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Why I am an Insomniac

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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-30-05 04:22 PM
Original message
Why I am an Insomniac
Why I am an Insomniac

1. It's brutal cold again today
clouds have shut the sky
next to me
no one moves
no one dares to look,
or look away.

I hate my dreams.

2. All day I've been trying
not to breathe. There's a crushing weight
and I can't move
and I can't scream
and I can't even open my eyes.

I hate my dreams.

3. My cheek is pressed to concrete. My hand
curls against its cold texture.
I pretend to sleep, but hear
everything. Footsteps come closer.
The impact
when he kicks me
hard
on the head
sounds like steel ringing between my ears.
I wake up, and still hear it
and still feel the pain.

I hate my dreams.
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jun-01-05 03:16 PM
Response to Original message
1. I understand
I've had troubles with insomnia in the past as well, but not because I hate my dreams. I have a nightmare here and there, but mostly my dreams are either pleasant or weird.

Very well written poem.
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pinerow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-10-05 08:14 AM
Response to Original message
2. I may be reading too much into this, so correct me if I'm wrong...
"The impact when he kicks me..."...I can't help thinking of an abused wife or child too scared to sleep and dreading their waking hours...unable to escape the reality of the abuse and at the same time incapable of a sound sleep lest "he" comes home drunk again...as I said...I may be reading too much into this...it is still a very dark and haunting reminder of those things we have no control over.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-10-05 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. It's from an actual dream
Edited on Fri Jun-10-05 10:52 PM by AlienGirl
In the dream, I was lying with my eyes closed but not actually sleeping on a concrete floor. I could feel the cold concrete, the little ridges under my cheek and my hand curled up under my head. I heard footsteps coming closer, then right next to my head. Then, WHAM, pain and that horrible metal ringing noise. I awoke instantly, my head still ringing and hurting.

All of these images are from actual dreams I've had.

Tucker
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pinerow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-05 10:32 AM
Response to Reply #3
4. What a dream...although it still conjures imagery of
spousal and child abuse...I like your stuff...Iespecially like because the interpretation is open to the reader...only the great ones can do that.
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AlienGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-11-05 02:04 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Thanks!
Yes, it does conjure imagery of an abused child.

Tucker
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