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When people are "confused" and blame someone else....

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DaveJ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Oct-05-11 08:09 AM
Original message
When people are "confused" and blame someone else....
How come when some people say they are confused, they realize they lack all the facts and then proceed to educate themselves on the matter. But, when others say they are confused, they blame the person presenting them with the information.

Let me expound a bit: If a heart surgeon explains how heart surgery is done, and I say I'm confused, it's not the surgeon's fault. I obviously am uneducated on the topic. The heart surgeon has done nothing wrong.

If an engineer provides mathematical evidence that a bridge is going to collapse, and then people say they are confused, that would be their problem and they ought to educate themselves.

I'm asking in this forum because I think the technique is used by popular social butterfly types in order to isolate the other person providing the information and put them on the spot. It's sort of, what you might say, jocks would do to nerds.

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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-08-11 09:12 AM
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1. Social butterfly types will find some method to try to put you on the defensive
Edited on Sat Oct-08-11 09:16 AM by bemildred
when they need one. The one you mention is only one of many, so it serves little purpose to focus on it in particular. It is more important to notice when some such method is being used, and to understand that the only sensible thing to do is make your excuses and leave, or change the subject, or whatever. If one is the sort that does not enjoy social status competitions, it is necessary to avoid them, rather than trying to win. Even if you "win", you have still been dragged into an activity you wanted to avoid.

If one is in the position of instructing someone else on some topic, then of course one does have some responsibilities that one might be derelict in carrying out.

And it is always important for us intellectual types to remember that just because you are right, that doesn't mean you are not an asshole too. Jocks, whatever one may think in high school, are the losers of life, most of them, they need our compassion. Life is difficult even for smart people, just imagine what a struggle it is for jocks.
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