I think I'm going crazy

[Blue_Roses]

I lost my cool so bad tonight at my spouse that I didn't even recognize myself. He hasn't been on his medication since it ran out. He hasn't even tried to get it refilled. I have been gone with my 2 kids to my mom's house for a week to visit before school started and we returned home last night. Because of his job he has to go to bed early so he went to bed around 6pm. No problem, I was tired too. But tonight he got drunk (and he knows how I feel about him drinking around the kids--even though he tries to hide it from them) and fell asleep before we could even spend anytime together. I lost it and told him I'm sick of this behavior and he needs to pack his shit and GO. I really don't think I would miss him. It would be a relief. The emotional baggage is too much to take.

I've cried so hard tonight my head feels like it's going to crack.

[Sgent]

1. Wow, I really feel for both of you

And I don't have any great suggestions -- espicially if he doesn't want to get help.

My only suggestion would be to attend an Al-Anon meeting. Given what you said about drinking and his refusal to take medication, you might get something useful. Follow the link to get information about a group near you, or call the local office.

If he does want to get help, I would write a letter to his therapist/psychiatrist and send it to them, putting what you've said in it. They can't respond to the letter w/o your husbands agreement, but they can read what you have written.

Lots of :hug: :hug:!!!

[mopinko]

2. oh honey,

i do so know how you feel. you know i have followed your posts, and am worried for you. and for your hubby. he sounds like he really needs more help than he is getting. at this point, i would not make an issue over drinking if he is having one or 2. i think his problems are a lot bigger than that. and he needs more than pills. have you made any progress on finding him care beyond his gp? he is being poorly served by his doc, it sounds like. i know how much frustration that adds.
you need to take care of yourself, and your kids. if you have reason to believe that someone is going to get hurt, you need to call the police. if you can, when he is acting out of control, if you don't want to do that, get him in the car, and take him to the nearest emergency room. i wouldn't try this without help, tho. do you have someone you can call to help you?
it is a sad fact that in the end, you cannot make anyone get help. but sometimes actually facing losing family and home will make people see what is what.

[EFerrari]

3. Blue_Roses

I'm so sorry.

:hug:

I once made a list of times when Doug was likely to "lose it" so I could predict it; then, I made a list of times when I could predict *I* would lose it.

fwiw

[Maraya1969]

4. I watched a movie, (in rehab) that shows how a spouse ends up feeling

like the crazy one! I agree so much about going to al-anon. There have been studies does and found that an alcoholic has a better chance of recovery if his family gets help.

It sounds like you still think he can control his drinking. He can't. The very best thing you can do for him and you and your children is take care of YOURSELF.

I don't mean to be a preacher but I've been in both of your shoes and they both suck. The only difference is when you are in the drinkers shoes you get to numb your feelings by drinking. (don't start drinking)

:hug: :pals: