how many times i typed this to get it right)

[The Straight Story]

5. Everytime I post, take a shot

And I will take 3 before posting :)

[Richard Steele]

6. I'm not, and I second that! recommended.

[JeffR]

7. ??? I can't type that well stone cold sober.

Guess I have to start drinking more...

[w8liftinglady]

8. straight stories's posts have been fantastic...and have inspired me

ok-i'm drunk-forgive my spelling errors..straight stories posts are the meat of every democrats beliefs

[JeffR]

9. Agree 100%

and actually, I'm a little drunk too.:toast:

[w8liftinglady]

11. thanks,jeff-we need two more recs

[JeffR]

13. Nance just gave it #5

Not that I needed to twist her arm or anything. :)

[Big Pappa]

4. Agree.

We should a least have a little mutual respect for each other.

[Decruiter]

10. Dear SS,

Thank you for everything you said.

I was here a long time ago in another life.

DU'ers really need to be kind to one another and it is much better now than in the past.

"We are, after all, supposed to be the sensitive ones - especially to each other."

There was a time when there was not so much care.

You have lots of talent and I look forward to hearing from you when you are at home in California (although I do know the area you are going into is going to be challenging).

I'm really glad to hear that you are going to have the support of family that you are going to be needing.

You are fortunate, many do not have that.

Peace
and safe journey.

[w8liftinglady]

12. allow me to kick once more before i go to sleep

[SeattleGirl]

14. I for one am glad you did not leave.

I love reading your posts. I know you've been through, and are going through, tough times. And I agree that sometimes people say things that are mean, hurtful, spiteful, etc., but there are many people here who don't do that, and who are very supportive. Glad you've stuck around, SS.

:pals:

[Up2Late]

15. Hey buddy, that's what the Ignore feature is for!

I haven't had to put anyone on Ignore for more than a year now, but there is an odd satisfaction when you see one of you nemeses trying to reply to your post, but instead it just says:

Ignore
Ignore
Ignore

...on the post list.

Sorry to hear about all the deaths you've had recently, My Best Friend died last July and it's really screwed up my year so far too.

I hope you don't have happen to you what one of my "friends" did to me. Since he died, I've been working to find "closure" by searching for and locating some of his lost e-mail on my computers and computer Back-up Tapes, well about 2 weeks ago, I found 14 months worth of email he had sent, that I had lost during a computer crash in February 2000. I was very happy and proud of my achievement, and the email helped answer a lot of questions about things I had forgotten, so I emailed 3 mutual friends and his Sister about this, but in return, what did I get?

I got a really shitty, and down right mean e-mail back from this mutual "friend" who I knew the least of the 3 that said:

"...What you wrote on your blog reflects your feelings in regards to the fact that you lost touch and no longer have that connection anymore. He is gone. He is not forgotten but there is no bringing him back. I prefer to remember the Randy I knew and I am not dwelling on the fact that some conspiracy/accident occurred. What happened happened and nothing will change it. I am concerned your focus on this is unhealthy. What is to be gained here? It's time to let it go...

I don't want the letters/emails he sent to you and I don't want the video. They will not alter my thinking in any way. They are personal and they were not intended for me to view. Thats how I feel but I am not sure about..."

Funny thing is, she was talking about something I posted 6 months ago when I was still very confused and upset, and I didn't even tell her anything about what she labeled a "conspiracy/accident" either.

It's been almost 2 weeks, and I'm now about calm enough to write her back and tel her what I thought of her nasty little note.

Anyway, Stick around. Take a break when you need to, but come back whenever you need to vent/chat, we'll be here.:grouphug:

[nadinbrzezinski]

16. Another recomendation

And on a personal note I too almost left this place...

And as to hurting people... yep been there, done that on a whole different board, I no longer post there, or participate in that community

[renate]

17. thank you for writing this

I don't have anything to add to what you said so well, except that I'm so glad you're feeling better now. That's a tough road you've been on. :hug:

[EFerrari]

18. I was thinking tonight that we should have a weekly reconciliation thread.

You know, "This is a thread for people to get over stuff, including themselves."

lol

:toast:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

40. That's Actually A Great Idea To Be Honest With Ya. Go For It!

[ProudDad]

54. Great Idea

I'll start...

