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Would love to go to a meeting today, but not feeling well enough the last few days.

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MrsBrady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-18-11 06:57 PM
Original message
Would love to go to a meeting today, but not feeling well enough the last few days.
Edited on Tue Oct-18-11 06:58 PM by MrsBrady
I'm in al-anon.
In mid-august I had a health scare. I'm much better, but not all the way there.
Still not able to work. Had an acute kidney infection that had me in the hospital for 4 days, and
took a long time to get rid of the infection. Just yesterday we realized that I've had sacroiliitis the entire time as well.
Very painful. We didn't know though, until my urine samples ran clean -- and my back was still killing me.

So I'm hurting too much today to get to a meeting.....I had several spinal steroid injections yesterday.
Luckily I'm not an addict and can take something for the pain. Last night was unbearable almost, even with pain medicine.
So I'll be glad when the steroids start to kick in in the next day or two.

I had not been going to meetings or church very much since I married and moved from one side of DFW to another
a few years ago. Well, I can't say I didn't go to meetings at all, but I certainly got out of going regularly.
And never pick up a new sponsor. I was just going enough to get by.

You know how I realized I wasn't putting myself first? Recently one morning I got out of bed about 5:30am to take
the dogs outside in the back yard. One of the dogs has to be on a leash even in the back yard. So I'm standing there
with her waiting for her to do her business, and I realize that I need to go to the bathroom. It's ridiculous.
I'm standing there, holding it, while the dogs do their thing. It dawns on me how stupid that is. And I began to wonder...
if I don't even let myself go to the bathroom first before the dogs....what in the hell else am I doing? UGH!

Anyway, a few weeks ago, after I was feeling well enough to drive...I got my butt back to meetings and church.
Besides this health scare, there have been lots of difficult things to deal with the last couple of years. I should never have
tried to deal with all that stuff 'by myself' -- and I don't quite know why I was doing that. But getting by isn't really good
enough anymore. I want to thrive.

I started in Al-anon in 1999, and have worked all the steps with a sponsor. When I moved over to this part of town,
I had hard time finding a group that I liked. But now there are 2 groups near me that I'm settling into.
I'm in the process of looking for a new sponsor. And I am letting people know I'm available to sponsor if anyone needs help.

Anyway, just checking in.
I feel so much better the last couple of weeks after getting back to meetings.
It also feels so good to remind myself that I don't need to know how things are going to sort themselves out -- that God will
do that for me. Just doing what's right in front of me, is all I need to do.
As difficult as life has been the last few years, I will never have to live life like I did when I first got into the program.
What a mess I was.

So grateful that I know where to go and what to do now. So grateful for 12-step. Thanks for listening.

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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-18-11 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
1. it's so often true that we need to get to desperation to be willing
i'm so glad you are feeling better and were given a 'moment of clarity' to get you back on track!


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cordelia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-24-11 07:21 PM
Response to Original message
2. Thank you so much for sharing.
I'm glad you're feeling better.

I have a great sponsor, and he's encouraging me to sponsor someone. Part of my healing is giving back what I've been given.

From what you've posted, I bet you'd be a great sponsor.

Best to you.
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