Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login

Just found this forum...

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Support Groups » Loners Group Donate to DU
badgerpup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-04-08 02:43 AM
Original message
Just found this forum...
Doesn't look like it gets much of a workout...
Hi. My name is badgerpup, and I'm a loner.

In company I can be bright, entertaining, sympathetic, outgoing, and funny. People do like me; but I don't have the emotional energy to maintain give and take over time.

Had a supposed long-term relationship come to an abrupt end two years ago...but am on very cordial, if long-distance terms with another ex.

Sometimes I feel as though I'm going to implode from the loneliness...and then (such as two weeks ago, when ex and his son came to stay for the weekend) thought I was going to go nucking FUTZ because there was no place I could go to in my house to be by myself.
Father and Son (not my step-son, his dad and I never actually got married) did bring their electronics (TV and X-box) along, so the noise level was a lot higher than the 3 cats and I are used to.
I don't have these choice.

Don't like to call people and complain, because I know how tiresome that gets after about the first 5 or 6 times, and most of the people I know have lives and troubles of their own. They don't need my baggage. On meds. Car being broken, can't afford to fix it, transportation and some physical disability is an issue. Am stuck at home a LOT more than could wish. There are some community services of which I'm trying to take advantage, but they're having problems of their own right now due to not enough staff.
Can use public transportation IF the bus 'kneels', otherwise I'm SOL.

Try to do all the shit I'm 'supposed' to do...but still haven't really achieved a balance here.

Refresh | 0 Recommendations Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-25-08 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
1. A tardy welcome, badgerpup.
You're right. This forum doesn't get much conversation. Either we are loners that are comfortable being loners, and don't need to discuss it, or we are loners by default, rather than by choice.

Which are you?

I've always been something of a loner, but when I was younger, I would also get lonely.

I've never liked crowds, and have always been more comfortable in a group of no more than 3-4 people for any social situation.

The older I've gotten, the more I crave aloneness. Too many people around me leave me tense and exhausted. Silence and space and freedom to be without sharing space and I'm content.

I like my friends. Really. I enjoy spending time with them. I have to work to keep them, though, because I can go months without talking to them and not miss them at all. Meanwhile, their social lives move on.

I avoid the phone and communicate more frequently by email. That way, I can control the amount of communication.

Cats are the best company for loners, from my perspective. They are independent enough not to be needy, yet still offer physical contact which is often lacking in the life of a loner.

My dog, too, is good company when we're alone. She is just "there" wherever I am; she likes it when I talk to her, but I don't have to. She likes physical attention, but is content just to be near me.

Even my horses are great company.

It's the people that need entertaining, that demand attention, that get in my space, that suck the energy out of the environment and me.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
Nay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-01-08 09:32 AM
Response to Original message
2. Another welcome, Badgerpup. I also only check this forum once in
a while, since it doesn't get much activity. I am a long-time loner who has never really been lonely. I am married to another loner, which is nice, except he loves TV and that damn box blares day and night. Like LWolf, I like peace and quiet and TV doesn't fit into that equation.

I also have friends, but like LWolf, have to remind myself to keep up with them so they won't go away completely. I'm in my 50's now, and have figured out how to get along with the people I am forced to deal with (coworkers, neighbors, relatives), but I still look forward to the day when I can ditch most of them. Retirement! Sounds like heaven!

Extroverts get energy from being around people; we introverts are drained by being around other people. That is the best description I have ever heard of the difference between the two types.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-01-08 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
3. Welcome Badgerpup, join the crowd here.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
stuntcat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jun-02-08 03:27 PM
Response to Original message
4. welcome! (even later, sorry)
*loner pride* :hi:
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
stpalmer Donating Member (111 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-22-08 08:12 PM
Response to Original message
5. I Just Found it Too!
I always called myself a "loner" but never knew there were people out there like me! My Dad was a loner; brilliant and introspective, loving but not emotive--when he died there was no one to contact, no funeral arrangements--he was alone but for his two daughters. I didn't think I was like him in that way--but since I got married 15 years ago, my husband and I had to adjust to the need I have to be alone, think, read, not interact for a bit each day.

The older I get, the more I need my space. No one who meets me thinks I'm anything but extroverted--but it's an effort, and a skill to socialize. I've developed the skill, but can't keep it up as a lifestyle. I read a book about energies--some people give off energy (me) and others take energy and don't return it. I think I must be a 100% giver of energy.

People exhaust me--suck the life juice out of me. My sister moved in with me for six months and she is someone who is never still, never quiet, almost shakes with energy from 5 am to 10 pm. I could not wait for her to leave!!!! She asked to move back in temporarily and I had to tell her "no". Never again! She makes me nervous and jittery after about 2 days.

My son inherited my loner qualities.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sat Oct 21st 2017, 10:27 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]

Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Support Groups » Loners Group Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators

Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC