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CEDILLA.
Where have you been, sister?
COOLA.
On Oh, Really?, slandering Aliquot
And taunting his followers.
GRAYMALKIN.
How about you, sister?
CEDILLA.
Virtuously at home, writing more fiction.
Mr. Scarf said he’d buy half a million copies!
It’ll be another best-seller!
And you?
GRAYMALKIN.
On the World Wide Web, of course!
A pinheaded Democrat – now,
There’s a redundancy, sisters! – a foolish and persistent fellow,
He tried my patience.
He cited facts from the source
To rebut my home-made prognostications.
He tried to make me look the fool, and nearly succeeded.
CEDILLA.
Oh, your virgin eyes and ears!
COOLA.
So you ---
GRAYMALKIN.
-- Googled him. I found his addresses, work and home;
His numbers, social security, license plate and phone,
His credit card balances, his payments in arrears
And details yet more intimate.
I published these on my site.
I expect that my loyal readers might
Drop by his home and persuade him for a minute.
-- So much for that Liberal!
SONG. WITCHES: THREE LEGGY RIGHT WING BABES
ALL. Three leggy Right-Wing babes are we,
On television frequently,
Screeching our vile hyperbole;
Three leggy Right-Wing babes!
COOLA. Each one of us a T.V. star --
GRAYMALKIN. Things that we say there always are --
CEDILLA. Hateful, violent and bizarre!
ALL. Three leggy Right-Wing babes!
ALL. Three leggy babes reactionary
Slandering Clinton, Gore and Kerry
Riveting horny boys unwary –
Three leggy Right-Wing babes!
Three leggy Right –
Wing babes!
GRAYMALKIN. One leggy babe is cute but dumb –
CEDILLA. Two are relentless with the drum –
COOLA. All three together leave you numb –
Three leggy Right-Wing babes!
ALL. Three leggy babes, reactionary
Slandering Clinton, Gore and Kerry
Afflicting you, mountain, coast and prairie --
Three leggy Right-Wing babes!
COOLA. Katie Couric’s Eva Braun –
GRAYMALKIN. Round up the Japs and hold ‘em down –
CEDILLA. I look great in a strapless gown --
Three leggy Right-Wing babes!
ALL. Three leggy babes, reactionary
Slandering Clinton, Gore and Kerry
Riveting horny boys unwary –
Three leggy Right-Wing babes!
Three leggy Right –
Wing babes!
GRAYMALKIN.
A drum, a drum!
MacBush doth come.
MACBUSH.
How far, now, to Capitol City?
--Whoa, three slender mannequins?
Lucky me, I've hit the trifecta! But so immodest in dress,
They cannot be family-values Republicans
'Tho' they claim to be so. I confess
They more resemble scarlet ladies of the avenue.
-- Are you real? or are you
Only apparitions from T.V.?
-- You seem to understand me,
You, the bottle blonde with her chappy finger laying pert
Upon her skinny lips? You should a woman be,
And yet your Adam’s apple forbids me to interpret
That you are so. Speak, if you can. What are you?
COOLA.
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