I Would Like To Thank God

[Beetwasher]

For deeming me to be more worthy of his attention than other people. Obviously, he loves me more than most other people on the planet as is evidenced by the fact that I live better than most of them. He answers my prayers for health, happiness and success and ignores their prayers, so I must be special. Obviously, god must not like those innocent Iraqi's very much, for example, because he does not protect them. Thank you lord for answering my most inane prayers and paying attention to my most frivolous needs instead of making life better for the billions of other unfortunate people on the planet. I thank you for ignoring their prayers for such silly things as staying alive, finding something to eat, shelter, warmth etc. and paying attention to me instead and answering my prayers for a flatscreen TV.

"Oh lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz..."

Thank you jesus! I love you for your capriciousness!

[Jokerman]

1. "Prove that you love me and buy the next round"

"Oh lord won't you buy me a night on the town".

So YOU got a big screen TV? - Lord, why has thou forsaken me?


Excellent Post!

[Phentex]

6. I am not kidding you when I say

that as soon as I decided I was no longer a "believer" my life changed for the better in so many ways. I wasn't the kind of person who felt god had forsaken me or anything. I never felt like I could pray and ask for things. I DID question so many things...which lead to the unravelling and then damn, my life became so much more fulfilling. I don't need much more proof than that!

[jonnyblitz]

2. even if there WAS a god , why would anybody want to worship

such a vile asshole if what is happening in the world is his doing. IF he is so powerful he can control things why is he so fucking EVIL? oh yeah, i know, "he works in mysterious ways." whatever. Keep worshipping. :crazy:

sometimes i like ranting to the choir.

[Goblinmonger]

4. Well when the choir is as cool as we are,

who wouldn't like ranting to the choir.

[muriel_volestrangler]

11. Quote from Tennessee Williams:

"All your Western theologies, the whole mythology of them, are based on the concept of God as a senile delinquent."

Which I saw on Monday, in a series on the BBC "Jonathan Miller's Brief History of Disbelief".

[MindPilot]

3. You think you're so special; God answered my prayer in less than a minute

Yesterday I prayed for the traffic light to turn green and it DID! Clearly God likes me more. I'm his chosen one. So there!

[Goblinmonger]

5. Hey, I was on the cross street when you did that

I still do know why god forsook me and turned my light red.

[EvolveOrConvolve]

8. Hey screw you, I was in the cross walk

Thank you lord for the ruptured spleen and broken legs.

[Goblinmonger]

10. Get a car, pagen scum.

Why would someone walking think god would listen them. :crazy:

[EvolveOrConvolve]

12. You're just an automobile elitist

Thinking gawd only listens to the prayers of automobilians. How retarded is that??? :wtf:

My feelings are hurt because of your obvious bias against walkers, and I'm telling. Stop persecuting me!

[funflower]

7. Bwahahaha!

:rofl:

[onager]

9. Hey, which one do I thank?

(BTW, this thread is a most appropriate response to that bit of inanity over in R&T. Thanks!)

:hide:

Anyhow, even as a card-carrying Grumpy Belligerent Atheist, I have to admit this was an amazing day for me.

I spent most of it walking around Alexandria. We're all breathing easier that we got thru yesterday with no riots or parts of the city going up in flames. That was the last day of Ramadan, and given the recent battles between the Muslims and Coptic Xians, we were all ready for the worst.

So do I give the credit to Allah or Jehovah?

Today is the first day of the big Muslim feast, Eid al-Fitr, so everyone was in a good mood.

The little park beside my hotel was full of happy people and the weather was just break-your-heart gorgeous. Exotic Ay-rab music was blasting, street vendors were hawking great food. Donkey and horse rides for the little kiddies, along with a couple of carnival-type rides as well.

A couple of little girls came up and started talking to me in semi-English. Then one of them, I guess, went off to tell all her friends about the Goofy American.

Pretty soon I was surrounded by about 20 little girls, all yelling questions at the same time in Arab-lish.

Interesting bunch. One of best English speakers was clearly Muslim--she was wearing habib, the head-scarf. I'd guess she was about 11 years old.

All this hubbub naturally brought one of the Parental Units over. Extremely nice Muslim lady, but unfortunately she didn't speak any English at all.

Anyhow, we all coped just like our ancestors did the first time they ran into foreigners. Lots of pointing and trying to comprehend the other person's names of stuff.

Later on the same thing happened when I walked down the beach, and stopped for a minute to enjoy the view. Ended up sort-of "talking" to a huge bunch of local folks, who ranged from elderly down to toddlers.

A great cultural experience, overall.