So when do we make Christmas illegal?

[Jersey Devil]

I can't wait! :bounce:

[walldude]

1. It's not? O'Reilly lied to me again damnit

:rofl:

[No Exit]

54. Stop that laughing! The War on Christmas is REAL!

:scared: :scared:

Listen here, you, you'd better take this seriously or we'll all be speaking "secular" next year! From that fount of wingnut wisdom, Liberty Post:

"These companies have banned "Christmas" from their retail ads, in-store promotions or television com

Source: American Family Association

URL Source: http://www.afa.net/christmasban.asp

Published: Nov 10, 2006

Author: staff

Post Date: 2006-11-10 04:27:09 by out damned spot

Ping List: *Prayer List*

These companies have banned "Christmas" from their retail ads, in-store promotions or television commercials.

Please take time to let them know you are offended by their anti-Christian and anti-Christmas bias. Their contact information is below.

We cannot stress to strongly how important it is for you to be firm, yet very kind in your correspondence with these companies. Please be respectful and choose your words wisely.

In addition, companies marked with an asterisk* have gone so far as to substitute the phrase "Holiday or Dream trees" instead of "Christmas trees" in their promotions."

(snip)

http://www.libertypost.org/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=165780

See?? The TERRISTS are coming for SANTA!!!!
:evilgrin:

[orleans]

2. next year, along with a law that makes walmart pay a $50 fine (tax)

for each time an employee says "merry christmas"

[ChoralScholar]

27. Wal-Mart is screwn - we're making everyone shop at Target,

because they're owned by the French.

[demwing]

38. LOL - I think SCREWN has permanently entered the DU dictionary!

As in "Bush has screwn up the whole damn country"
or, We've really screwn the Republicans this time!"

It's a multi-purposed, utility word. If ya don't like it, get screwn!

[treestar]

60. Screw, screwed, have screwn

It's the past participle!

[Balderdash]

68. LOL!

You guys are seriously cracking me up! :rofl:

[Kerrytravelers]

3. After we get done turning everybody gay!

Get your priorities straight, damn it!



(Hehehe, get the pun? :rofl: )

[Jersey Devil]

10. Hmm, I am worried about that one

Now that the Democrats are in control of Congress some lesbian may seduce my wife, or worse, I may be forced to move to Greenwich Village and wear spandex to parties.

[LibertyLover]

57. Do you realize how many toasters we are going to get from

the Homosexual Agenda if we turn everybody gay? Perhaps we could get them to consider premium gifts for multiple turnings? So, for example, say we turn the entire town of Colorado Springs gay perhaps we could get a couple of refrigerators. Just saying. :evilgrin:

[Webster Green]

4. The war on Christmas should be our #1 priority..

This year we will be ruthless!

Happy Holidays Everyone!:party:

[No Exit]

40. I'm SORRY, but making Saddam head of Homeland Security is more important!

[rwheeler31]

5. hurry

nt

[Warpy]

6. Right after we force all men to marry other men

and abort every woman's first pregnancy.

Didn't you get the memo?

[mykpart]

15. You left out raising everyone's taxes and

granting amnesty to all the terrorists!

on edit: Also burning all the Bibles and making religion illegal! Executing children for praying in school!

[Warpy]

52. Oh, my bad!

I also forgot putting a Communist under all their beds.

It was late.

[No Exit]

43. And then we give Mark Foley the e-mail addresses of all the elves!

[johnaries]

7. We just change it back to one of it's original names.

Like the Winter Solstice Celebration. Or Yule, or Saturnalia.

Then we can discuss the true origins of Solstice traditions - like mistletoe, the Yule log, the Solstice tree, gift-giving, etc.

[lapfog_1]

36. now now now

don't start confusing people with facts.

[Initech]

8. I'd rather make it illegal to put up Christmas decorations 3 months beforehand.

Really, no one should have to see giant neon signs reading "NOEL" in the middle of August while browsing through Costco. :grr:

[johnaries]

12. I'll vote for THAT! nt

[Initech]

25. I'd also make it illegal to play Christmas music before Nov. 26th.

[Mr_Spock]

9. Soon I hope!

Can't wait to see that pervert Santa thrown into jail with his name on the sexual offenders list for life.

[mykpart]

11. The War on Christmas has already begun!

[No Exit]

44. Oh, the humanity!! We must at least issue Flat Santas to the poor freepers!

P.S. Love that pic you posted!

[pbartch]

13. Well for me, getting rid of Christmas

IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD OF.

[DemBones DemBones]

14. I agree. Those who don't celebrate Christmas can keep on not

celebrating it. Newscasters and stores have been wishing me Happy Chanukah, Happy Winter Solstice, and Happy Kwanzaa for years and that's fine as long as they include Merry Christmas in there, too.

[Coexist]

23. ummm... was that so dry it went right past me?

[Ringo84]

16. WRONG

:sarcasm:
We've gotta force everyone to believe God and celebrate Christmas the Christian way! To do otherwise would not only be Christian persecution (they took away our Bible and prayer, will shoot anyone who admits they believe in God, have put the godless Dems in office, etc), but a slap to our Christian Nation!

