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siouxsiecreamcheese Donating Member (534 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-19-07 11:01 PM
Original message
Does anybody else feel completly alone?
I hate this feeling.. I know I'm a loner and 90% of the time I like being that way.. but right now I just feel like completly and utterly alone. and I hate it. I want someone in my life again. But I don't know where to start. It seems I've lost most of my close friends and the only other person I can talk to is my mother.. I don't know.. Why can't I ever meet any interseting people let alone just people?? I just want to run outside and start introducing myself to people but I know I wouldn't meet anybody here. I'm way too shy. I try and try to be outgoing but it just doesn't work. I'm not that kind of person. How much longer will I have to wait to get a real friend??? Anyhoo, thanks for letting this sad and depressed chic vent on your board.
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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun May-20-07 12:18 AM
Response to Original message
1. join a club that feeds a real interest you have. it worked for me. :)
Don't feel lonely. Go out and find an interest group. Then you can go as often as you want. You don't have to wait, honey.
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billyskank Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-29-07 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
2. Yep.
I am surrounded by people who say they care so much about me, but the sad truth is this. When I really need it, there is no-one there for me. I am having a hard time facing up to this.
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IronLionZion Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Jun-01-07 02:35 PM
Response to Original message
3. Approaching complete strangers is the worst way
There are organized social events that make it more comfortable. Consider checking out sites like meetup or meetin. You can find something that interests you and go to it, then you will meet people with common interests since you're there doing the same stuff together. I like dinners because I'm a foodie and you can talk to people but there are many other sorts of events like volunteering or outdoor stuff.

That's a start. I'm at a place where I don't have a close relationship with anyone and it seems to work for me. If I want to do something I can usually find someone who will hang out, but nobody really cares about me and I don't really care about anyone. Oh well.

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DemExpat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-03-07 09:06 AM
Response to Original message
4. I have a dog in my life who is a great social aid for me!
Since I enjoy and choose to be alone most of the day, having my dog to walk twice a day in the parks here keeps me from feeling totally isolated.
I have met some great "park" friends this way - no strings attached and no socializing other than on our walks with our dogs, but the discussion and good talk with these friends is very special and appreciated.

I also volunteer once a week in a library which provides a good feeling of connection as well.

Hope you find your way to meet some friends and comfortable social contact.



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nolabels Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-03-07 09:11 AM
Response to Original message
5. I do sometimes, and it feels like a good place
You may be wrestling with the balance of being part of both. The loner and the people in you are at conflict and feeling for both sides is a juggling act. The better you get at the juggling act the more whole you will feel. If you feel disenchanted then there is good chance you are letting one get the better of you :shrug:
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raccoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-24-07 10:45 AM
Response to Original message
6. Yes. I've especially felt that way since my mother died.

I'm like you, most of the time I'm OK being a loner, but sometimes I'd like somebody to go places with.
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TeamsterDem Donating Member (819 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-25-08 03:40 AM
Response to Original message
7. Siouxsie, substitute the word "father" for "mother" and you've just described me
Edited on Thu Sep-25-08 03:40 AM by TeamsterDem
Sorry to hear I'm not the only one in this sucky boat. I guess that means in some strange way we're not totally alone: We're suffering "together" across the DU expanse. (I don't know whether to put a smilie or a sad face here)

Oh, and also substitute "dude" (or whatever) for "chic." Guess that's kinda important. :)

On edit: Had to switch the order of "mother" and "father."
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deepthought42 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-10-08 11:36 PM
Response to Original message
8. Yep...
my roommate's away for the weekend, my boyfriend's in northern VA, my family's in MD, my friends are in Maryland/Kansas/who-knows-where. Normally I'd enjoy the solitude, but I can't even afford to entertain myself ($80 in the checking account will do that to you), buy food/gas/ yeah...I am alone.
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Louisiana1976 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Sep-30-09 11:45 PM
Response to Original message
9. I do, except for my cat.
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david13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-01-09 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
10. I do also. But then, I am completely alone.
I was talking to my father, but now that ended. We hate each other. He was abusive my entire life, and still is, and doubly so, in that, after he is abusive and hurtful, he says, oh, that didn't bother you. In other words, my feelings don't matter.
It is a difficulty.
Most people don't really care. Oh, they say they do, but they don't.
Volunteer work is so so. It helps a little.
I went to a meetup group 2 weeks ago. Only 1 person there would speak to me. The rest, after I introduced myself, said nothing.
I talk to each and every stranger I get anywhere near. About 80% say nothing or 1 word, then walk away. And I'm not bad looking, I don't look odd or anything.
But once in a rare while I have a good conversation. And a month ago I met a guy who could be a friend. At least to do some things with. At least some.
So we went for a motorcycle ride today. Not bad. But he may have a lot of the hang ups that so many people have, that there are certain conventions that must be followed. Or else.
Like breakfast, or pancakes. I say no convention. When they serve breakfast all day, have pancakes whenever you want.
So we'll see how long this lasts.
But the bottom line is, it ain't easy. But get out there and try. And keep trying. Then, move on to the next one.
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