Summit at Hampton U. to promote marriage

[Number23]

Summit in Virginia to promote marriage

Hampton University will open a marriage summit Tuesday in Virginia, bringing together religious leaders, psychologists, public health workers and other specialists to discuss the state of marriage and talk about how to reverse trends such as high divorce rates and out-of-wedlock births.

Organizers say they've gathered a diverse group of more than 100 religious leaders, psychologists and other counseling professionals, public health workers and others affiliated with groups that range from the conservative Focus on the Family to the Omega Psi Phi black fraternity. Mr. Dungy and Truett Cathy aren't expected to attend.

W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, said the conference is timely because of American society's ever-widening marriage gap that largely runs along racial and socioeconomic lines. Blacks and people of all races who lack college degrees have much higher rates of divorce and unmarried childbearing than white, college-educated people, said Mr. Wilcox, who isn't connected with the Hampton conference.

Money Quote: "The figures are of concern because children born to single mothers generally are at higher risk of health, social and economic difficulties."

Thoughts guys? I'm torn here. On one hand, I completely understand the significance and the benefits to children born in two parent households. On the other, as a child who grew up in a single parent household and who did not become a crackhead teenaged mom the way so many act as though children brought up in single parent households are just DESTINED to become, I think the focus should be on HEALTHY families, not necessarily two parent ones.

[Fire1]

1. The support system for single parents is not what it used to be

for one thing. Big Momma, the matriarch, does not exist. Grandparents, now days are as young as 35 yrs. of age and still on the party and social dating circuit. Great grandparents are MY age and still working. The elderly who end up being the primary care givers in many cases, do so to keep the children out of foster care but have absolutely NO control and are given no respect. Ultimately, these kids end up in the system or on the street anyway. It is a different day with different values and with the exposure children have today, I think two parents involved in their lives is almost essential to their well being. The parents don't necessarily have to be married, per se, to be active participants in their children's lives, but involvement is absolutely essential in today's world. Just my perspective.

[Number23]

2. The black community is stil full of Big Mamas

Big Mama ain't going nowhere. But I take your point and do agree that there are too many people having kids so that someone will "love them back" instead of realizing the immense financial and emotional responsibility that children can be. And far too many of those kids are black and other minorities.

I know that you're a teacher and I have tremendous respect for what you're saying as a result. You probably have seen far more (and alot worse) than I could even imagine. But I can't help but think that things are not as bleak as they appear to be. The conventional thinking has always been that that two parents are "essential to a child's well being" as they should be. There is no question that having two loving, nurturing parents is the ideal for every child. And yet, many millions of kids have turned out okay without the traditional two parent system and I worry that many of those children are feeling "less than" as a result. It is a feeling that never goes away.

[Fire1]

3. I can empathize. I am the product of divorce during a time

in our culture when divorce was a stigma. Back in the day, couples stayed together come hell or high water. Some had problems but stayed together for the sake of the children, but most were content. My father was not as involved in parenting as he could have been but I succeeded in spite of his failures, as many of us did. I divorced my son's father when he was very young and despite the fact that his father had joint custody and much more of an active participant in his life than mine, it still took a toll on my son. I think it's because of the father/son bonding thing. My ex has some very backward ideas about raising children that I attribute to the way he was raised by uneducated backward parents who came north from the deep deep south. As my son has grown older he is able now to understand his father's deficiencies and loves him in spite of them.

I am hopeful that things are not as bleak as they appear. But when you see and hear of the turmoil in the lives of these children you can't help but get a feeling of despair. I have to disagree about the matriarch known as Big Momma. Big Momma was the result of the extended family all living under one roof. As we became increasingly educated and self-sufficient as a result of the Civil Rights movement, families gradually moved away from the "family" home to establish homesteads of their own. The migration north left Big Momma, in many cases, with an empty nest and siblings and their children returning only for holidays, reunions, illness or death. When you consider the ages of the parents, grandparents and great grandparents you'll see how the demise of Big Momma evolved.

[Number23]

5. Yeah, but the vast majority of black people live in the Southeast

So the black migration north that occurred 60 years ago has been reversed to a large extent and will continue to as more time passes. More blacks live in the southeast than in any other part of America. The trend towards Big Mama's return may not be as bleak as it appears.

My own great-grandmother lived right up the street from my grandmother when I was a teenager in the 80's. She lived in a big house in Macon, GA up until my grandmother decided she couldn't live by herself anymore and moved her literally two houses up from her until she was put in a nursing home. My grandparents played a massive, tremendous role in my life. I've posted before about my grandmother always correcting my grammar and my grandfather being the best man I've ever known in my life and the trials and tribulations he endured as a black man living in America.

Even now, my grandmother plays a HUGE role in my teenaged cousins lives and in my own, even though I'm grown and on the other side of the world. In fact, I swear she is constantly telling me of stories about people she knows that her age or close who are actually RAISING their grandchildren themselves. Yes, there are many grandparents who are empty nesters, but I have to wonder about the ones who are forced to raise their grandchildren themselves out of necessity. I can't imagine how much joy and pain that must bring simultaneously.

