I just got smudged, and am vaguely insulted.

[amitten]

My roommate met a guy the other night, and he hasn't called her back again yet.

A little bit ago, she went through and smudged the house, and asked if she could smudge around me. (!) I said sure, but gave her a look and said, "I don't have any negativity around me." To which she replied, "Oh, smudging is good for everything!" :shrug:

Now this girl is HEAVILY into feng-shui and she thinks your surroundings dictate everything that happens to you. She's probably thinking that something in the house, including me, is "blocking" this guy she likes from calling her again. I find this strangely offensive.

I want her to be happy and have a boyfriend, and that is all I ever feel about that subject. I refuse to accept in any way that I am somehow responsible for her love life or lack thereof. If a guy likes her enough to call her again, I'm certain that he will...no matter the color of her room, the position of her bed, or the general vibe of her roommate. If she isn't hitting it off with someone, I feel that the problem lies with her and/or him...not a second party. What say you, DU'ers?

[SeattleGirl]

1. I agree with you, amitten.

Unless you took some type of direct action, I don't see how you could be "preventing" this guy from calling your roomie.

[amitten]

2. I know! And she didn't say it was me, yet I took the smudging as

an indication of what her underlying feelings may be.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive...wouldn't be the first time!

[crikkett]

11. be a duck

let it roll right off your back

... she's not that important to you, is she?

[amitten]

14. Everyone is important to me. n/t

[crikkett]

15. me too, but not such that they should be allowed to annoy me

with dumb lefthanded stuff like a snubsmudge.

[Morgana LaFey]

12. It has nothing to do with you and yet the smudging can only help

EVERYTHING.

Allow yourself to get smudged every chance you get. You can only benefit.

[amitten]

13. Well, I've just never been forcibly smudged before. I always

thought it was for the sick or overly negative...or for people being haunted by something.

Guess I shouldn't have taken offense, but I did a little.

[Morgana LaFey]

16. Forcibly smudged

Gotta be something akin to being forcibly showered with White or Pink Light.

I understand your objections. I'm a little intolerant of being forced into even good things myself.

No, smudging is for EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, any time, all the time. Many Native Americans smudge every single day, smudge everything they bring into their hosue, smudge their autos every day, etc., etc. It just helps keep the aura and general vibes squeeky clean. Think of it as vibrational personal hygiene. You take a bath everyday, you can also smudge every day (or even more often).

Try it sometime when you're able to pay attention to how you're feeling, and with an open and welcoming heart. I think you'll be AMAZED at the positive effect it has on you. You just feel cleaner, fresher, and usually slightly energized (or calmed if that's what you're needing more) afterwards. Wheeee!

[amitten]

17. Well, more like forcibly having a crucifix hung around my neck.

I felt it was kind of a comment on my 'need' to be 'purified'. Because the guy she likes hasn't been calling her (this is what prompted it).

But I understand what you're saying, and I do think smudging is a good thing.

[BlueIris]

3. I'm feeling you on this one, mitten.

It's not about the flow around you or in the house. You should tell her that maybe, ahem, he's just not that into her.

I'm going to hell.

[lildreamer316]

4. How annoying.

I mean, one tries to give benefit of doubt and be understanding despite said irritation, but hell.
That would just annoy me, too.
Take a big sigh and try to remember that she is just feeling insecure. I know it's hard to have patience sometimes....believe me. (meow hiss! says the Leo...until she purrs five min. later..)
On second read she is giving too much power away to things outside herself; for probably more than one reason.
Maybe a reminder that everything (EVERYTHING) is energy? I dunno.
Best of luck...

[amitten]

8. Yes, my Leo sensibilities were offended. Like, how can she

think that I'M somehow affecting her love life (and I KNOW that's what she's concerned about). If anything, I'm a positive influence! I want her to be happy and I think good thoughts.

Well, she is an Aries, which means she's unusually impatient and boy-crazy. :eyes:

You can't force someone to like you, and you can't smudge it into existence, either!

[Why Syzygy]

5. Sorry you feel that way.

I have smudged many people and it wasn't due to believing they had negative energies, although they are around. My intention was to purify them and open gates for blessings and tune them in. If someone said they did not want to be smudged, I would not do it. It's up to you to let her know you have your own rituals (if you do) and appreciate the offer, but no thanks. Depending on your relationship, maybe offer her a tailsman to help with her focus on attracting a boyfriend (like a feather, a gemstone, a wish rock... anything).

Personally, I wish I had a feng shui roommate. Save me the trouble of figuring it all out. I do want my place to have good chi flow. I recently read that a woman who was having trouble finding a boyfriend was told that they were escaping out a certain window. She hung a crystal in that window.

While I say that it is up to you to let her know your feelings, of course I realize that if she is blaming you in any way for her life, that is lame. She should know better.

[Sweet Freedom]

6. I think the window problem was my mom's

I posted how someone told my mom that all the men in her life were going out the window, so she put a beautiful crystal bowl on the sill to "catch" them. She had so many men in her life after that, she got rid of the bowl!

[Why Syzygy]

7. LOL!

Yes. That was it. Made me wonder which way mine are going :D

[MorningGlow]

9. I wouldn't worry about it

When I do a smudging, I do everything within my four walls as well (and outside the four walls, come to think of it)--that includes DH and MG Jr. Even if you ensure that you have no negativity, something might have attached itself to you or one of your belongings without your noticing.

Anyway, don't take it personally. Think of it as your roommate starting with a totally clean slate. :hi:

[amitten]

10. I'm trying to think of it that way. I don't want someone else to feel

that I'm in any way interfering with their good fortune.