Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login


Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Support Groups » Loners Group Donate to DU
canetoad Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-08-11 02:32 AM
Original message
I love being a loner. Alone, solitary, singular. There is no place for pathetic rationalizations about being along but not lonely or in a crowd but alone. Simply, people are either extroverts or they're introverts.

Extroverts, being what they are, hold the floor. The loudest, most prolific voices on the web, at a party or at work.

We loners must not let extroverts dictate the social norm. This doesn't mean being as noisy as they are, it means retaining the detachment that allows you not to be dragged into their net of petty drama and emotional outpourings.

I love people watching and the web (and DU) is a perfect place to do it. Someone once said that 95% of user content on the web is generated by 5% of the users. Taking DU as a microcosm do you think this is true? I do.

Embrace being a loner. Enjoy not feeling the need to attend lunches and cocktail parties. Make no excuses for not being a social butterfly. You are not deficient, not a psychopath. Just a person who values privacy and their own space.

I guess I should explain what prompted this post; I've called into this group periodically over many years but doubt if I've ever posted. I see self-professed loners agonise over their solitude, longing for greater social contact.

My advice is; stop beating yourselves up. Come out as a proud loner and stop making excuses. The truth will set you free :)
Refresh | 0 Recommendations Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-26-11 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
1. +1.
The last thing I want is to be an extrovert.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
knowbody0 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-26-11 05:41 PM
Response to Original message
2. well, i really like you
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-08-11 09:22 AM
Response to Original message
3. Proud loner checking in.
I'm not antisocial or egotistic, but I do enjoy my own company primarily.

I live alone by choice. I finally took the last step in embracing my Inner Loner last month by removing the two useless loveseats I had in my apartment. I just don't entertain. I converted my kitchen table from the purpose of dining to that of a large counter and put the kitchen chairs up in the attic. There is no place to sit down here except for in front of the computer.

I'm never lonely. I've almost always been like this. Didn't want to play games on the playground during recess. Didn't run around with cliques in high school. During senior year, one guy (whom I've known since kindergarten) wrote in my yearbook that he admired how I was independent. Finally, I thought, someone "gets it". I visit others and do limited get-togethers but really, I am so happy to come home.

In this society, there is pressure from friends, family, and community to be social, to join with others, that it's better you're not alone. Bullshit. It's more than not being married. It's being so comfortable with yourself that you can't improve the situation.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-12-11 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
4. PROUD loner :)
Edited on Sat Nov-12-11 09:31 PM by stuntcat
Looking around, at everything the people show me, I'm prouder every single day of being separate.

I was sort of a loner already, then years ago I had a traumatic brain injury followed by months of therapy (learning to walk and read, and almost everything else) Well the therapists warned my family that without much interaction I could become more of a loner, and that's exactly what happened. Now I spend a lot of time by myself, gardening and making arts.. playing with cats, whatever! But I don't worry about it, I know it's who I am. I have a volunteer job that I've started skipping most weeks because the women there are so horrifying. I mean, when my experiences with people upset me so much, and they say selfish bullsh!t that I spend weeks trying to forget, then why should I spend my time with them? I have plenty to do at home. No one stops me from turning the music up loud all day. My cool Mom and my aunts and my best friend live far away but they email me every day :)
My husband and I were both only children so we like to be quiet doing our own thing. We'll spend a whole weekend just reading or working or looking at computers, and that's okay.
I'm happy to embrace it! yeah :thumbsup:
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Tue Sep 26th 2017, 03:26 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]

Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Support Groups » Loners Group Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC