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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:14 PM
Original message
Political Facts of Life..Get this email yet? It's Great!
A forwarded email from my wonderful Niece, Ina. Love that girl :loveya:
http://www.representinc.com /





* If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "token hire."
* If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."

* Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America .
* White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."

* If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential "American story."

* Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're "unpatriotic."
* Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."

* If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're "reckless."
* A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."

* If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law
professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.

* If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.

* If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an "arrogant celebrity."
* If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing the base."

* If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are "presumptuous."
* If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a "shoot from the hip" maverick.

* If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are "an elitist-out of touch" with the real America .
* if you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis , with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.

* If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an "empty suit."
* If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an "experienced executive."

* If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are "extremist."
* If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly principled."

* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.
* If you have been married to the same woman with whom you've been wed to for 19 years and raising 2 beautiful daughters with, you're "risky."

* If you're a black single mother of 4 who waits for 22 hours after her water breaks to seek medical attention, you're an irresponsible parent, endangering the life of your unborn child.
* But if you're a white married mother who waits 22 hours, you're spunky.

* If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you "First dog."
* If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you "beautiful" and "courageous."

* If you kill an endangered species, you're an excellent hunter.
* If you have an abortion, you're a murderer (forget about if it happened while being raped.)

* If you teach abstinence only in sex education, you get teen parents.
* If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.

* If you're a Republican senator who solicits gay sex in an airport bathroom, you get to return to your job in the Senate and are encouraged to run for re-election.
* If you're a Democratic Senator who is out of public office and have an affair, your political career is over and your wife who has terminal cancer is to blame.
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Iris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:17 PM
Response to Original message
1. These are DEAD on.
I especially like the comparisons between pregnant black women and pregnant white women.

Thanks for posting.
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tblue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:17 PM
Response to Original message
2. Kick! Give your niece a hug from me!
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mzmolly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:23 PM
Response to Original message
3. Excellent!
:toast:
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Overseas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:25 PM
Response to Original message
4. K&R !! /nt
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kiteinthewind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:27 PM
Response to Original message
5. kick nt
:kick:
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Hissyspit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:29 PM
Response to Original message
6. I've sent it off to my email list already. This may be where it originated:
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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:32 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Where ever it came from
I'm glad it found it's way to me to here.
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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 04:37 PM
Response to Original message
8. Y'all know what to do with this..
Email it to everyone you know :thumbsup:

Gotta disappear for a bit so let's keep this :kick: for the evening crew :hi:
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hvn_nbr_2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 05:37 PM
Response to Original message
9. "Presumptuous"? Didn't they forget "uppity"? nt
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alstephenson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 05:39 PM
Response to Original message
10. k & r
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corkhead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 05:42 PM
Response to Original message
11. best post of the day. Bookmarked for future use
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FLAprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 05:44 PM
Response to Original message
12. Wonderful post and so true!
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ailsagirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
13. kick
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RobertSeattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 05:53 PM
Response to Original message
14. Consider this STOLEN!
Excellent!
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eshfemme Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 05:55 PM
Response to Original message
15. Sooo good!
:kick:
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Sherman A1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 06:37 PM
Response to Original message
16. Priceless!!!
Thank You So much for this... Your Niece is Wonderful for forwarding this to you and you for passing it on to all of us!


:yourock: :yourock: :yourock: :yourock: :applause: :applause: :applause: :applause:
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chill_wind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 06:46 PM
Response to Original message
17. A keeper!
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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 07:51 PM
Response to Original message
18. To The Top
:dem:
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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 08:54 PM
Response to Original message
19. Kick
:-)
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Lifelong Protester Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 10:57 PM
Response to Original message
20. Thanks for this!!
Now sent coast to coast...
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MrMickeysMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Sep-09-08 11:06 PM
Response to Original message
21. Tell Ina THANKS... now I have something to send as a "reply all" the next time...
... I get those ridiculous e-mails that are sent by those right wing knuckle draggers. It's perfect!
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WheelWalker Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 12:26 AM
Response to Original message
22. Your niece is a "keeper".
:kick:
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 12:28 AM
Response to Original message
23. ....
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THale2 Donating Member (100 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 02:02 AM
Response to Original message
24. Hey guys I added one if you think of some add them yourselves
* If you are a Democrat your patriotism is constantly challenged
* If you are a Republican, you can be affiliated with a secessionist group that wants to break away from the union and still be viewed as the truer American

