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Closure on the Buffy Orpington saga

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beachmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 07:44 PM
Original message
Closure on the Buffy Orpington saga
I just read this, and thought you would all want to know that her highly disturbing diary was apparently not a suicide note, yet as I read her many comments in the diary below, I still think she is a disturbed individual and truly hates everyone -- no matter what side of the argument people were on. When I read her first comment, I thought I got it wrong, but then when I read ALL of her comments, I think she definitely needs to seek a mental health professional. She's really quite awful to SusanG, who is a main poster on the site, who apologized for the privacy violations but felt Buffy beared some responsibility by posting the diary and then never giving an assuring comment once the whole site blew up in a flurry of worry.

Whole diary from 10/17/06 (you can look for her comments throughout - here's a couple):

Cease and desist (9+ / 1-)

Recommended by:tiggers thotful spot, Avila, musicsleuth, Eternal Hope, cookiebear, hrh, josephk, tkmattson, lgmcp
Trollrated by:taylormattd

I never demanded attention for my diaries. I actively sought critiques, suggestions and feedback, and I wrote to other idarists about improving my writing. Period.

My sole sense of urgency was knowing that I would lose internet access soon. I also wrote one diary asking for action within a two or three day (I forget now) timeframe because of an entry deadline for readers to respond.

That the extent of my attention craving.

I did not write a suicide note, and I had no idea of the response it generated. I did not look at that email account until the time I saw the hate mail and was receiving phone calls from people I did not know. In fact, as far as I recall, I had gone through the ritual of the electronic job search listings, written the diary and walked home, not to leave again for a couple or a few days.

That frightened me - on both counts of heate email and receiving calls from strangers, I came to the site, saw some of the comments and deleted everything.

To date, not one person has come forward and identified himself or herself. I have since blocked unrecognized email addresses, and I don't return any phone calls except from prosepctive employers, which means that I don't return phone calls.

To demand that I stop something I did not know about, nor intended is ludicrous.

However, the actions of people who gave out my private information without my express consent is unlawful, unethical, and should not be repeated.

I am too tired - yes - exhausted - to continue to defend myself. It's apparent that you are convinced you are right.

So be it, but leave me alone. Forget about me. I don't matter to you at all.

by Buffy Orpington on Tue Oct 17, 2006 at 05:28:05 PM PDT

< Parent | Reply to This >

* I think it's a good lesson ... (43+ / 0-)

Recommended by:clonecone, RobertInWisconsin, Jon Meltzer, MissLaura, nolalily, taylormattd, Rita in DC, Avila, shayera, phenry, tryptamine, northsea, x, Plutonium Page, musicsleuth, madhaus, shermanesq, anotherCt Dem, peace voter, cookiebear, marchmoon, Moody Loner, RenaRF, vcmvo2, 3goldens, Elise, juliesie, Bouwerie Boy, suskind, GreyHawk, Brubs, cowgirl, lgmcp, RiaD, Nightprowlkitty, TheBlaz, CSI Bentonville, nonnie9999, Unitary Moonbat, Dreaming of Better Days, AngryMonkey, khereva, Vereker

for this community, what you've brought to this thread.

You are absolutely, spotlessly blameless for everything that happened last week.

And we are absolutely 100 percent at fault.

Thanks for the clarification. This community -- and your defenders -- really needed this closure.

I will indeed cease and desist.

by SusanG on Tue Oct 17, 2006 at 05:33:11 PM PDT

< Parent | Reply to This >

* Wow, that's a pretty comprehensive apology. (4+ / 0-)
Recommended by:tryptamine, peace voter, cookiebear, cowgirl
Unfortunately when someone gets really, really angry and upset, especially justifiably, it can take a long while to cool down, if ever.

SusanG, I like your efforts to reopen constructive dialogue ... and your willingness to let it go.

The extinction of the human race will come from its inability to EMOTIONALLY comprehend the exponential function -- Edward Teller.

by lgmcp on Tue Oct 17, 2006 at 05:40:19 PM PDT

< Parent | Reply to This >

* Kicking and flinging shit (5+ / 15-)

Recommended by:Eternal Hope, cookiebear, josephk, Eddie in ME, Joelarama
Trollrated by:RobertInWisconsin, taylormattd, Plutonium Page, shermanesq, marchmoon, hhex65, RenaRF, vcmvo2, cowgirl, TheBlaz, CSI Bentonville, nonnie9999, Unitary Moonbat, TheBookPolice, oscarsmom
when someone is down is what you do best.

there - you have your compliment.

by Buffy Orpington on Tue Oct 17, 2006 at 05:41:13 PM PDT

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TayTay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. One of the saddest lessons in life is that
you can't help people who won't admit help into their lives. I have seen many people self-destruct. They actively prevented anyone from helping them, some in a way that was guaranteed to induce guilt.

People seek help when they are ready. They can't be pushed into it. Yes, it's awful, but it is a fact of life too. You can't help those who won't help themselves.

Read this column in NOLA. I found a reference to this article on TPM yesterday. It about says it all.
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beachmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Feel free to tell me "I told you so", Tay
I guess I was wrong on the privacy issue. Lessons learned. I still can't stand Markos (but mostly for dissing Kerry!). Some things never change.
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TayTay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 08:56 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. There are no told-you-so's
And only a grade A arsehole would ever, ever tell someone of a good heart that they did a bad thing by trying to help someone else.

The fault lies not with anyone here or on DKos who tried to do the right thing. It lies with that part of human nature that doesn't take kindly to seeing it's own vulnerabilities writ large for everyone to see.

I think that the people who tried to help Buffy did so from a pure heart. Again, only a Grade A arsehole would ever condemn that.
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WildEyedLiberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:10 PM
Response to Original message
4. Well, unless I missed something, I'd be pissed if I were her too
That diary is pretty snarky. Unless she posted a nasty diary before this calling everyone out and then deleted it (they mention a deleted diary by her)?

Shit, I feel stupid for bothering people about it now. Why would she post such an obvious cry for help - saying no one would miss her, etc - if she was just going to lash out when they did exhibit concern?

I guess the actions of mentally disturbed people aren't supposed to make sense.
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beachmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Oct-24-06 06:22 AM
Response to Reply #4
5. I think that's exactly what happened -- she wrote a diary which
she then promptly deleted, and it sounds like it was nasty. Why else would SusanG, who is normally rather mild mathered, demand Buffy take some responsibility for the whole mess.

But I'm not going to be mad at Buffy -- she isn't well, and it's that illness talking. If I may offer you some compassion, you were only doing the right thing. I still say that diary Exhaustion was a cry out for help.
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