I don't really hate anyone -- especially those with whom I deeply disagree.

It's real easy to type up an insult and hit send. I know, I've done it too many times myself. In fact, I was tempted to do it in response to the OP. But... I'm not gonna'

Nearly everyone on this board could agree we want a better world. We want a world that's safe and fair and just. We want our kids to have it better than we did -- not necessarily in material terms 'cause that ain't gonna happen -- but a spiritually better, kinder place.

We tend to agree that the repuke, right-wing, I got mine now screw you world is the entirely wrong direction.

So we fiddle with the deck chairs, hoping we can get the details right when the ship is still heading at flank speed toward the iceberg.

That's frustrating.

So we can't "take out" a real freeper and we occasionally succumb to the temptation and take out each other.

The good news is that if we do it right we can develop some callouses for the tough slog ahead, 'cause folks, we ain't gonna see the promised land. We ain't gonna get there. Our kids probably ain't gonna get there and their kids probably ain't gonna get there.

But get there we must or the human race won't survive...not the way it's going...


Along the way though, try to have a nice day :hi:

[EFerrari]

56. Class Warrior and others used to put up DU Drama Queen threads

that were hilarious.

But I was thinking a "reconciliation thread" might work for people who needed a more obviously supportive nudge.

lol

:)

[w4rma]

19. I just want to say that I enjoy your posts, The Straight Story. I'm really glad you're here. (nt)

[Dinger]

20. I Am So Glad You Stayed

Thank you for your thought-provoking post. I am another one here who has had some pretty major shit happen in my life the last few years. This place is theraputic for me, and I mean that, but when things are really bad, I talk to my loved ones, and as a Christian, I have always found great comfort in the Bible. Anyway, I hope to see more of you Straight Story. I always look forward to your posts.:)

[Hekate]

21. Hey you

:hug:

Glad you're still hanging around.

Hekate

[Swamp Rat]

22. great post

:kick:

[IChing]

23. Whatever...............LOL

glad you are surviving and hopefully still poking fun at an old fool like me

I don't know if you "affect" me but you might "effect "me sometimes in your writings.

Glad you are hanging tough and changing your realities and perceptions to the witnesses of your realties.

You are a great asset to this community and the real world.

Never doubted that .

Peace.


ON edit
It was a compliment.........otherwise
I wouldn't comment.

You are a great asset to the earth.

[Raine]

24. I've seen the flack that's

been directed at you and I admire you for being strong enough to have not let it drive you from the board. I'm glad that you're staying, I enjoy your posts. :thumbsup:

[hyphenate]

25. Been there, done that

Had one asshole on another board who constantly harassed me when I was at a very low point in my life, and who helped make my decision to leave that board only more clear.

I know it's tough when depression is in the way--I, too, have been clinically depressed now for going on nearly 4 years, and life is hardly worth living it some days. Sleeping all day helps take the edge off once in awhile, but it's difficult to "live" if you're sleeping all the time. I lost one of my best friends to death in 2003, my other best friend's mom in late 2004, and my other best friend to the fundie cult just last year. And in addition, 4 of my furkits, 2 to them escaping and getting permanently lost, and two to death, so I can't say things have been very pleasant at all.

The part you said about people needing to be a bit more sensitive with how they word things....there are so many people who become more aggressive online than they are in real life, and there is really no way on an internet board to screen or select those with whom one discusses things. I've found that out the hard way. At DU, if there is an asshole out there who doesn't understand empathy or who can't keep his or her foot out of their mouth every time they open it, we can put them on ignore. That can be a handy tool for those who don't "get it" without a sledge hammer to their skulls. If someone still doesn't get it, it's best to stop ourselves from responding to jibes they might post or try to stir up the shit. Let's face it--people will usually show their RL persona online, and progressive thinking or not, some people are still assholes. :)

And while it's oft repeated, the notion could also be that some people feel liberated when they're online, and will be bolder and more aggressive because they can't been so easily identified. Their online identity can end up being a true jerk because their "play acting" allows them the freedom to be nastier and more outspoken.