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underseasurveyor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 02:18 AM
Response to Reply #24
25. In the infamous word of Wayne
EEExcellent :headbang:
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democrank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 05:53 AM
Response to Original message
26. So true
GOBAMA!
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riona Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 06:33 AM
Response to Original message
27. The fine form of mind manipulation
They are incapable of running a country, but excellent at sheep herding.
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NikolaC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 07:35 AM
Response to Original message
28. Excellent!
Consider this sent to my family and friends first thing this morning :). :kick:
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Historic NY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 07:49 AM
Response to Original message
29. that ought to drive r wingers nuts.
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Liberalatus Donating Member (158 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 08:07 AM
Original message
All very excellent!!!
But I would alter the line:

If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly principled."

I would highlight and contrast some other religious extremism that she has. Most Christians don't dinstinguish the difference between "Creationism", and all its particular beliefs, and just the belief that God created the Earth and Heavens. We don't want to alienate any Christians, and that might stick out like a sore thumb to them. Just a thought. Otherwise, all VERY GOOD!!!
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nxylas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 08:07 AM
Response to Original message
30. Wonderful
Though in regard to the last one, has anyone ever said that Elizabeth Edwards is to blame for her husband's adultery? If they have, that's pretty sick.
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AlbertCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 08:28 AM
Response to Original message
31. The only thing I'd change is....
....* If you kill an endangered species shooting from a helicopter!, you're an excellent hunter.
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MadinMo Donating Member (519 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 08:36 AM
Response to Original message
32. Love it! And I'm sharing it.
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DesertRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 09:03 AM
Response to Original message
33. Spot on. k&r
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Phred42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 09:07 AM
Response to Original message
34. Should Be Titled: Republican translation table
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Sweet Freedom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 09:07 AM
Response to Original message
35. That's great, and definitely bookmarked, but it loses its order
...it goes from dem to repub and then at the end, it switches and puts the repub points first.

I've switched them and recopied it all here:

* If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "token hire."
* If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."

* Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America .
* White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."

* If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic."
* Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential "American story."

* Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're "unpatriotic."
* Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."

* If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're "reckless."
* A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."

* If you spend 3 years as a community organizer growing your organization from a staff of 1 to 13 and your budget from $70,000 to $400,000, then become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new African Amerian voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, then spend nearly 8 more years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, becoming chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, then spend nearly 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of nearly 13 million people, sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you are woefully inexperienced.

* If you spend 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, then spend 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, then you've got the most executive experience of anyone on either ticket, are the Commander in Chief of the Alaska military and are well qualified to lead the nation should you be called upon to do so because your state is the closest state to Russia.

* If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an "arrogant celebrity."
* If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing the base."

* If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are "presumptuous."
* If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a "shoot-from-the-hip" maverick.

* If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are "an elitist--out of touch" with the real America .
* if you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis , with multiple disciplinary infractions, you are a hero.

* If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an "empty suit."
* If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an "experienced executive."

* If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are "extremist."
* If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly principled."

* If you have been married to the same woman with whom you've been wed to for 19 years and raising 2 beautiful daughters with, you're "risky."
* If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

* If you're a black single mother of 4 who waits for 22 hours after her water breaks to seek medical attention, you're an irresponsible parent, endangering the life of your unborn child.
* But if you're a white married mother who waits 22 hours, you're spunky.

* If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you "First dog."
* If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you "beautiful" and "courageous."

* If you have an abortion, you're a murderer (forget about if it happened while being raped.)
* If you kill an endangered species, you're an excellent hunter.

* If you teach responsible age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
* If you teach abstinence only in sex education, you get teen parents.

* If you're a Democratic Senator who is out of public office and have an affair, your political career is over and your wife who has terminal cancer is to blame.
* If you're a Republican senator who solicits gay sex in an airport bathroom, you get to return to your job in the Senate and are encouraged to run for re-election.
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Revlon10 Donating Member (139 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 09:34 AM
Response to Original message
36. Excellent!
Now lets help the sheepeople wake up
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Rainbowreflect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 09:54 AM
Response to Original message
37. Too true!
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NightHawk63 Donating Member (447 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 10:03 AM
Response to Original message
38. K'd and HIGHLY R'd n/t
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Mrs. Overall Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 10:11 AM
Response to Original message
39. Excellent! K&R
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Plucketeer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 10:41 AM
Response to Original message
40. Thanks to Ina!
I've sent it to those I know.
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amb123 Donating Member (764 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 10:47 AM
Response to Original message
41. Here's two more.
Edited on Wed Sep-10-08 10:48 AM by amb123
* If you're black and you speak out, you're "Uppity".
* If you're white and you speak out, you're a "Concerned American".

