* to hold press conference at 10:30 today!

[ReverendDeuce]

Here it comes!

"BREAKING" on MSNBC.

I say we have a contest to see who can do the best pre-speech impersonation. Who here can best mock the chimp?

Bush: "The 'merkan people need to understand... to understand that I am making up my mind on this. We fight the evil do... the people that would bring us hurt, we fight them elsewhere as to... to say that we don't need to fight them on our shores, with our people. And your jobs as reporters is the tell them that, the people, that we are ready to fight wherever they are hiding... on the shores of our own, or... on our shores or over there... wh'ever the call comes, we are going to respond to threats in kind."

Reporter: "What?"

[underpants]

1. Iraq is hard

I have a report right here that just so happens to support what "needs a sammich" I call him needs a sammich guy said the other day about his gut feeling. That's like me I rule er I lead with my gut so some say that my gut has been disasterously wrong I don't feel that way and I know that our troops and commanders out there in the war on terror don't feel that way because I feel that they don't.....

[cureautismnow]

2. There had better be a Libby question or two or three... n/t

[H2O Man]

3. "The threat ...

9/11 ..... the world is better off without Saddam .... 9/11 .... rape rooms .... terror .... 9/11..."

[AndyA]

4. Bush: "My fellow Murkins,

My administration and me ain't done nothin' wrong. Everything we done has been to protect you from the evil terraists that done took down the WTC on September 11.

In order to provide these protections, we must spy on you, torture prisoners, give tax cuts to the wealthy, keep gas prices high so the oil companies can make money, and have a White House that is not constrained by the laws of the land.

I didn't want to be a war President, but I am one.

I don't want to see people sufferin', but no one suffers more than me and Laura, but she done told you that already. (Snicker, snicker)

People who have been advisin' me should be able to do so without worry of being held responsible for their advice, so I ain't gonna allow this Congress, led by a bunch of libruls from the Democrat (sic) Party to oversee what I and my people do on a daily basis.

So there ya have it, and I ain't takin' no questions."

[Buzz Clik]

5. "The surge is a success. I am The Surgeon."

[annabanana]

10. perfect!!. . . .n/t

[MUAD_DIB]

11. The Surgerer?

[MorningGlow]

18. Ain't that a sewin' machine? n/t

[demobabe]

15. And I is smart, too. That makes me a Brain Surgeon. n/t

[SammyWinstonJack]

30. ...

:spray:

[sarge43]

37. "I am The Sturgeon in Chief!" Cold, wet and not too bright n/t

[Virginia Dare]

39. We're surgin and splurgin...n/t

[Virginia Dare]

6. Jeezus frickin kee-rist, STFU and go on vacation already chimp..

terra, 9/11, terra, 9/11, progress, progress, progress, terra, 9/11, terra, 9/11, blah biddy blah blah blah...:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

[bdamomma]

34. yes, go on the vacation and leave us alone, damn you!!

[Virginia Dare]

38. He can make it a permanent one too!!...n/t

[eShirl]

7. OOK! OOK!

[Pab Sungenis]

8. I have never been a quitter.

To leave office before my term term is completed is abhorrent to every instinct in my body. But as President, I must put the interest of America first. America needs a full-time President and a full-time Congress, particularly at this time with problems we face at home and abroad.

To continue to fight through the months ahead for my personal vindication would almost totally absorb the time and attention of both the President and the Congress in a period when our entire focus should be on the great issues of peace abroad and prosperity without inflation at home.

Therefore, I shall resign the Presidency effective at noon tomorrow.

(we can dream, can't we?)

[MUAD_DIB]

9. Is there something he needs to knock off the airwaves?

Why is he waisting the public's air?

[Norquist Nemesis]

14. Well, let's see...

10am - CSPAN3 Hearing on Fired US Attorneys, House Judiciary Committee
Witness - Harriet Meiers

OOPS! She RSVPd with (no) regrets though.

[ReverendDeuce]

16. To remind everybody of their worst nightmare...

That he is STILL in office and hasn't been impeached.

