A Modest Proposal

[The Deacon]

The Radical Right Wing complains illegal immigrants drive down wages for the poorest of working Americans - immigrants will accept lower wages because those wages are still more than they can get in Central America or Mexico.

The Neocons want no amnesty for people "breaking the law."

The Left Wing believes that the "hard-working" people deserve a chance and want more employer sanctions for hiring illegal immigrants.

I take no positions in the debate (hey, my family made it here in 1682 - not sure they would have been allowed in after standards were tightened.)
I do, however, wish to make A Modest Proposal (apologies to Johnathan Swift.)
Why don't we offer a Work Permit to any illegal immigrant who gives testimony or evidence leading to the conviction of anyone violating Fair Labor Standards? This Permit would be convertible to citizenship after two years if:
1. Worker has no convictions for a felony in the U.S. after two years
2. Worker recites "Pledge of Allegiance" as originally written
3. Can sing at least one verse of "The Star Spangled Banner"
4. Can order a Philly Cheese Steak IN ENGLISH
Wages won't be depressed by illegal immigrants being forced to accept substandard wages. No amnesty for breaking the law - rewards to hard-working people for upholding the law. A chance to actually punish the people driving illegal immigration. The "Star Spangled Banner" and Philly Cheese Steaks PROTECTED against being sullied by a language that was once spoken over nearly half the territory of this great country.
Everybody happy?

[TechBear_Seattle]

1. And here I thought...

You were going to suggest using disgraced GOP politicians as a way to feed the hungry. Goodness knows, there are enough of them.

[The Deacon]

2. Sorry

Johnathan Swift & (Up)Chuck Heston ("its PEOPLE, dammit!") already had that shtick sown up.