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Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Reading & Writing » Poetry Group Donate to DU
 
pinerow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-21-05 10:18 PM
Original message
Work in Progress
Whisper
Ramon Piñero 5/21/2005

Quietly,
like a whisper
in a dream
she moved
about the
caverns
in my
head
she stole
softly
into
my
heart
and
and
escaped
before
I could
tie
her
down.

softly
like
a
springtime
breeze
I
felt
her
breath
all
over my
skin
goosebumps
and
tingles
butterfly
kisses
against
my cheek

she
still
electrifies
the air
and
my hair
stands on
end
just
remembering
the last
time
her lips
met mine
when her
touch
reached deep
into
my
soul
and said
I love you.










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Steel City Slim Donating Member (410 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-22-05 12:09 PM
Response to Original message
1. Whew!
That is very nice.
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pinerow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-22-05 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Thanks...I'm not sure I'll do anyting more with...I kinda like it the
way it is...
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Droopy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-22-05 02:42 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. It is wonderful the way it is
A very powerful love poem. I think that if you added to it that it might take away from the intensity that you have now. At least it would be hard to match and keep up I would think.
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pinerow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-22-05 03:25 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. You have a point...it ain't broke...why fix it...lol
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JitterbugPerfume Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-23-05 08:03 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. every woman
dreams of being loved like that
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pinerow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon May-23-05 08:38 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. JitterBug...flattery will get you most anything....lol
Edited on Mon May-23-05 08:39 AM by pinerow
nt
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