[Solly Mack]

12. satisfactory progress...not everything we hoped for but needs more time

to be fully implemented - still too early to tell...I know you're tired...I'm tired too...let's be patient. We can win...we will win...threats are still there...we must endure...blah blah blah

or something like that anyway

[Connie_Corleone]

13. "Iraq is too much work for me."

"I don't have enough time to spend on vacation fishin' with my daddy. I quit. Ya'll can deal with Iraq. I'm outta here. HEHEHEHE!"

[Norquist Nemesis]

17. Commanders on the ground rather than politicians in Washington

AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA!
New Way Forward has just begun
AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA!
September 11th
AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA!
War On Terror
AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA!

(and just for good measure)
Democrat Leadership
AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA!
AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA!
AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA! AL QAEDA!

[DeeDeeNY]

19. Whatever he says, the press will lap it up

They will laugh at his bantering and stupid jokes, as though he were a standup comedian.

[Norquist Nemesis]

20. Reporter: You said we had them on the run!

Are they running over here because we're fighting them over there?

Bush: I reject the premise of our question. Next!

[liberal N proud]

26. That would considered too tough a question to ask

Remember, no tough questions for the preseedente

[AnnInLa]

21. Well, gee, thanks for comin to my presser, guys and gals!

Press: Ha, ha, ha, giggle, giggle, laughter

george: David, I have that same tie. Guess that means we agree on sumpin.

Press: Bust a gut laughter.

george: welcome to our new press room. Do yall like it, or should be bring in a few rats to make it seem like home?

Press: falls on the floor laughing

george: I have no comments about Libby. Tha, tha, tha that's all folks. I'm outa here.

Press: groan

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

22. is that a seersucker suit? i hear they're comin' back.

[murielm99]

23. This might be about Harriet Meirs.

This is the first time the Democrats have given * a concrete, specific threat.

I'll bet Rove or Cheney has something up his sleeve about how to counter this. After all, they had the commutation for Libby, since a pardon might have brought impeachment closer.

I would not be surprised if one of their mouthpieces anticipated a threat of contempt and found a barely legal stopgap. They can't risk her sitting in jail until *'s pet SC covers his ass for him.

[Virginia Dare]

41. Harriet who?....n/t

[Forkboy]

24. Just once I'd like to see him come out and break into a song.

Bust out into a Michigan J. Frog impersonation or something.

[ReverendDeuce]

32. If that happened... would the MSM cover it?

"For the sake of our nation's stability, we will not cover this event."

[Forkboy]

36. The nation's stability has never stopped them before.

:)

[MorningGlow]

25. Be skeered--be very skeered

Never mind all those hearings and lyin' and all--and never mind them preverts neither--there's terra-ists out there and they're gonna GITCHA. BOO!

Oh yeah, and 9/11! 9/11! 9/11!

Thankyaverramuch.

[Sparkly]

27. Another campaign speech, is my guess. nt

[Ezlivin]

28. It'll be his last speech before the upcoming scheduled terrorist attack

And the last one done under a Constitutional Democracy. After the attack martial law will be declared, DU will go dark and we'll have a new Amerika.

Now I could get cynical...

[peekaloo]

29. Golf club in hand: "Now watch this drivel".

a blurb across the bottom of the screen will read "Close Minded for the Thinking Impaired".

[133724]

31. I have a gut feeling; oops I mean I had a Brain Fart...N/t

[bdamomma]

33. I will not be listening to this imbecile killer, I do give those

who listen credit. Now what will he say? he wants to protect the American people while committing genocide on people who have not done anything to us. Also I do not like the idea of him doing the thinking for the American people. Go ahead W, your poll numbers will go down further.

[ReverendDeuce]

35. It's about the 8 of 18 goals that Iraq gets passing marks on!

Per MSNBC...

'Satisfactory' on 8 of 18 goals

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19723307/

[radfringe]

40. LOVELY... first chertoff's gut

now we get to listen to bush's ass