When hurtful comments are made, the best course of action is to walk away. When you do, you are staying in control, and not letting your anger or other emotions cloud your thinking and forcing you into a situation which you'd rather avoid in the first place. What you could do is simply post a friendly little "smiley" and leave it at that--it will drive some people nuts, and that's a good thing!!

I know that while time hasn't yet "healed all wounds," it helps the stark memories fade just enough to live with them a little easier. I recently read a quote: " A man stays alive as long as he is remembered. He is killed only by forgetfulness." (Richard Basehart as Lieutenant Rennick in Decision Before Dawn) This says a lot--as long as we still hold the memory clear of a loved one, they aren't ever really dead--the good things we remember will keep them alive to us, and all transgressions are forgotten and forgiven as the bad memories fade forever. Just keep that in mind.

[noamnety]

66. A lot of times there are two perspectives

I see people here a lot who refer to groups of people in derogatory terms. And they know when they are doing it that someone will be offended, but they either don't care, or take pride in the fact that they are above being offended by slurs, and actively look down on those who are offended. (Oversensitive is the common description)

Sometimes I call them out on that. Sometimes people get mad at me because I do it. I've gotten called some names over that, and some people probably think I'm harsh. They have a hard time seeing that it was their own use of derogatory words that was offensive.

I disagree that the best course of action is to walk away when there is sexism or racism. Walking away condones it, it quietly allows it to continue.

If the OP has been called a -phobe, that's a clue that they've said something that was offensive to another person, or an entire class of people. If someone calls you out for that, I'm not sure it's right to assume you were in the right because you "politely" were derogatory about an entire class of people, whether intentionally or not, and I'm not sure it's right to say "They were rude because they were too blunt."

I don't know what that post was about, so I'm speaking in very generic abstract terms, but if you are offended that someone else was offended by your words, maybe it's not all on the other person, you know?

[OneBlueSky]

26. 63.74% of all all personal attack and other abusive posts on DU are by trolls . . .

looking to stir up the shit pot . . . it's a proven scientific fact . . .

yes, it is . . .

no, really . . .

[DemBones DemBones]

31. If only that were true. I've considered that, of course,

but if they're trolls, there sure are a lot of them.

I think it's more like something I read in a novel where two guys are talking and one says he's decided that 10% of people are saints, 10% are shitheada, and the other 80% are just trying to get by.

I think people in the 80% group sometimes achieve saintly moments, and sometimes turn into shitheads for a bit, but overall I agree with the concept. Shitheads, of course, can also climb up into the 80% and even on into the sainthood 10% sometimes, and saints can fall. Seems like everyone should try to stay in the 80% as much as possible.

[Vidar]

27. K&R.

[Mnemosyne]

28. SS,

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

29. We all have our trials... We all have our heartbreak...

We all have suffered the loss of DUers who became more than posters; they were friends.

People here have helped me deal with my father's cancer, my own illness (the outpouring of thoughts,prayers and vibes from DUers blew me away) and subsequent battle to just stay alive.

What I'm saying, TSS, is look beyond yourself. You're asking others to be progressive while posting *witty* remarks about a Snickers ad that deeply hurt many of your fellow posters. They were open about it and yet the jokes continued. If you really believe what you have done a wonderful job of writing here perhaps you could start there.

I do not look for validation from DU, I've got it from within.

Thank you.

[sniffa]

33. ...

:loveya:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

35. Seconded.

:loveya:

[uppityperson]

38. Thirded.

Be decent, everyone.

[NMMNG]

42. rAmen

:thumbsup:

[EFerrari]

48. I'll take it where ever I can get it.

lol

:hi:

[bicentennial_baby]

51. You said it best, as always...

:applause:

[The Straight Story]

80. Still stuck back in January eh?

I disagreed on whether or not something should be viewed as offensive or not. To me it was not, to my gay friends it was not. To you and other folk it was. So if I disagree about whether something is offensive or not I am being insensitive?

Because I did not tow the line I am followed about and questioned about whether I am a sex offender, asked why I post anything that relates to gay rights (as I was the night I posted I this on another thread), and so on.

I am about as pro-gay as I can be, but because I find one ad during a superbowl non-offensive I am followed about and ridiculed.

I made it a point, after that whole mess went down, to call my gay friends and relatives to ask them about it. And I was willing to come on here and apologize if I was wrong. Not a one of them found it offensive, all found it funny, and they all saw it as making fun of the homophobes (and saw it as a brilliant way to have two men kissing on TV).

So I agreed with them - but am still seen as 'bad' on it all. I even made a call to my best friend and told him about the whole mess here and he laughed his ass off "what, you are seen as a homophobe??". He read through the threads and still does not see what the big deal is.

His reaction to the commercial - he laughed his ass off. Guess he is self-loathing or something. My brother in law saw it the same way - he lives in San Fran and is as liberal as people get, but he is obviously not a good person because he did not see things the same way.

From now on I will get the blessing of others before posting my thoughts on something, lest I be followed from thread to thread by the posse and attacked because I did not follow lockstep.

[DemBones DemBones]

30. Thanks for posting this.

Bob Dylan said it best: "Hate nothing at all except hatred."

[mmonk]

32. We've all had those days

and we've all set someone off. The important thing to keep in our mind is our commonality. We'll make it all work out in the end.

[ms liberty]

34. I for one am so very glad you've stayed...

I've been really discouraged myself at times by those who prefer to spread negativity and divisiveness, and I've taken time off from the DU because I felt like I'd have a stroke if I read one more post filled with attacks and arguments. Sometimes I just don't comment, I just read and move on. Sometimes they've bothered me, and so I've taken a break. After taking time off, I return refreshed and better able to handle it. And when something big and important happens, it seems that those posters recede into the background somewhat, which also helps.

But I am very glad you've stayed. You're one of those members whose posts I always read, even if I don't always comment. You've had issues in your life that have reflected so many of us here in the US, of every political stripe and set of beliefs. I learn from you, and there have been many nights I've gone to bed after sending you (and some others too) positive vibes and prayers of healing and hope. You have made DU a better place, and I appreciate you, I respect you, I honor you and value your contribution. If you had left, DU would be a lesser place for your loss.

I don't mean to get all gooey and smarmy-sweet on you, but if the truth causes a sugar overload, so be it!

[ejbr]

36. I'm glad you stayed

Every person should be exposed to opposing views, even those that support the likes of Bush, Cheney, Rove, Gonzales or that f&ckwad Lieberman. We can become so emotional about someone or something that we close our minds to logical alternative thinking. Thanks for the reminder.
:toast:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

39. Preach On Brother! You're Absolutely Right. And You're Far More Valuable Here Than They'd Ever Be,

so we all win by your staying!

If this community didn't have dissent, disagreement, challenges to false premise and those willing to stand at times on an unpopular side of an issue, this site would get boring realllllllly quick and would be a shell of its current greatness.

But it is a huge detriment to this community and its effectiveness that there are those that refuse to engage in civil debate in a mature or intellectual manner, but instead can only resort to half-witted personal attacks and grade school labeling. Nothing is ever accomplished by such tactics and all it can ever do is bring this community down. Lord knows all of us may have our moments using such tactics, but there are some who are only capable of such.

You are right in saying that there should be more willingness to agree to disagree. Disagreement on issues, even passionate disagreement, is a necessity here and there is honor in stepping in to such debate. But there is no honor in replying with attack on a personal level with childish undeserved labels as opposed to debating context and premise. No honor; just shame, weakness and cowardice.

