I'm more patriotic than you.

[Cyrano]

I’ve had my fingernails and toenails pulled and replaced with little plastic American flags.

I’ve got 50 stars lasered onto the upper left side of my butt, with stripes covering all else.

American flags on sticks are implanted in my ears. You should see me on a windy day.

My contact lenses are red, white and blue. It’s a USA world out there.

Large flag pins are welded to my chest where my lapels would be when I’m dressed.

A small kudzu statue of Bush holding a flag is implanted on top of my head.

An American flag tattoo covers my privates. Reveille makes me happy. Taps doesn’t.


If we ever get a 51st state, I am so, so screwed.

[Rex]

1. Nu uh.

[cloudbase]

2. No, you're not.

I'VE had the president issue a signing statement saying that I'm patrioticer than you. So there!

[Mountainman]

3. I had to check your profile to get a mental of your tattooed privates.

Ouch!

[Cyrano]

5. The Museum of Modern Art in NY is considering displaying me in April.

[democrank]

4. I`m more patriotic than you.

Whenever I make meatloaf, I divide the top into 50 little sections and hand-color each one with a state motto. Plus, I have a

LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT bumper sticker

[Redstone]

6. Well, I'm so patriotic, I even PISS red, white, and blue. No, you can't watch.

Redstone

[razors edge]

9. Sounds like the clap,

better get that looked at.

:)

[Cyrano]

10. Penicillin can cure just so much. Super patriotism is a disease that

will probably outlast us all and could well be the fall of humanity. It's tribalism run amok.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

7. Unless the flag wraps all the way around, you are NO patriot!

:rofl:

[Cyrano]

8. Too gauche. However, I do have a red, white and blue athletic support.

On edit: I can't fall asleep without my red, white and blue strobe lights flashing.

[Truth2Tell]

11. But are you more patriotic than these guys?

I think not.

[Cyrano]

13. I don't know. The last doctor who told me to turn my head and cough

saluted me.

[timtom]

12. That's pretty good.

I joined the Marine Corps, went to Vietnam, and lost my virginity for my country.

[Cyrano]

14. Wonderful. May the authors of the "Karma Sutra" watch over you.

On edit: My answer is a bit flip. I pray that you came back whole and that you are not suffering from PTS. Anyone who served our country, under any tyrant who happened to be running things at the time, deserves our respect, our thanks and the full benefits that our current administration is skimping on.

"Thank you for your service" has become a cliche. Nonetheless, thank you for your service. May all good things come to you.

[timtom]

15. No no. Not at all.

No need to apologize.

I was being flip in my post. As soon as I posted, I thought that maybe I shouldn't have attempted to joke about such a serious affair.

Everything is true, except I had lost my virginity prior to entering the Marine Corps.

[Indenturedebtor]

16. Lol

I actually don't even wear clothes anymore.

I pin exactly 2500 (50 x 50) flag lapel pins to my naked red white and blue tattoed body every morning.

I eat nothing but strawberry yogurt for breakfast, white pudding for lunch, and blue jello for dinner. Everything that goes in and comes out is pure patriotism!

I've spent the last 15 years dilligently training my rectum to only sing "Let The Mighty Eagle Soar".

Your patriotic displays were made slowly over time. Everything but my rectum daily makes a Patriotic statement of undying and blind loyalty to the red white and blue!

[comtec]

19. ow

just ... ow

[MrSlayer]

17. Bah. Patriotic smatriotic. Jingoism is where it's at.

My country right, my country wrong!

[maine_raptor]

18. Bah!

I fart the "Star-Spangled Banner" (all 3 choruses) in your general direction over your phony patriotism!

[Perry Logan]

20. No, I! I helped shred the Constitution and was awarded a medal for it.

[Random_Australian]

21. Harrumph. I'm so patriotic that I don't even realise other nations exist. So your colours are wrong.

You've been covered in the wrong colours, silly head!

And the Australian flag doesn't have stripes like that, either. 50 stars? Try five, foreigner who obviously can't count.

Foreigners are so silly. Silly person from foreign!

:)

:rofl:

[BB1]

22. Your country sucks, so why get all upset about it?

Now my country, that's a whole different order.
We don't claim to be the best;

we claim we're The Netherlands.

[Cyrano]

23. I've heard you can legally buy weed in The Netherlands and smoke it in public.

If true, I'm getting all my stars and stripes removed and wrapping myself in the Dutch flag.

(Well, my private parts tattoo may be a problem, but I will stop it from rising with reveille and setting with taps.)

And, oh yeah. Please keep The Hague open. We might have some customers for you.

[Contrary1]

24. Liar. You must be a Librul. No way are you more patriotic than me...

Here I am in my everyday attire:



You should see me when I'm really dressed up!