I'm not sure how to start this thread.

[otherlander]

Hi, I'm otherlander. I'm 17 and I've been diagnosed with Asperger's. Earlier this year, after weeks of being unable to function in mainstream school due to panic attacks, I was sent to finish out my senior year at an alternate school, which is where I met my current boyfriend and best friend. I finally graduated and will be going to college next year.

I've been in the juvenile psych ward several times. My best friend, being 19, has just been sent to the adult ward of a hospital where I was previously locked up. I can't say anything about the adult ward, but I know that the juvenile ward of the same hospital mistreats its patients. A couple of months ago I posted an essay/rant about my personal experiences there.
I'm worried about what might be done to her there.

It's tempting to just focus on the tangible examples of mistreatment, the punitive nature of the system under the thin veneer of treatment, but that would ignore the larger issue of the ethics of involuntary treatment itself. I am of the opinion that people are best able to determine for themselves what kind of help they need, and that a psychological model that let the patient lead rather than be coerced would be best. I envision an institution based on this model, a sort of Escuela Moderna of psychology, if you will.

Well, we're a group of smart, liberal, politically conscious people, right? And isn't mental health a political issue? And don't we in this forum have first-hand experience? Are we up to taking the liberal position on that issue, then, and defending the autonomy of ourselves, each other, and all who have been labeled mentally ill? I should mention that I am vehemently anti-NAMI, because NAMI is strongly pro-involuntary treatment. I don't know if that will make me unpopular around here, but whatever. It's my stance and I'm not changing it.

If anyone wants to, I would like this thread to be a safe, stigma-free place to share the experiences that we've had with the mental health system. I'll go first if you want; I'll dig up the link to my rant from a few months ago in a while.

[elleng]

1. other, 'Sending' those such as you and your friend

to a psych ward horrifies me!

Sure we can discuss it here; there's also an Aspie group; cross-post this there?

What state are you in?

Congrats on getting in to college!

[otherlander]

3. Thanks.

I crossposted it like you suggested.

[mdmc]

2. I would enjoy reading that thread if you can dig it up

As for me, my girlfriend was recently hospitalized. Not really sure how to explain. Perhaps some other time.

I have read a white paper (research paper) commissioned by NYSOMH (NY Office of Mental Health). There is a huge gap in power between providers and consumers of mental health services. This is unique to the MH field and no other treatments or illnesses (cancer, broken bones, yadda yadda) has this gap. The report was created by a consumer that had input from over 5,000 consumers in NYS.

One of the things that the white paper suggested was that MH programs except "fault" or responsibility when they are no longer able to provide services to a non-compliant consumer. For example, if a MH day program requires consumers to see a therapist every week in order to attend the day program, if a consumer refuses to attend weekly therapy, it would be the programs failure, not the consumers failure.

[otherlander]

4. Here you go:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=389&topic_id=3268189

I'm very sorry to hear about your girlfriend. Here's a hug: :hug:

Gah... I hate the entire language of mental health.... consumers, noncompliance... >_<
We are people, not producer consumer units, and if we do not comply it is because it is we know that what is offered is not what we need.

[AZBlue]

5. Mental health care is one of my hot button issues.

I hope President Obama can address the abysmal situation we are in here in the US. I know general health care is a big topic this year and that is important - but we must include mental health care in that initiative, for both the individuals affected by it and for society as a whole.

[EFerrari]

6. "Compliance is a form of illness bound up with the idea that life is not worth living."

-- D. W. Winnicott

I've challenged a lot of MH bureaucrats and care providers with this idea. None of them has ever had an honest response.

I don't think that all psych wards are horrible or that people should never go there. Sometimes, short hospitalizations can be a safe, quiet "re-bootiing" kind of experience. There is too much room for abuse and imho, going in without having a web of people who are tracking you in support is not a good idea. But the place itself, the way it's supposed to work, can be very valuable.

[mopinko]

7. i have had a hard time thinking about what to say in this thread.

you said-I am of the opinion that people are best able to determine for themselves what kind of help they need, and that a psychological model that let the patient lead rather than be coerced would be best.

i have been on the other side of this. i have been the one to walk away from that locked door, leaving a child behind. i cannot speak, except as to what i did, and what happened to her and to us.

i think that where she was was a good place, where mostly patients were treated pretty well. by the same token, many patients did have to be brought under some sort of control. medications can take a long time to help. and you don't get in there except when you are a danger to yourself or others. everyone has to stay safe, yet everyone is a danger. so, a fine line must be walked.

at the time, my daughter was a danger to herself, for sure. aside from the cutting that had covered her arms and legs by then, she had developed a fear of me, and an anger toward me, that were completely irrational. this was leading her to test the many things that i had instilled in her about dangers of one kind and another. she was only 15, she was drinking, i believe she was having sex with multiple people, she was doing several drugs. she was staying out all night. she was mostly refusing the medications that she was supposed to be taking, mostly because i was trying to get her to take them, and because i saw how much they were helping her.

she had been in trouble with the police. she would not go to school most days, when she did she just talked and hung out and paid no attention. we grew more and more frightened about what might happen to her, and what she might do to herself. and frankly, to me. her therapist thought she should at least be in a therapeutic school. we tried to get her in, but i didn't know what she was really doing. the therapist did, but could not/would not tell us. he kept calling back after every session, trying to get them to take her. part of the problem was just finding an opening.

finally, they agreed. you cannot imagine the relief. at least for however small number of days that they would keep her, she would be safe. that was what we wanted from them. we wanted them to keep her safe. because we couldn't.

so, here is what i have to say to you-
at that point, in my daughter's eyes, i was evil. i was out to hurt her, destroy her. maybe even kill her. what seemed like the right thing to do to her was to get away from me and everything that i had taught her. to do the opposite.
in every way.
the thing of it is, she was very, very wrong. she was wrong because her brain chemistry was disturbed. her reality was skewed.

it is a conundrum- the whole idea of human minds trying to understand human brains, our own and others. when our chemistry is off, what is right can seem wrong, and what is wrong can seem right. she had the delusion that she was unloved and unlovable. that life was not worth living. that she was stupid, and could not learn. that pain was relief. that bleeding was happiness. that she did not own her own body, and should not protect it. that spirits walked with her. that voices were yelling at her, telling her that she was stupid and worthless.

what we did, and felt that we had to do, was to find a way to stop those dangerous delusions. to break the downward spiral that she was on. really, to do anything. to have her safe, even for a day. because we could not convince her that her feelings were delusions. that delusions were guiding her.

and so we locked her in a psyche ward.
and so then we got her into a therapeutic day school.
and so she has had lots of other help.
and so now, she has been in college for 2 years, and for all that time has had a job. she has a boyfriend that she loves, even though i don't. and now, she is functioning well.
and she knows how much i love her. and she knows how much she loves me, something that the delusions hid from her.

she still has a lot of troubles. her life is hard, she has to keep the delusions away.

but she is in a different place. one where she understands that she is loved.


i hope that you can find some wellness, too.