Oh, jeez, how did we miss this? "Ripe for Terror? Gumball Machines Being Inspected"

[krispos42]

DOVER, N.J. (AP) -- Fear that terrorists could poison children has led three Dover aldermen to begin inspecting gumball machines.

They've surveyed 103 machines in the Morris County town and expect to report their results on New Year's Day.

Aldermen Frank Poolas, Jack Delaney and Michael Picciallo have found 100 unlicensed machines filled with gumballs, jawbreakers and other candies. The three feel they're ripe for terrorists to lace with poisoned products.

Police Chief Harold "Butch'' Valentine tells The Star-Ledger of Newark the odds are a person would win the lottery before terrorists would use the machines to launch an attack.

<one more paragraph>

http://www.1010wins.com/pages/1078038.php?

I'm at a loss for words.

Except for :banghead:

[nadinbrzezinski]

1. Is this a small town?

small towns are more afraid of terrarist than actual targets

Never mind that kids are being poisoned right now by CHINESE CRAP!

[krispos42]

2. About 18,000

Not to big, but big enough.

Terra terra terra!

<sigh> I'm so glad I moved to the Midwest before 9/11. Where I grew up is becoming a police state.

[silverweb]

3. OMFG....

I used to live/work near Dover and my son went to first grade in Dover.

While I'm sure this town of less than 20,000 souls in the Watchung Mountains has grown some since we were there many years ago, this is still an insane absurdity.

:crazy:

[MrSlayer]

4. This "terror" idiocy is way out of hand.

The fact that they announce this bullshit is itself the terror.

[rodeodance]

10. there is a purpose for this stupidity--instil fear around every corner!

[WilliamPitt]

5. It's November

(This is a guess) They have to spend their entire budget by year's end, or they won't get the same amount (or an increase) next year.

Every year as Thanksgiving approaches, the roads in Boston suddenly start getting paved like crazy (even ones that don't need paving), and bridges start getting tuned up (even when they're solid as God's Own Ass)...

...and this all happens so the department can justify their budget allocation request for the upcoming year (for money they really don't need and will waste through unnecessary shit next Thanksgiving so they can justify their next budget allocation request, lather rinse repeat).

The gumball guys are spending the last of the budget so their allocation request doesn't get fucked with. They need that money, see, because of the gumballs and terrorists and stuff.

Also, I think these gumball guys might have been dropped when they were babies, too.

[aquart]

9. Uh, you sure those bridges are solid? I mean, really sure?

[sakabatou]

6. FEAR! TERROR!

ONLY REPUBLICANS CAN SAVE US! FEAR! TERROR!

[krispos42]

11. RUDY for MAYOR OF DOVER, NJ!!!!

Only HE can save them!!!!!

[krispos42]

7. What about the ketchup?

You know the built-in dispensers that McDonalds and the like use? That you pump to put the ketchup in the little paper cups?

Like, OMG! What if, like, a TERRORIST works at, like, a Burger King, yanno? And, like, the TERRORIST slipped some, like, poison in the tank of the ketchup?!?!?!?

Quick! Form a blue-ribbon commission!!!!!! And get a gas mask!

[silverweb]

8. LMAO

Like, OMG, you're soooo right!

Hide me right now and like gimme a gas mask quick!


:rofl: