I'm stumped. Befuddled. Critique this photo. Lay it on me....

[F.Gordon]

I've come up with about 6-8 decent snaps for this "series". This is one of them. Ultimately I'd like to see if I can get in this place so I can snap it proper like. Until then...

** Would you have shot this any differently?
** Does the B&W treatment work? Is the intentional noise too much?
** Should I clone out the barbed wire or tilt the photo to straighten the posts and then crop out the wire?
** The "negative space". Should I crop the photo to reduce it or leave it?
** Or, does this snap really suck and should I stop wasting my time on it?

Don't hold back. I personally like it but my brain has gone blank. I would like to come up with a decent way to finalize this so I could do a large print of it.. in a 20 x 30 size. Keep that in mind when suggesting "fixes".

I'm off to count sheep and tommorrow is an "off-line" day so please be patient if I don't respond quickly. Thanks.

Have at it....

[RagingInMiami]

1. I like it just the way it is

Where at any moment, the roller coaster might veer off the tracks and find itself suspended in air.

[F.Gordon]

12. Dang. Didn't expect this many responses

That'll teach me to post late at night and then disappear.
:spank:

Leave it alone? Check. Thanks Ragin'.. appreciate it.

[RC]

2. Where did that Sunday with the cherry on top come from?

You can see the glass and stem.

[F.Gordon]

13. You mean the "skull face"?

I don't see the sundae but I did see a "skull face" after the high altitude clouds came out with the digital filter I used (red filter) in the upper right. It's a little more noticeable when viewed larger, or I just have a strange imagination... or, this place IS truly haunted.
:scared:

[Cobalt Violet]

3. Love it.

The negative space and the B&W work for me. You a full range of tones from really dark to really light in this shot.

I really like the barbed wire too. It adds interest IMHO, and it is your among your darkest darks.

Don't' give up what ever you do.

[F.Gordon]

14. Thanks Cobalt Violet

And welcome to the DU photo group.
:hi:

Glad to hear you're ok with the neg space. That's been stressin' me out. A "purist" would immediately ignore everything in the snap and do an "invasion of the body snatchers" scream at the neg space. And I aint no purist.
:crazy:

[Cobalt Violet]

25. I don't see the negative as a blank.

As a painter I'm looking at the negative space as an object too. There is alot going on there.

[TahitiNut]

4. Roger Corman's "Twilight of the Coaster"

:dunce:

[F.Gordon]

15. I was thinkin' more Rod Serling, but Roger works.

Guy afraid of coasters. Feels they are the work of the "devil". At the end of the show he finally gets up the courage... goes on coaster... and it comes back empty.
:evilgrin:

[Boo_Radley]

5. ...

I like the black & white. That's good. I'd keep the barbed wire. I'm not sure about rotating it, you'd have to try it and see how it works. The negative space . . . I'm not sure about that. I like the general effect, but there might be too much. If I were going to alter it myself, I think the first thing I'd try would be to crop down the negative space some to see how it worked, and maybe turn the contrast up a little.

By the way, did you do this at a very wide angle? It kind of looks like you did, and it may have had an adverse effect on the pilons holding the rollercoaster up.

It's a cool picture, though. Very cool.

[F.Gordon]

17. I should have done one post for every reply

I'm playing with some crops but I need to try to keep it at about 60-70% so I can still get a good large print of this. And yes, very wide angle. It's another "issue" that has stressed me out. If I tilt the photo I can use the PSP thing and straighten them out.. but I like the distortion that wide angle can create.

Thanks for the kind words and comments. I'm also going to try your contrast suggestion.
:hi:

[okasha]

6. I like this just the way it is.

I don't think this would have worked in color at all; it's too much about form and light. Your clouds make almost a mirror image of the curve of the coaster, and you need all your "negative" space above for balance. It took me a minute to find the barbed wire, which means it fits into the general form and rhythm of the scaffolding. I'd leave it.

[F.Gordon]

18. Color....... very boring

You're ok with the barbed wire? Whew.....
Thanks for the comments. You're on the same page I'm on with the negative space. It adds "weight" (is that a photopoop term???) to that part of the snap.

[DS1]

7. This isn't a critique, but it flashed into my head when I saw the pic. So

I had at it.



( not by any means a final draft, just a half hour of tinkering with pshop )

[RagingInMiami]

16. That's great

[F.Gordon]

19. That is ahhhhhhsum

Do you do web design? Sorry... don't lurk the lounge enough to know everything you're into. You did an excellent job on this.... and I like the crop. Very impressive. I didn't know you were so friggin' talented.

[DS1]

28. Thanks

:blush:

Yes, it's something I do, just not enough.

