For your profound entertainment, a poem: "I'm the Decider"

[DesEtoiles]

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2006/4/18/185016/217

I'm the decider.
I pick and I choose.
I pick among whats.
And choose among whos.

And as I decide
Each particular day
The things I decide on
All turn out that way.

I decided on Freedom
For all of Iraq.
And now that we have it,
I'm not looking back.

I decided on tax cuts
That just help the wealthy.
And Medicare changes
That aren't really healthy.

And parklands and wetlands
Who needs all that stuff?
I decided that none
Would be more than enough!

I decided that schools
All in all are the best
The less that they teach
And the more that they test.

I decided those wages
You need to get by
Are much better spent
On some CEO guy.

I decided your Wade
Which was versing your Roe
Is terribly awful
And just has to go.

I decided that levees
Are not really needed.
Now when hurricanes come
They can come unimpeded.

That old Constitution?
Well, I have decided
As"just goddam paper"
It should be derided.

I've decided gay marriage
Is icky and weird.
Above all other things,
It's the one to be feared.

And Cheney and Rummy
And Condi all know
That I'm the Decider -
They tell me it's so.

I'm the Decider
So watch what you say
Or I may decide
To have you whisked away.

Or I'll tap your phones.
Your e-mail I'll read.
`cause I'm the Decider -
Like Jesus decreed.

Yes, I'm the Decider
The finest alive
And I'm nuking Iran.
Now watch this drive!

[MadMaddie]

1. This is great...bookmarking...

[silverweb]

2. Perfect!

Definitely a keeper.

:thumbsup:

[madokie]

3. well by gawd, thats good ;-)

[wtmusic]

4. Very Clever!

but "unimpeded"? "derided"? Is Junior capable of pronouncing those words? Or is this presented through a surrogate like Scotty? :shrug:

[Gabi Hayes]

5. remember the song, "I'm a girl watcher"??

somebody should do a thing with that

[Pastiche423]

21. Giving it a go...

nostamj (Jeff) would do this so well. :cry:

I'm The Decider, I'm The Decider...
Decidin' who'll die, heh, my my
I'm The Decider, I'm The Decider...
Who, what, where and how

I was just a boy when I blew up some frogs
Then found a new pastime to dwell on
Blowing up countries w/oil back to the stone age
I play the game I do so well

I'm The Decider, I'm The Decider...
Decidin' who'll die, heh, my my
I'm The Decider, I'm The Decider...
Who, what, where, how

Anyone want to jump in for the 2nd verse?

Original lyrics:

I'm a girl watcher, I'm a girl watcher...
Watchin' girls go by, hey, my my
I'm a girl watcher, I'm a girl watcher...
Here comes one now

I was just a boy when I threw away my toys
And found a new pastime to dwell on
Whenever I detects them there of the other sex
I play the game I do so well on

(repeat chorus)

Mumble something tell my my, but you do look swell
Could you please walk a little slower
Wonder if you know that you're putting on a show
Could you please walk a little closer

[BrotherBuzz]

26. nostamj be smiling

Jeff Matson, I miss yor wit.

[Whoa_Nelly]

6. Awesome! Now...add some pics and cartoons

The Dr. Seuss type of cadence calls for it :evilgrin:

BTW--I thought I had heard * say some stupid things, but "I'm the Decider" tops'em all. It's like he won a game of one-potato, two-potato.

[Booster]

7. That's very good. With your permission, I will send this to all I know.

:toast:

[DesEtoiles]

10. It's not mine - go to the dKos link. but it's damn good!

[MissWaverly]

8. Bravo

Kind of reminds me of Alice in Wonderland

"We must have a trial: for really this morning I've nothing to do." Said the mouse to the
cur, "Such a trial, dear Sir, With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath." "I'll
be judge, I'll be jury, said cunning old Fury: I'll try the whole cause, and condemn you to
death."

this is called "A long tale" from Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll

[Zen Democrat]

9. He's a Decider, AND a Uniter? Wow, what a guy, huh? n/t

[Berry Cool]

11. Not only that, he's a problem solver.

Why? Because, well, heh heh, he solves problems. 'Cause he's a problem solver.

[Zen Democrat]

16. AND a war president, heh, heh.

[Patsy Stone]

13. I think he's a decider AND a divder.

It's hard werk.

[David Zephyr]

12. Bravo!

:applause:

[Patsy Stone]

14. K&R

Very Seussian.

[madame defarge]

15. Excellent! Get this published!!! n/t

[left is right]

17. Worthy of

the Nobel Prize for Literature

[lonestarnot]

18. I have a problem with this stanza

I decided on Freedom
For all of Iraq.
And now that we have it,
I'm not looking back.

[Stephanie]

25. the unreliable narrator

a common literary device

[grannylib]

19. Nicely done! Every progressive (and a few regressives!) that I know

is going to get a look at this!

Love it.

[Pachamama]

20. Don't forget the "Voices"....

I wonder if he sees "Dead People"....probably not, because if he did, there would be so many, he'd be haunted by the dead people that died because of him.....

[Patsy Stone]

22. Russ Ballard

1984:

Voices

If you could see my mind, if you really look deep, then maybe you'll find
That somewhere there will be a place, hidden behind my comedian face

You will find somewhere there's a house, and inside that house there's a room
Locked in the room in the corner you see
A voice is waiting for me, to set it free, I got the key, I got the key

Voices, I hear voices

In my head the voice is waiting, waiting for me to set it free
I locked it inside my imagination, but I'm the one who's got the combination
Some people didn't like what the voice did say
So I took the voice and I locked it away, I got the key, I got the key

Voices, I hear voices, voices, I hear voices

Chorus:
Don't look back, look straight ahead, don't turn away, then the voice it said
Don't look back, yesterday's gone, don't turn away, you can take it on

Voices, I hear voices, voices, I hear voices

[SeattleGirl]

23. Hey, that's great!

I think the last two totally sum up the craziness of this guy" And I'm nuking Iran. Now watch this drive!"

[Stephanie]

24. brilliant!

k&r