Jesus' General: Mr. LaBarbera, Please take credit for your research!

[Coexist]

Dear Mr. LaBarbera,

I was surprised when I learned today that Elmhurst, Illinois is number one in the nation when it comes to Google searches for the words: "sex," "porn," "gay porn," "anal sex" and "vibrators." After all, Elmhurst is not the first place you think of when you're listing the top ten candidates for New Sodom.

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That would certainly explain Elmhurst's high anal sex search rank. Indeed, given your legendary interest in homosexual sex --by all appearances, you think about it every waking minute--I'd be surprised if any other city topped the list. That would also explain why Norfolk, Virginia is your biggest rival for number one--it's in Pat Robertson's backyard.

Unfortunately, most of the rest of America will not make this connection. Elmhurst and Norfolk will forever be branded as the new Sodom and Gomorrah in their minds unless you and Pastor Robertson step up and take responsibility for the rankings. I hope you do so soon.

I find that I just cannot become obsessed with homosexual sex. In fact, I cannot become obsessed with deviant heterosexual sex either. How is it that people can spend their lives freaking out about it? If it is a bible thing, isn't it then for God to judge - why make it your personal mission? This man is whacked - he really needs a new hobby.

That said - it is too darn funny that Mr. LaBarbera's and Mr. Robertson's parts of the world really are ranked highest in Googling "anal sex". What a world we live in.