[Fire1]

7. Yeah, I made reference to those grandparents forced into

that situation and more often than not, it's very difficult. The trend of which we speak is more prevalent NOW than ever before for the very reasons I described. As of 2007, New York led the nation with the heaviest concentration of AA at 3.5 million with Mississippi following closely behind. Among the 17 other states with the heaviest concentration would be northern states such as Ohio, Michigan, Illinois, Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Of course, you can't leave out California in the west and 56% in D.C.

Actually, AA have migrated through the years all over the U.S. with the heaviest concentration in the eastern parts of the country from north to south and vice versa, depending on the cost of living and availability of employment. Right now, I am reminded of several parents who packed up the kids and moved to Georgia to "do hair," only to return a few months later due to the lack of employment. That was between 2006 and 2007, when Georgia had a healthy increase of about 31% followed by Texas, Florida and North Carolina. The migration trend, I suspect will continue up and down the east coast and the mid-west but I don't see AA making a mass exodus to the south ever again.

[Number23]

8. The numbers

I just checked the latest census, and the numbers I saw (which were from 2004) shows more blacks living in the South than in any other region. http://www.census.gov/population/socdemo/race/black/ppl-186/tab21.html According to this data, more than 19 million out of 36 million blacks -- more than half of black America -- lives in the South alone. Now, it's entirely possible that some migration has occurred between 2004 and now, but I don't see how it could be all that radical.

And NY may have in terms of sheer numbers more blacks, but 3.3 million out of 19 million (http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/QTTable?-ds_name=PEP_2006_EST&-qr_name=PEP_2006_EST_DP1&-geo_id=04000US36) compared with Georgia's 2.8 million out of 9 million (http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/QTTable?-ds_name=PEP_2006_EST&-qr_name=PEP_2006_EST_DP1&-geo_id=04000US13) and Missisippi's 1 million out of almost 3 million (http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/QTTable?-ds_name=PEP_2006_EST&-qr_name=PEP_2006_EST_DP1&-geo_id=04000US28) means black folks in southern states have a hell of alot more power in their numbers, in certain areas anyway. Southern states have more black colleges and more black politicians than any other area. In fact, NY's numbers show a rather astounding DEARTH of black folks which I would never have guessed.

I remember several years ago Sixty Minutes actually did a story on the massive numbers of black folks moving back to the South. Most of those folks were from Detroit, Indiana, NY, California etc. and said that they would never move back to their respective areas again. I think as long as the South continues to lead the nation in cheap housing that many blacks will continue to move there, albeit to black friendly/urban areas only like Atlanta, Nashville, Raleigh NC etc. The rest of the South will continue to wither and die without the much needed influx of communities of color.

P.S. Thanks for giving me an excuse to do a bit of research on this. I enjoyed it!

ETA: I found the Sixty Minutes piece. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/06/12/60minutes/main558375.shtml It's from 2003, light years before the global economic crisis but I think it still tells a great story.

[Fire1]

9. Your data is from 2004. Try the latest census in 2007. Marked

difference.

[Number23]

10. Perhaps you'd be able to provide some links?

And what trauma occurred to have convinced you that there is a "marked" difference between the 2004 and 2007 data?? What I'm seeing, from 2007, bolsters what I've been saying. This map shows the highest concentration of the black population in this country. It ain't California or NY.

http://factfinder.census.gov/servlet/ThematicMapFramesetServlet?_bm=y&-geo_id=01000US&-tm_name=ACS_2007_3YR_G00_M00628&-ds_name=ACS_2007_3YR_G00_&-_MapEvent=displayBy&-_dBy=040

The states with the highest black populations in this country are: DC, Alabama, GA, LA, MD, MS, NC, SC. If you're seeing something else, I'd love to see it too.

In fact, the region of the US commonly referred to as the "Black Belt" because of its significantly higher than normal black population is comprised of only Southern states, going up from Delaware out to Texas. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Belt_(U.S._region)

[Fire1]

11. LOL!!! Girl, just google it and you'll see what I'm talking about.

[Number23]

12. Done all the googling I'm gone do.

What I've found totally supports and backs up what I've said and been saying. Good enough for me.

[noiretextatique]

4. the problem is: how are they going to get the message out?

since none of the attendees probably need to hear the message. sort of like cosby's railing against poor black people in front of an audiences of doctors and lawyers. however, i am sure they have plans to get the message to the audience.

[Number23]

6. Well, one can only hope

The summit is a good first step, even though as I said I think that the emphasis should be put on healthy families not necessarily two parent ones. Cosby's railings made the front page of every paper because then white folks could say "see?? We're not the only ones who think that poor black people are lazy and trifling. Bill Cosby thinks so too!" :eyes:

If someone is controversial enough at this summit and rails against black folks enough, you know it'll be in allll of the papers.