:puke:
Ringo

[ChoralScholar]

29. Memo to you

There is nothing Christian about Christmas.. or Easter for that matter.

The truth is not in the origin of the holiday, but in how the holiday is celebrated now. Christian or not, I like having a holiday set aside, where I have time off work that I can go visit family and give them gifts, etc.

[Ringo84]

31. Right!

Exactly my point! The fundies think that everyone has to celebrate Christmas their way. You celebrate Christmas differently. And whether they like it or not, you've got that right.
Ringo

[mmonk]

17. I think it's planned right after the bible banning legislation.

[Coexist]

18. not illegal - but warred upon - our first recruit:

[Coexist]

19. .

[Raiden]

53. That last toon is great! N/T

[flying_monkeys]

20. Thanksgiving is first. on the calendar...

Can we make that Un-American somehow? Maybe play up the smallpox angle in later months? And then work on tainting Apple Pie? Cuz I really prefer pumpkin... Ohhhhh, then can we get into the works a ban against marshmallows on top of sweet potatoes? I'd really dig that....


After we gut Thanksgiving, THEN we go after Christmas ;)

[No Exit]

46. Surprise! Shrub is flying in to present you with your plastic turkey!

[jakefrep]

21. Only after we restore the legality of Thanksgiving...

...it seems like we skip straight from Halloween to Christmas. Why do the retailers with all their decorations out already hate America?

[951-Riverside]

22. Right around time we make Chanukah, Ramadan and Kwanzaa illegal.

:bounce:

If I made the same topic about Chanukah or Ramadan I would probably be called a racist or insensitive and probably would have been banned too, Incredible.

[treestar]

59. But that was not the point

Your sense of humor is screwn, apparently. What is it that the RW whines about whenever someone who celebrates those other holidays says anything about the government promoting Christmas?

[Floogeldy]

24. When you pry my Xmas tree from my cold, dead hands . . .

. . . you damn dirty ape!

Oh, sorry. I slipped into an acting role there for a second. ;)

[happyslug]

26. WE DID IT ONCE, IT IS TIME WE DO IT AGAIN

The Puritans considered Christmas a Pagan/Catholic holiday and made it illegal from about 1600 till at least 1838 (Which was the first time Congress took Christmas OFF). From the 1830s onward Christmas made huge comeback with heavy German Influence

Thus All we need is bring back the 4 schilling fine for celebrating Christmas that was the law before the 1830s.

[brettdale]

28. email this

Question to John Gibson.

[email protected]

[NoSheep]

30. That would be my christmas dream!

[immerlinks]

32. I'm new here, so I'm kind of confused

Is everyone here serious or are you making fun of the repubs? I think people should be more respectful of those who do not celebrate holidays and not impose their beliefs on them but is banning Christmas necessary?

[Coexist]

33. busting on O'Reilly and his imagined War on Christmas

led by us evil liberals.

As if anyone in this country would NOT know what holiday falls in December.

Welcome to DU - there is a lot of satire and sarcasm here.

[PennyK]

34. If you're going to hang around here...

...you are gonna need a sense of humor! We're a little (OK, a LOT!) exuberant right now.

[Floogeldy]

35. Aw, pay no attention to those Jewish heathens.

And welcome to DU!

:rofl:

[demwing]

39. God bless those heathens!

Without them, I'd have two or three less paid holidays per year.

[NoSheep]

42. um....it's hyperbole. get it?

[No Exit]

45. I'm very sorry, little one, but with our new Democratic congress,

it is our job to completely eradicate the Joy of Christmas, in order to keep Bill O'Reilly's blood pressure elevated to its proper level. (When his pressure approaches normal levels, he has to double up on his Viagra.)

Now, please, be compassionate and stand aside as we shrink Christmas down so small that it can be drowned in the bathtub; remember, we're only doing this so Bill can enjoy a moderately active sex life!

[immerlinks]

50. OK I get it.

I thought it was sarcasm but some of the posts were so eloquent I thought maybe they were serious. A co-worker told me about this site. I had also thought all of the blocks were for right-wingers. He also told me to check Dailykos, but this one seems a lot less confusing, for navigating that is. Thanks for the info.

[Coexist]

51. I hope you enjoy your stay here

there are people from all sides - from center to left - and we bicker a lot, so you will need to grow a thick skin!!

[No Exit]

55. Thank you, and please join me in saluting Bill O'Reilly's Falafel!

:)

[Raine]

76. Just being silly and making fun

of the RW fundies who swear that Democrats want to outlaw Christmas. :eyes: The majority of people here love Christmas, I know I do. :-)

[Raiden]

37. It is time!

E-mail this wonderful idea to Speaker Pelosi...I don't think they celebrate X-mas in San Francisco, so she may be unaware of how important destroying this dubious religious holiday is.

Destroy Santa and Baby Jesus!

:sarcasm: obviously


Wait a minute, I thought it was the Repigs who melted the North Pole and drowned Santa. Tell all America's youth that Santa Claus drowned with all the polar bears, and that there'll be no Christmas this year! That'll secure the next generation to become homosexual, secular abortionists who live off government programs and of course vote for the "Democrat" Party...It's perfect!! This is series!!!1111!!

[0rganism]

41. how about May 11, 1659?

in Massachussetts Bay Colony, anyway...

"For preventing disorders, arising in several places within this jurisdiction by reason of some still observing such festivals as were superstitiously kept in other communities, to the great dishonor of God and offense of others: it is therefore ordered by this court and the authority thereof that whosoever shall be found observing any such day as Christmas or the like, either by forbearing of labor, feasting, or any other way, upon any such account as aforesaid, every such person so offending shall pay for every such offence five shilling as a fine to the county."

From the records of the General Court,
Massachusetts Bay Colony
May 11, 1659

[treestar]

63. Holy Cow! That's right, we've forgotten our Puritan roots in this country!

Thanks for posting that!

[Hippo_Tron]

47. You're missing the point, first we have to let the terrorists win

Then President Sadddam Hussein will make Christmas illegal for us.

[treestar]

62. You're right! We don't have to bother! When we're all Muslim,

Christmas will just go away by itself!

[U4ikLefty]

48. Shhhh...that is the third phase of Plan-Pelosi!!!

First we must move a Mexican next-door to every white-man in the U.S. (to take his job, of course) Then we must turn everyone into a homosexual...and THEN we can destroy X-Mas!!!

Stick to the plan people...geez!!! :sarcasm:

[Dogmudgeon]

49. What's going on?

I've been busy having man-on-dog sex with my "special friend", Rick.

We've been trolling the local pound looking for some hot bitches. (And ONLY bitches -- you don't think we're homosexual, do you?)

--p!
Arf!

[shadowknows69]

56. We haven't done that yet?

I've already sent out invitations for my Yule orgy, get with it.

[Subdivisions]

58. OK, I found DU while looking for confirmation of my suspicions

concerning the sorry state of our country and I have only been here a few months...which means all the Christmas banning threads are a mystery to me.

I get the feeling that, like "moran" "This is HUGH!!!!111!" and "I'm series!", the Christmas banner sarcasm is a reference in a similar vein.

Can someone give us DU Noobs a heads-up on the backstory?

[distantearlywarning]

65. Bill O'Lielly of Faux News

Every year he engages in endless diatribes during which he claims that liberals are engaging in a "War on Christmas". To back up this assertion, he usually finds some 1 in a million example of a dumb-ass administrator at an elementary school refusing to let kids sing Silent Night or something. In short, he's trying to emotionally rile up the sheeple over absolutely nothing.

The whole thing is ludicrous to the average "liberal" on the street. Thus, the making fun commences about this time every year.

[treestar]

66. See post 33

seems the best explanation

[baby_mouse]

61. Directly after compulsory tofu-burgers for all under-16s. NT

[maveric]

64. When our Gays impregnate their women so we can give them abortions.

[Vektor]

67. I'd like to pass a "Bestiality Protection Bill" first.

Priorities, Jersey Devil!

The freepers love to say that if we allow people to marry members of the same gender, "the next thing you know, a man will be marrying a goat," and where do you draw the line, and so forth.

Well, if you can find a goat who can say "I do" and actually sign a marriage contract with his or her little cloven hoof, then we need to protect that love!! :-)

[Silent3]

69. How can you consider putting such trivialities first...

...before we've legalized baby eating!?

[Vektor]

72. Good point!

I guess we have a lot on our plates for the next two years...oh, where to begin, with our filthy, pinko-commie agenda!

[NEDem]

70. First we need to waterboard santa

until he tells us where he hides all the toys during the off-season.

[orleans]

71. k&r (hehehe) n/t

[Vektor]

73. I'd rather fight Christmas over there...

so we don't have to fight it over here! We need to stay the course on this.

After all, we haven't been attacked by elves again...well, since the fist time we were attacked by elves on Bush's watch...

STAY THE COURSE!!!1111

[orleans]

74. one more kick. i love these answers--had some great laughs on

this thread. thanks for the wonderful topic!

[Raine]

75. Now that we have control

we do it immediately. :sarcasm:

[Canadian Socialist]

77. I know why Bill is so het up about the "war on Christmas"

It's so obvious, I'm surprised DUers haven't figured it out.

Santa lives in the North Pole, with a lot of (presumably heterosexual male) elves. All year long.

The North Pole is in Canada. Where "gay" marriage is legal.

Now, once a year, Santa gets to escape from the North Pole, with his (presumably heterosexual male) elves.

Are you following my train of logic yet?

Whilst said Santa and elves are out and about on this one day a year, they are hooking up with...

women!

Yes! If there is no Christmas, than Santa and the (presumably heterosexual elves) do not get to hook up with women! That is why there is a "War on Christmas"! Because the Canadians do not want Santa and elves to turn straight!


QED. The liberal/homosexual agenda.