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annabanana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-12-10 04:34 AM
Original message
I have entered a strange world.
My 23 year old son, who has always had mild OCD tendencies, has started having real trouble. It seemed to come out of nowhere for me, but now he tells me that it has been going on in some degree for a long time.

In high school he was always somewhat over weight. and he suffers from gynecomastia (actual breast tissue in the chest, not just extra fat). As you can imagine he's always been very sensitive about this. As he was finishing up his Senior year at college, he began to lose weight and exercise. He got plenty of encouragement on this.

Then the weight loss got precipitous. I had spent a month away from home when my Father passed away last Christmas, and when I got back he was suffering from coldness that wouldn't go away,and very very dry skin (not his chronic eczema). I figured out from the kind of eating he was (not) doing that he seemed to have developed an eating disorder. When we looked up the symptoms etc online he just kept repeating "that's me, that's all me", (in distress). Then he confessed to me that he'd begun to find his OCD intrusive and time consuming.

Of course he had fallen off our family HC policy by this time, so we took him to a physician we know through church who gave us a break on appointment charges. My son told him about the OCD (but not the eating problems) and the Doctor put him on sertraline 25mg twice a day, (and gave us a card for a psychotherapist who might help us).

Well, the pills have given him (I think, and HE thinks) severe mood swings, especially black and scary depression episodes and what looks like nearly unbearable emotional pain. They also lessen his need for his ocd "rituals". We've decided to half his dose and cope with the OCD.

I can't get him to call the psychotherapist.

I feel like I'm living in a mine field and it's taking it's toll on the rest of the family. I know there's supposed to be "Mental Health Care Parity" now in the insurance plans, and that he should be allowed back on the family plan no later than January 1, 2011. Does anyone have any insights on how to get from now to then?
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redqueen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-12-10 10:50 AM
Response to Original message
1. Will he talk to you about it?
"It" being: why he won't call the psychotherapist, his rituals and why he thinks he feels that he needs do engage in them, or any other issues?

If you can just spend some personal time with him each day, doing something you both enjoy, and try to get him to open up about these things, it can be very helpful and also therapeutic. It took me months of talking to my best friend daily before I finally gave in and made an appointment to see a doctor.

Good luck.
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mopinko Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-12-10 11:39 AM
Response to Original message
2. shit
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

i don't really think that a scrip from a gp is going to help him. he needs real help. i know that without insurance it is tough, but i think you need to start digging for some affordable care for him. eating disorders are a sticky wicket, but any disorder takes some trail and error to find the med that works for this case.
you and he need someone to talk to that can help you find the right combo. at his age, unless he wants to let you in, you cannot be involved. be prepared to be cut out of the discussions. hopefully his care givers will continue to listen to you, but they might not talk to you.
what kind of a relationship do you have with him? can he really talk to you? is he having other problems?

take his depression seriously. i can't recommend a course of action re meds, but i think you need to be on the phone talking to the doc that prescribed him. you can't make someone go to therapy, but hopefully you can help them find the way.

you are in a hard place, my dear. please keep us posted, and feel free to send me a pm. i have so very been where you are.
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Forkboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-12-10 01:35 PM
Response to Original message
3. I would stop the meds right away.
Edited on Wed May-12-10 01:35 PM by Forkboy
There's a reason they warn of depression and suicide in people with many of these meds. I started on Depakote back in December, and at the time I was already somewhat depressed, but not majorly. Within 2 weeks of starting the Depakote I started having very intense days where I literally couldn't go more than 10 minutes without thinking about suicide. Pretty soon it was like that every single day. I tried to ride through it until late February when I found myself sitting here with a pile of pills in my hand. I knew I had to do something, and I knew the Depakote had seemed to make things worse, so I told myself "hang in there one more week, and try dropping the Depakote." I did so, and the suicidal thoughts disappeared within 48 hours.

Many of these meds work, but many don't. Don't feel like you have to stick with this one. There are others out there that may work better, but he really does need to see the psychotherapist to get the right meds, and to have to someone to monitor how they're working (or IF they're working). I'm sure he's pretty nervous about having to talk to anyone about what's he's thinking and feeling, and that's totally understandable, but it could really be a good step for him.

Best of luck to him, and you. :hug:
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed May-12-10 03:56 PM
Response to Original message
4. lets start with Nassua or Suffix County NAMI, and then go from there
NAMI Long Island Regional Council
Location: Old Bethpage, NY
11804-1004
Phone: (516)694-7327
Phone 2: (516) 367-1893
Fax: (516)420-0929
Email: [email protected]

Contacts
Name: Barbara Roth
Phone: (516)694-7327

Name: Julia Rothstein
Phone: (516)224-4442
http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=your_local_nami&Template=/CustomSource/LocalDetail.cfm&localID=0000000168&fromHL=no&state=NY

----
start here and then we will make the next step.. tell them what ya posted here..
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Duer 157099 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-14-10 09:23 PM
Response to Original message
5. What about blood tests?
Has his thyroid been evaluated, and what is his vitamin D status? I'd start there.

Best thoughts, my heart breaks for you and him :hug:
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mopinko Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-15-10 11:29 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. this is a good idea
see how he is sleeping, also. sometimes a weight gain can set of obstructive apnea. sleep deprivation can absolutely touch off ocd and depression.
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue May-18-10 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
7. I would worry about my son starting with a therapist
that I didn't know when he is so vulnerable. :shrug:

I'm so sorry, anna.

Do you have a university clinic anywhere close by? He needs a psychiatrist who knows about the consequences of meds.
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