* If you're Republican, you are an "All-American Patriot".
* If you're Democrat, you are "Satan-Worshiping, America-Hating, Terrorist-Loving, Traitorous Liberal Scum!"

F U GOP! DEMOCRATS ARE AMERICANS TOO!
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maple25 Donating Member (27 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 10:50 AM
Response to Original message
42. K&R!
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happygoluckytoyou Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 12:02 PM
Response to Original message
43. if you have sex with it, and you still have your balls.....IT WAS A PITBULL, NOT A SOCCER MOM
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baconbits5 Donating Member (7 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 12:11 PM
Response to Original message
44. LoL mooseburgers.
haha
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debunkthelies Donating Member (290 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
45. So Ture
It hurts. :kick: :headbang:
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Sequoia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 12:53 PM
Response to Original message
46. This delivery of the message reminds me of George Carlin's act.
Thanks. I'm forwarding.
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williesgirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 12:56 PM
Response to Original message
47. You should send this to Keith and Rachel, have them split up in their shows. rec'd
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NewJeffCT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 12:59 PM
Response to Original message
48. Fantastic - with I could recommend a post twice
or give it 4 stars or something.
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Martin Eden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 01:15 PM
Response to Original message
49. Kick n/t
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nam78_two Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 01:17 PM
Response to Original message
50. K&R.nt
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 01:18 PM
Response to Original message
51. *copy* *paste* *send*
Edited on Wed Sep-10-08 01:36 PM by Oregonian
:thumbsup:
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pleah Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 01:19 PM
Response to Original message
52. K&R Bookmarked and I'm sending it to everyone I know! n/t
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debbierlus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 01:22 PM
Response to Original message
53. Oh, Bravo! Well Written and Beautiful!

I love it!

Made my day!
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hisownpetard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 01:25 PM
Response to Original message
54. Perfect! Sending it all over the place... K&R.
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scheming daemons Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
55. Send to EVERYONE you know... this has to go viral
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 03:18 PM
Response to Original message
56. Loves it
:-0
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glitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 03:23 PM
Response to Original message
57. They blamed Elizabeth?
ASSHOLES
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loyalsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
58. Careful
I would not use the word "disfigured. That language will alienate many many voters. There are 53 million people with disabilities who just want to be treated with dignity.
Being referred to as "disfigured" or any other term that just means weird or abnormal or freak is pretty much not.
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DesertRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 05:07 PM
Response to Reply #58
64. I agree. I changed it before I sent it out
tO: "left your wife and children then married the heiress..."
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loyalsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 05:24 PM
Response to Reply #64
65. Good move
It's just basic repect.
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liberal N proud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 03:32 PM
Response to Original message
59. Great stuff
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ann_american2004 Donating Member (480 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
60. K & R
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mcollier Donating Member (887 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 04:11 PM
Response to Reply #60
61. Chris Matthews Blasting
The McCain Campaign over Lipstick on a Pig remark....
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slypknot Donating Member (21 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 04:16 PM
Response to Original message
62. Beautiful!
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DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
63. Just sent it to my email list, including Repuke idiots who send me CRAP
Thank you for posting!!
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DesertRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-10-08 10:42 PM
Response to Original message
66. Kick for more views
:kick:
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BEZERKO Donating Member (564 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-08 04:26 AM
Response to Original message
67. Fuckin' A Bubba!
This is what happens, when the opposition has all those think tanks with studios down the hall where they can get booked as an "expert" on whatever subject they chose, book an appearance on local and national news outlets and create a "groundswell."
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drstmphd Donating Member (1 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-11-08 07:25 AM
Response to Original message
68. Suggested change--Lapel Pin
This is very nicely done. The irony of this grows with each new item. But guess what: the majority of foolish Republicans against whom this is directed will be unable to see and understand the humor and satire.

All-in-all, it does an excellent job of reflecting the differences between the parties and their supporters.

The NYTimes is beginning to bring out some stories that are skeptical of Palin, but, as we learned from the Swift Boaters and the creationists, facts dont matter much to many Americans.

Suggested small edit:

If you are a Democrat and you dont wear a specific lapel pin one time, your patriotism is constantly challenged
If you are a Republican, you can be affiliated with a secessionist group that wants to break away from the union and still be viewed as the truer American


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