Here are the top four stories currently featured on the FoxNoise website:

[11 Bravo]

The top story, complete with picture, concerns a missing teen. You will be shocked to learn that she is cute and white. The next story describes the on-going strife between Fatah and Hamas in Gaza. Story three details the deaths of four people found shot in an Illinois SUV. The finale featured story relates to a recent study which suggests that women dream more about sex than they did 40 years ago.

If you scroll down far enough, and squint to read the fine print, you will find a brief mention of a fellow named Libby. Apparently he is embroiled in some minor legal scrape.

Fair and Balanced.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. Where would Faux be without cute blonde women?

You know, the Enquirer at the supermarket checkout has more credibility than Faux has.

[rurallib]

2. And just where are Lindsey Lohan and Brittney Spears?

Fux is slipping!

[monmouth]

3. They also like "Obamagirl" - Gave it 5 minutes, Libby 30 seconds. n/t