Boston Terror Plot Foiled!
Mooninite Leader: ‘The Innocent Shall Suffer — Big Time!’
http://www.communistleague.org/pdf/tw/tw20070210.pdfReprinted with permission from the editor
BOSTON (UCPA) — The recent attempted terrorist attacks throughout the area have raised serious questions about homeland security and the importance of vigilance on the part of citizens.
Nearly a dozen suspicious improvised electronic devices, thought to be bombs by the police, government officials and media, were systematically found and dismantled before their creators’ fiendish plot could materialize.
With the typical swagger that most extremist groups display, the IEDs also had a propaganda message for those citizens they sought to terrorize.
At first, authorities were unclear about who was responsible for the devices. The media speculated that it may be another attempt by the Islamist organization, al-Qa’ida, or a similar extremist grouping.
In the end, officials singled out two agents who operate out of an alleged “advertising firm” for arrest. The media swarmed all over these two, asking pertinent and probing questions.
However, the two agents were obviously well trained, speaking only about hair styles from the 1970s.
These agents were not members of al-Qa’ida. They were part of a more sinister organization, called “Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.”
MTWTFSS is the chief terrorist wing of the extremist movement called the Mooninites. The Mooninites openly proclaim themselves to be the destined rulers of our entire planet.
While the media concentrated on the two lowly agents, a reporter for
The Worker <[i>Communist] went right to the source for comment.
Speaking from his cave deep in the core of the Moon, Ignignokt, the leader of the Mooninites and Digital Ruler of MTWTFSS, talked with us about the reasons why they initiated this plot.
“You have deeply offended us and our god,” said Ignignokt, “and our god is a god of vengeance.”
The Mooninite leader went on to talk about his view on the events of Jan. 31: “We will decide your fate, and the fate of the entire galaxy.”
When asked if their actions were prompted by Bush’s recent decision to send more troops to Iraq, Ignignokt replied, “We don’t do what mere earthlings tell us.... We’re from the moon; we do what we want.”
Ignignokt’s chief of security, known only as “Err,” was also interviewed for this article.
When asked about whether the intelligence gathering efforts of the Dept. of Homeland Security concerned their movement, he replied: “Those dogs, they can smell anything ... you got to kick them in the throat!”
In a brief moment of candor, the Mooninite security chief also mentioned his disappointment that attempts to terrorize other U.S. cities did not materialize.
“What do I have to do? Because I’ll do it! I mean, I’ll do it. Just tell me what I have to do.”
When asked what their ultimate goals were, Ignignokt was indignant at first: “Wouldn’t your a** like to know.” After a while, he cryptically commented, “This is negotiations, not violence. Violence is later.”
“Err” was similarly evasive when asked about their goals, but did make the following observation: “It’s the Moon, man. It’s, like, deserted. There’s nothing up here; it’s like frickin’ Kansas.”
Clearly, the goal of the Mooninite terror is conquest, territorial expansion and colonization.
Before leaving, we asked if they had anything to say to the people of Boston about the foiled plot.
Ignignokt replied, “We are sorry in the most sarcastic sense of the word.”
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