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Edited on Sun Jan-15-06 02:03 PM by The Backlash Cometh
of self-destruction (and we're going to go down with him.)
The short answer: Because no one has convinced him that there's a better way, and no one has stopped him from taking the course he's taking.
The long answer: Because Bush is making his Bumstead Special. A Bumstead Special, for anyone who is 35 years or younger, is a sandwich created by one Dagwood Bumstead from the Blondie t.v. series. The series was a black and white, pre-"I Love Lucy" kind of show; and the Bumstead Special was a stacked sandwich that was made with every cold cut imaginable, cheeses, lettuces, tomatoes, onions, pickles, relish... You just keep piling on the cold cuts between slices of bread until you have something so high that really, only a boa constrictor that can detach its lower jaw has a chance to get its mouth around it.
Anyway, I made a Bumstead Special once in my life, when I was very young. I lived near the Isthmus of Panama the year that crazy Dixon woman made a prediction that Panama would be submerged under a tidal wave. The date of the expected tidal wave was April the 14th. Well, my parents never, and I mean never, took a vacation together without us that I remember, except for that weekend. It was probably something related to a family situation Stateside, like attending a funeral, but the details were nothing that they shared with me. I just pictured them on high ground while the rest of us were left to face our fate on April the 14th.
The week prior to the event, the only thing that anyone could talk about in school was the upcoming tidal wave. Everyone tried to outdo each other sharing what they planned to do in their final days. I opted for two things. The first thing I did was take one of my dad's port bottles which he kept for visiting guests, poured the contents down the sink, inserted a note inside the bottle which left for posterity just how pissed off I was about being left behind, then put a cork in the top of the bottle. For good measure, I melted candle wax along the cork to make sure the cork stayed in place. Then I went to the backyard and put it in the most open place so that the waves, when they came, would generously lap it up and send it to parts unknown.
The second thing I did was make a Bumstead Special.
Now, you have to keep in mind that we were a frugal family that saved money in the customary frugal ways. For example, for many years I was stuck wearing my sister's hand me downs which was not an easy thing to do because she was obese and I was a rail. Half of the time I walked around with my shirt falling off my shoulder.
Anyway, t.v. was free and I loved watching the Blondie movies and though I hardly had much of an appetite in those days, I became enthralled with the Bumstead Special. So convinced was I that this tidal wave was coming, that I felt that there were no consequences to face in making my Bumstead Special. Think about what this meant. My parents left on their vacation leaving behind a week's worth of groceries and we were being cared for by a grandmother who didn't drive, and none of my older siblings had driver's licenses either. If I was wrong about the tidal wave, we would be short a few days worth of staples. Well, it wasn't even a concern. I was that convinced it was coming I grabbed every cold cut in the refrigerator, every piece of lettuce, tomato, cheese and anything else that laid flat on my Bumstead Special. Let me tell you, it was a beaut. It was the most satisfying 15 minutes of my life.
Anyway, the tidal wave didn't come, but I got my backside sprayed pretty good when my parents came home.
So, in sum, Bush believes the tidal wave is coming and is making his Bumstead Special, putting everything we've set aside in the refrigerator for our future needs, and he won't stop until the parents come home.
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