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(I was going to type this in Wordpad to spellcheck, but it's giving me some pop-up message which I have no way of reading. Hopefully not too many typos.)
I've just woken up from a long sleep. I had a sleep disorder episode and finally was able to get some OTC Unisom stuff to sleep. Lots of dreams. This was was preceeded by other dreams of highways and trips and other people, not fresh in memory.
It began by driving into te town where we lived from the time I was four until 6th grade. I dream about this town frequently. This particular dream has given me a new hypothesis about that.
Driving in on the highway, things have changed quite a bit. There are three train trestles to drive under. At first, due to the hills, it isn't apparent that they are OVER the road, but that's the case. I park and enter an old stone building, built like the old bank building. On an upper floor, I'm there to update my memory or brain. Part of the former dream was that I was going to help my son update his computer. Also in that dream, I was arguing with a woman and she was saying some mean things. So, I had just sat down and told her and everyone there that I had a 'mental issue'. I repeated it like three times, and made no other excuses. So, here I was to get updates for my mental/brain/memory.
The updates involved checking off the applicable updates from a microflim thing, four at a time. Those were the only things in my field of vision in the dream. There was nothing I understood about the updates, just a string of numbers and letters. I got error messages and had to redo a couple of them. Very sloppy feeling. But got it done. Then I didn't remember when I had parked my car other than it had been near the third and last train trestle. I decided to walk through the building to the approximate right area, but when I emerged, I was much further back on the highway and in fact could not even see the first of the trestles on the road. I went inside the building, which was much run down. It seemed to be the kitchen area of the bank building. I recognized the woman there, had known her well. I was struck by her nice hair. Her sleeves were rolled up and she had been washing dishes. I asked if she culd help me find my car. But by that time, I was more interested in letting her know that she could have a much better job (as I knew she had). She told me that wasn't possible. She was happy and satisfied but maintained that she and her assistant had always only known "manual labor" and that's all there was to it.
I decided at this point to 'sexit without saving', as you do with a computer game, and re-do the updates. When I reloaded, I would park in front of the building since I now knew where it was. When I re-loaded (the game) I had already passed the trestles; but I was able to choose the correct updates on the first try and load them successfully and without glitches. Then I woke up.
I lay there half asleep for some time thinking about this. The woman in the dream who didn't remember who she was seemed to be someone I know from that time period. I've known her a long time, obviously, and she has played a major role in my life several times through the years. In fact, she was the first person I ever worked for. Not too long ago, I dreamed about the drug store that was in the same town. I loved that store. It was old fashioned with a soada/food counter area (and boothes). I have a few vivid memories of the store. The connection I made to that and this dream might be this: During the time that we lived in the town, my dad took a trip to Japan. My mom, sister and I took him to the airport. We were all crying. This seems odd to me now. I sense that my mom was much more upset than 'normal'. Knowing what I do now, I would guess that my parents had been fighting. I think as young girls, my sister and I picked up on the grief which really had very little to do with my dad taking a trip. He travelled plenty of times and it was never a big deal. My mother took that ocassion to buy us some small stuffed animals, probably from the gift shop at the airport, though it is mixed up in memory because it was while he was away on that trip that she also bought my first powder compact from that drug store. I was too young to wear makeup, and I promised I wouldnt', but I wanted that powder so badly! Now, after this dream, I'm picking up on some vibe that I was totally mystified at the time, wondering how being bought favorts had anything at all to do with sadness at missing my daddy! I think I got some 'bad programming' that buying stuff was a suitable replacement for sad feelings. How can a child ever learn how to be truly happy when the programming is so screwed up? I wonder if the dream has really re-programmed my ability to experience true happiness. Wouldn't that be great!
SORRY for sypos. I HATE them. I can run spell check and see highlighted words, but have no way to know what to do with them. x(
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