[bvar22]

8. Wow.

At first I thought too much empty space, especially if it is going to be 20 X 30.
BUT
This is a photograph that would catch my attention, time, and imagination at an exhibition. I would stop to study this one.
I like the barbed wire, especially since it is not apparent at first glance, and the extreme lower left placement of the barbed wire is good, in direct opposition to the clarity and purity of the extreme upper right. The structure that emerges from the confining wire is interesting. Rickety is a good word. Short Lived, temporary, Clever but Fragile.
The initial trajectory of the structure would appear to be reaching for the Clarity of the Upper Right (Babel-esque), but meets the traditional fate of all ego constructs at lower center where it disappears into the White Light. It is cool here that the contrast between the material and the eternal becomes stark at the point of collision. Joseph Campbell would call this the point of Blessed Failure, because it is at the point of failure that true transformation is possible. This picture indicates that the failure (or disappearance) of the temporal is only 1/2 of the story.

I LIKE it, and would stop to ponder it.

OTOH, maybe it is just a picture of an old roller coaster and a bunch of sky.

I like what DS1 did with it, but that is a different application.

I have no comments on the technical merits, only that B&W is the proper format.

[F.Gordon]

20. Geez

:blush:

Your comments are very interesting. I was reading an old 1941 photo mag recently ... an article of interest was "The Evolution of Visual Consciousness". Your comments echo some of that was written in this article. I know I suck at most of the technical aspects of photography... what is more important to me is "seeing". When I looked through the viewfinder I "saw" the snap above. You "saw" what I "saw". I didn't verbalize it the same way, but close. That probably sounds hokey, I know.

Example.. today I walked around and took about 40 "no-snaps". I was doin' digital so I could have just snapped away but I would see something interesting... and then look at it through the viewfinder. Move around. Try to "see" what I originally "saw" and it wasn't there. So I never clicked the shutter.

This new digital age moves so fast that I can't keep up with it. I've decided not to even try. I'm just going to have fun and do my own thing. I know that I'm probably doing things ass-backwards but I don't want the camera to control me.

Thanks much!!

[Blue_In_AK]

9. I like this photo...

I don't know all the technical stuff, but this appeals to me. Is this Elitch's or Lakeside (or neither)?

[F.Gordon]

21. Thanks Blue'

Lakeside. The place is essentially "dead". It's closed for the season but most of the rides, when they are open, are shut down. I have some snaps I took of Lakeside using my long lens from the back side last summer when I was lookin' for a friggin' "Water" :eyes: shot. Pretty depressing considering the rich history that place once had.

[Blue_In_AK]

30. We used to go there sometimes

when I lived in Denver in 1968-69. The rollercoaster there was pretty scary, if I remember right. Didn't it have kind of a tunnel or something at first, and then when you came out you were tilting diagonally over the lake so you felt like you were going to fall in, or am I thinking of somewhere else? Those years are a little "hazy" to me (purple).

[Ms. Toad]

10. l love it, but you know I couldn't resist playing with it

Here it is with a little tinkering:



I added illumination to the lower left corner to make more contrast between the rails and the sky (Effects, illumination in PSP with light coming from lower left corner, 33 degree cone, 50 darkness, intensity 20, 18 degrees to the right of vertical.

Then I used the clarify tool in the brightness and contrast options at maximum strength twice to pick back up some of the wonderful cloud detail lost by adding illumination.

[F.Gordon]

22. Thanks for messin' with my head

:crazy:

I like what you did but now I'm befuddled to the max. You addressed one of the couple dozen "issues" I had with this. Thanks for giving me the techo-poop. I'll give it a try on the large file. But.. I'm not near as talented as you are with this kind of thing. Not even close, but I'll give it a try.
:dunce:

[Ms. Toad]

24. It's the first time I've gotten anything I like

with the illumination tool. I think I finally have small handle on what shows up in the work pane in the tool. Thanks for the opportunity to dig in and sort it out.

[NashVegas]

11. I'd Do This

and tone down the noise a little

[F.Gordon]

23. Ok. I'm done

Hi Crisco
:hi:

Where the hell have you been? Have you found a better lab to do your B&W stuff? Are you still shooting B&W? Post some damn photos once in awhile.... :)

I like your crop and it keeps the "important" stuff in the box. I cranked up the noise on this small lo res version so you could see it. On the large file the noise is pretty subtle but I might try knocking it down even more. Appreciate the comments.

[NashVegas]

26. Hi Back

I haven't been shooting much since the weather turned cold. Plus I've been doing more painting than shooting, so .... I'll get back to it when it warms up. And thanks. What I like about squaring that pic is what it does to the geometry.

[DS1]

29. With the right typography that could make an excellent CD cover

.

[alkaline9]

27. I like it just the way it is.

Of course as the photographer you get to see all the flaws. But as an impartial viewer all we can do is admire what the photo DOES have, not what it doesn't.

#1 the concept is excellent.
#2 the b/w does this photo justice.
#3 like other viewers it took me 3-5 views to notice the barb wire, so leave it!
#4 negative space is needed in this shot to counter the rest of it.

If you were to go back and shoot this again, I don't see how you could improve upon it unless you got lucky with some special clouds or whatever. I really have no idea how this will look at 20x30 since the largest I've ever printed was 8x10, but I do know that PSP tools have sometimes degraded the quality of my printed photos (jpg). Was this originally shot as a RAW image?