Norquist's Takeaway from Election 2006: Sherwood would have won if his mistress hadn't "whined"

[BurtWorm]

:wtf:

From Pandagon:

http://pandagon.net/2006/11/13/when-you-throttle-that-mistress-remember-that-youre-only-throttling-your-own-polls/


When you throttle that mistress, remember that you’re only throttling your own polls
Published by Amanda Marcotte November 13th, 2006 in Conservatives Sure Are Funny, Crime, Assholes

They don’t make mistresses like they used to. Back in the day, your mistress knew her place; she was a fuckhole and nothing more. But nowadays, mistresses are full of ideas and some of them even think they have rights. Well, Grover Norquist for one sees the drawbacks to these new-fangled mistresses, particularly if they are mistressing for Republican politicians.

Although some glitz has come off Mr Rove, Republicans have been more eager to blame botched campaigns and individual ethics scandals. “Bob Sherwood’s seat would have been overwhelmingly ours, if his mistress hadn’t whined about being throttled,” said Mr Norquist.

And by whining, Norquist means, “Locked herself in the bathroom and called 911, terrified after Sherwood tried to strangle her.” All the same, a sign of the times. Used to be that a mistress knew her place and simply acquiesed to assault instead of whinily summoning help.

Realizing that Sherwood’s ex-mistress might have a legitimate reason for not wanting him to win the election, Norquist backed up some and remembered who’s really to blame when a mistress gets choked, and it’s not her for trying to get rescued.

Any lessons from the campaign? “Yes. The lesson should be, don’t throttle mistresses.”

Still, ambigious. Why not throttle mistresses? Is it because it’s wrong? Or just because there’s an off chance they might “whine” to the police and to the press about it? If Sherwood could have gotten away with it, would that have changed Norquist’s advice? Considering his use of the word “whine”, it’s hard to imagine that he’d be overly concerned about mistress-throttling.

[NanceGreggs]

1. Typical of this crowd ...

... it's never about the crime itself, it's only about getting caught.

Note to Norquist: Your party lost. Please stop whining about it -- it's getting on my nerves.

[bumblebee1]

4. Since Norquist in whining,

maybe we should throttle him.

[NanceGreggs]

6. Well ...

... it would seem like the appropriate thing to do ...

[liberaldemocrat7]

9. Send Norquist back to Scandinavia !

.

[SpiralHawk]

12. Mistress Throttling Vs. Congressional Page Boinking

The republicon Moral Majority will have to decide.

Which is more "moral" in the republicon universe?

[KingFlorez]

2. So choking someone is okay?

Another one of these people with no sense of what is right. Sherwood might not have lost his seat had he not been a maniac.

[madrchsod]

3. he needs to go to the..

"fuck`m in the ass federal prison" (office space) for a few years. i`m sure someone will show him the errors of his ways...

[upi402]

5. "winning" and "getting away with it" go hand-in-hand

with Republicans.

[MADem]

7. Grover will never throttle a mistress, of that we can be quite sure!! NT

[LittleClarkie]

8. That's gotta be some kind of joke. He couldn't seriously have said that.

I'm killing brain cells just thinking about it.

[BurtWorm]

10. You don't know about Norquist, do you?

Murder is one of his favorite metaphors:

"I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the bathroom and drown it in the bathtub."

[WilliamPitt]

11. See: New Orleans

Speaking of murder, and drownings.

[BurtWorm]

13. Norquist's wet dream.

So to speak.