So I'm sorry some of those that engage in such shame have at times brought you down. You don't deserve it and no one else does either. But I'm thankful for your having stayed as I always find your voice to be a refreshing one. Just remember best you can to never let the keyboard bullies bring you down. You are stronger than they and far more valuable to this community.

So you are right. They lose. You won. The rest of us won. Rock on brother. K&R

:toast:

[Irishonly]

41. I am glad you stayed

I am more of a reader than a writer and it does trouble me when people snipe at each other. I wanted to thank you for all of your posts. You have taught me a great deal. Best of luck in your battle with depression. Your life has certainly been a roller coaster. Hoping it will soon stop.

[mzmolly]

43. "The only think liberals are tolerant of is their own intellectual arrogance."

This is a quote from Mudcat Saunders, a democratic strategist. Frankly I agree much of the time. Best wishes dealing with your depression. I find that walking does wonders.

Take care SS. :hug:

[UTUSN]

44. K&R for the thread & the overwhelming responses in support. n/t

[Spiffarino]

45. It's easy to forget in an anonymous, electronic forum...

Every poster is a human being* and nobody here is unaffected by the fact. In an anonymous electronic forum it's easy to forget that there may be a vulnerable person on the receiving end of an insult. Maybe as we mature in our use of this anonymous form of communication things will change for the better.

A little OT, but in fact, I think of DU itself as a living organism. There's Skinner, elad, and EarlG at the head. The writing team are the hands. Posters in our varied roles make up various parts of the body, and the moderators are the guts. Trolls and right wing lackeys are the waste material that the mods flush out, leaving the DU organism clean and healthy.


* OK, maybe not Grovelbot

[Cabcere]

46. Hugs, good vibes, and a recommendation for this excellent post

:hug: I'm relatively new here, but I generally enjoy your posts and find them insightful and relevant, so I am very glad you decided to stay. :hug: And I, too, will do my best to consider how my words and actions might affect others - not just here, but in real life as well. It seems like such a simple thing, but I think sometimes we all need to be reminded of it...and so I thank you for doing that. :hi: Peace.

[LSK]

47. everyone needs to learn certain guidelines

1. Dont take the bait

2. It is ok not to have the last word

3. Some topics you know are going to be big flamewars without even clicking on them

4. Go to the lounge and post silly stuff and cool off from time to time

5. Read the greatest threads 1st instead of going right to GD

More people need to try these practices.

I would hope that people can find a way to stay here because there are some really good posts and great information here buried amidst the flamewars.

[BoneDaddy]

49. You have started off your post

with a list of your wounds you have suffered. I question why you did that? Why place yourself in a position where you are now unassailable and anyone questioning you on it will come across as unkind, brutal or mean spirited?

This is a message board for political discussion. Politics by it's very nature are devisive. We have democrats, progressives and liberals from many different backgrounds with many different ideas as well as independents, republicans and trolls. Sometimes it gets ugly in here. That should be expected.

It sounds like what you may be looking for is a support group that can attend to your wounds and help you get back on your feet again. This is hardly the place for it. Sure people form connections at DU and develop personal, meaningful relationships with people, but I would guess that most come for information, to debate, to "shout their barbaric yalp from the rooftops of the world", to argue, to figure out what they actually believe, to be militant, to vent etc...

If you struggle with severe depression, why put yourself in a position to feel worse? Walk away from this board for a bit, find something to enjoy in life and get out of your head. This place will not make you feel better.

I have read countless posts by people who are so ready to jump off the bridge, so to speak, over the state of the world. It is what it is. You do what you can, but stop trying to carry this world on your shoulders, you don't have to. Underlying that "martyrdom" is a real sense of superiority as if you actually have that kind of power. Give it up. If you make yourself sick over it, you are useless to the movement.

The "sensitive" ones, I find, are hardly sensitive to those who do not subscribe to their belief system. We have bought into this nonsense that being "sensitive" is better than being "tough". Hell, in life you have to grow a thick skin if you are going to survive. Sometimes there is a time to be sensitive and at other times don't. Both are valuable.

Carolyn Myss has alot to say on this topic. Look her up.

