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I am a loner w/ kids, a hubby and friends

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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Oct-13-07 01:22 AM
Original message
I am a loner w/ kids, a hubby and friends
But I am at heart a loner and would like to be able to 'stop time' for that which I NEED. I NEED to be alone with my own thoughts. Hubby understands and tries to accomodate.....

I would sooo like a month or so w/ only my own thoughts and experiences.

I need to be 'grounded' again.

Can anyone in this forum (which I just discovered) relate to this?
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Darth_Kitten Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Nov-20-07 07:17 PM
Response to Original message
1. Not married, but yes, I can relate to wanting my own space.....
I need my own space each and every day. Away from everybody. :)
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Jan-10-08 10:08 PM
Response to Original message
2. I like to take a few days off and go up in the mountains.
During the week is better because you can find empty campgrounds. I find a week or two is enough every so often. I like to backpack too, for up to a week. My family is long used to it. It is very energizing. It's not really so much a matter of being alone as being silent.
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shenmue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jan-13-08 12:34 AM
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3. I think you don't qualify...
All those people, see...
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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Jan-16-08 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
4. Yes.
I've always been a loner. I've been married. Twice. In part, it was my disinterest in socializing that helped break down my last marriage.

I have friends. I don't get together with them often, but I have them.

I have family living in my house. I wish I didn't. Don't mistake me; I love them dearly, and I wouldn't want them too far away. Just out of my personal living space.

My idea of a great weekend is to come home Friday night, close the front gate, and not see, hear from, or speak to another person until I leave for work on Monday morning. Not that I ever get to do that anymore.

When I was younger and had more time and energy, I used to like to take solo trips. Leave the family behind and go off on my own. I spent a week in October in Yosemite on my own. I spent an early spring week in Death Valley on my own. I spent a week in Monterey on my own. I spent time in Joshua Tree National Park and the Sequoia National forest on my own. I have no problem driving, eating out, hiking, swimming, shopping, seeing movies, attending concerts, etc. all by myself.

When I'm feeling especially stressed, a weekend away where I can enjoy the anonymity of room service and no one trying to talk to me works.

If I get that time, I also enjoy my family and friends. Without it, I pull into my shell and avoid ALL interaction.

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Nay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-20-08 08:18 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. LWolf, we seem exactly alike. I also love being alone, and if I don't
get enough quiet time, I'm cranky. Since I'm married, have a son and grandson, a full time job, I am rarely alone enough to make me happy. When I was younger I also took solo trips and enjoyed the hell out of myself.

When I'm driving, I almost never turn on the radio because I like the quiet. I rarely watch TV, and hate the sound of it on all the time, which hubby loves...OK, I lost that battle. I also have no problem eating out, hiking, shopping, etc., alone, either. In fact, I prefer it.

Your comment on weekend getaways got to me -- reminded me of the time hubby and I tried staying in a bed and breakfast. OMG! It's like living in someone's house! They were always there, they almost hovered! It was horrible, and we felt horrible because the ppl were NICE. But we wanted to be left alone! From then on, we have always stayed in anonymous hotels with room service, too!
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-21-08 07:42 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. Thanks for this Nay and LWolf.
My life circumstances have been changing (more than usual) during last 18 months, and seeing this gives me more to 'work' on, that is, incorporate I guess.

I'm retired lawyer, and official retirement was kind of forced on me by circumstances. I'm married and separated, with 2 young adult daughters. So while being alone is possible, its never without serious concerns about someones or things.

But reading this brought to mind an 'early' experience. Right after college I moved to Chicago, to a nice, friendly, interesting neighborhood, with a small, bright, good cafe-type restaurant. I'd take newspaper with me to their Sunday brunch, and have a wonderful time, me, myself, and I.

So thanks for helping me remember!
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stpalmer Donating Member (111 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Nov-22-08 07:59 PM
Response to Original message
7. I totally relate
Luckily, my husband is a professional sailor and is gone two months at a time. I don't think I could be married to someone who was home a lot---during the month he's home, I'm exhausted! He's a people person, and doesn't need even a minute alone. The schedule of going out, doing things, seeing people drains every bit of energy I have.

I'm a teacher, and being with the kids all day is a bit draining, and it took me years to get used to it, but I did! This year, I have a lot of special needs kids, and the sped teachers and paraprofessionals are in my room all the time (including a sign-language interpreter)--that drains me, and I go home exhausted. I think they are all psychic vampires, and they suck all of my life-force out of me (just kidding).

My son is a loner like me (and I get it from my dad)....quiet, reflective, needing a lot of space.
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