[The Straight Story]

50. I posted this thread

because I have seen several people over the last week talk about leaving.

So the point was to show that real people with real problems post here, and it doesn't hurt us to think about that before being a dick to someone.

[uppityperson]

59. Thank you for that. Many people have real problems, here and in the world.

It is always good to remind ourselves and others that many of us are having hard times and to be decent humane people.

[BoneDaddy]

79. No doubt

and I think, in a perfect world, you are right. All I am saying is that I think it is an unrealistic expectation of 100,000 plus to be that way and rather than attempt to change that (waste of time) it might be easier to change one's expectations and seek elsewhere for what they need.

[ProudDad]

55. As an ex-clinically depressed person

I'd like to urge you to hang in there. Do whatever it takes to beat the depression -- drugs, talk -- whatever.

In my case it also included quitting drinking -- dosing depression with a depressant is kinda' lame. (www.unhooked.com for some pointers)

Being EX-clinically depressed is Soooooooooooooooo much better than BEING clinically depressed!!! But it takes time...

[Straight Shooter]

57. I try to remember to respond to everyone just like I would if we were face-to-face.

I also try to remember that my words may come back and bite me in the butt someday.

It's like when we're driving a car, we have the choice to be rude when we think either someone deserves it or we can get away with it, or we can "pretend" it's a friend who made a mistake and just let it go. Take the high road, so to speak.

At least your sense of humor remains intact, "if my dog had pissed on the left side of the tree instead of the right side it would have set me off." Laughter is more than the best medicine, it's also the best weapon against depression, especially when we can see humor in our situation, no matter how far down into the well we have to dip to find the humor.

I don't agree with BoneDaddy's sentiments, but I can understand where BD's rationale lies. However, I think it's great that BD mentioned Carolyn Myss. http://www.myss.com FWIW, I just checked her website and her Daily Message for today is, "Any form of assistance you offer is an act of healing." (If you're not familiar with Carolyn Myss, she is known as a phenomenal healer.)

Also check out her Community forum, http://www.myss.com/community.asp

Keep on truckin', Straight Story.

:hi:

[treestar]

60. You are a goofball

just kidding

Seriously, I understand the depression thing.

It takes guts to make main posts because there are always some idiots who have to be unkind about it rather than just skip it if they don't want to hear about the subject.

Keep the faith.

:hi:

[Voltaire99]

65. Politics is not therapy.

There are posters here hurting in their real lives, and sometimes they just need to hear something positive - that does not mean we cannot disagree or that we cannot argue an issue, but try and choose your words carefully.

I understand and sympathize, but you're looking for love in all the wrong places.

Politics is adversarial, self-interested and power-based--at least when it's honest. There are plenty of ways to perfume, to sweeten that reality. But they're chimerical and, frankly, manipulative.

Seeking to soften political debate so that it can more resemble a support group is bound to fail: that shortchanges the person who needs support, and should be looking for it in a place where it is likelier to exist. And it unfairly burdens people who want to address the issues.

Do people have to be unkind? No, but they don't have to be nice about politics, either.

[Time for change]

67. Wise thoughts to live by

Glad you're feeling better.

[Madspirit]

68. k&r n/t

[liberal hypnotist]

69. You make a good point.

I think a lot of people feel powerless in their day to day life and take it out by posting angry and insensitive remarks. But, with free speech comes the right for the 'angry ones" to post and say what they do.

You've had a lot of difficult challenges. My thoughts are with you.

[Doc Martin]

70. Mr. Bush is a person

It is VERY hard for me to restrain myself from screaming nasty names for George Bush. But, I am trying not to...

As a progressive, as a follower of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (sad, I don't call myself a Christian), and as one whose work has dialogue at its core, it is not a option for me to trash a person.

I oppose the beliefs, values, and actions of George Bush. I believe that I have a moral obligation to take action to oppose him and thwart his plans, to tell the world that he does not speak or act for me. As the Irish singer Luka says: "I am not at war with anyone."

How can we who advocate for peace attack other people?

If I nurture hatred in my own heart, am I not adding to the hatred in the world?

Given the overwhelming evidence of Mr. Bush's failure, in virtually every domain, why would we shift the focus to personal attack? Doesn't this invite a reactive, defensive response from one time supporters who need to see the bloody, cold, hostile-to-life facts?

The other night someone disagreed with me on something that is core to who I am. I can handle disagreement, albeit sometimes not so graciously, but being mocked hurts. I am working hard to respond to this other person based on my values. It is hard for me to find a way to do that.

One of the things I find most maddening about my political opponents, especially those of Christian fundamentalist flavors, is that their espoused values are not their values-in-use. And the mainstream media continues to describe these folks based on their espoused beliefs. For example, Mr. Bush said that Jesus was his favorite philosopher. Can anyone show me action, any action, that is consistent with the core teachings of his favorite philosopher? Were I to ask Mr Bush only one question, Bush the Christian not Bush the president, I would ask: which of the teachings of Jesus has had the greatest influence on how you live your life? I am NOT advocating for the teachings of any religion as having any weight to support our collective actions as a country. It is the dissonance that is troubling. Mr. Bush's actions provide no evidence to support his claims. Mr Bush also states that he is protecting the American way of life from those who "hate our freedoms." Yet his actions undermine core aspects of the Bill of Rights and the Constitution and few point to this gap. Again, why isn't this dissonance upsetting?

I struggle to live my values. Your post was timely and encouraging. Thank you!

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

71. Great Post And Much Belated Welcome To DU!

:toast:

[Doc Martin]

76. Thanks!

[file83]

72. Well put TSS!!

There have been moments here at the DU when someone says something nice to me that, to them, may seem like no big deal, but to me, it made my day.

There are other times when I get such horrible responses I wonder why I even bother.

However, the lesson learned for me is that you must take the good with the bad. That's life.

Sometimes the orange juice is sweet and perfect, other times it's sour, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop drinking orange juice. You know what I mean?

:hi:

[Tigress DEM]

73. Thanks for sticking around and opening up this dialogue.

I understand how you feel about coming here hoping for some enlightenment or at least intelligent discussion and getting a shit storm instead, but when it bugs me I just take a break and come back when my urge to know has grown greater than my need to protect myself from attacks.

Like you, usually I give as good as I get, and have the chagrin to prove it.

One thing I try to remember is that posting semi-anonymous on a board makes everyone an honorary extrovert - as in speak first ask questions later or I figure out what I'm thinking after three people point out the obvious. Being an extrovert in real life I've learned my own tough lessons about learning to have care before I open up my sarcasm hole. Still. Slips are inevitable by all of us here since we're constantly in this state of "mad as hell and ain't gonna take it anymore".

Being here on DU will toughen you up like no place else. It's the hurt that happens when you think you are someplace safe and let down your gaurd to be open and vunerable that really stings.

So sorry about all the huge loses you have gone through. WOW. As tough as we think we are and as bad as our own life seems it's always encouraging to see someone survive like you have. I thought I had a bad year, but I see I've not even come close.

Take care of yourself. Like they tell you on the airplane, "You must put on your own oxygen mask first before helping someone else."

:pals:

[Skittles]

74. I would kick your ass if you left

I love reading your stuff and I admire you a great deal; yes INDEED!!! :hi:

[LittleClarkie]

75. Sadly, in some ways, we are just like any other messageboard

the same kind of bullshit can happen here as anywhere.

A wise man once told me to never let anyone on the internet have that kind of power over me that they can upset me. I am only sometimes successful in following that.

There have been times when I've just quietly left for a while, indulging other interests (I'm going bonkers on a sci fi board at the moment) but I always wander back, esp. when my still favorite Senator is up to something.

Don't let the turkeys get you down. Ever.

[The Straight Story]

77. Wise words my friend

and thank you for them.

[jesus_of_suburbia]

78. I agree with you totally! Thanks for posting this.

And furthermore I love reading your posts.