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Life Support Newsletter: "A-B-C Method of Managing Attitudes"

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I Have A Dream Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-06-06 05:43 PM
Original message
Life Support Newsletter: "A-B-C Method of Managing Attitudes"
(I'm including the entire message because the newsletter contains the following: "Feel free to use articles you enjoy on your favorite
blogs. And thanks for mentioning, too!")


As an airport skycap checked through a customer at curbside, he
accidentally knocked over the man's luggage. He quickly collected the
fallen bags and apologized for the mishap. Unappeased, the traveler
burst into an angry tirade, raging and swearing at the skycap for his
clumsiness. Throughout the traveler's rant, the baggage handler
simply apologized and smiled. The angry man continued to berate the
skycap, until he finally headed off to catch his plane. Even then the
baggage handler remained calm and passively smiled.

The next customer in line witnessed the incident and marveled at the
skycap's professionalism and control. "I have never seen such
restraint and humility," he said. "How do you keep your cool when
somebody is attacking you so viciously?"

"It's easy," the skycap answered. "He's going to Denver, but his bags
are going to Detroit."

That is certainly ONE way of managing attitudes, but here is a more
constructive approach.

Have you heard of the A-B-C method of managing your attitude? It's
simple and effective.

"A" stands for the "Activating Event." Let's say you get stuck in
traffic. The traffic jam is the activating event.

"B" stands for your "Belief System." You believe that traffic is only
getting worse and you'll have more and more days like this ahead.

"C" stands for the "Consequence of the Event." You become angry. You
want to honk your horn. Your stomach is tied in knots and you bang
the dashboard with your fist.

The problem is...most people jump directly from "A" to "C." They get
stuck in traffic and become angry. They think the traffic jam made
them upset. They don't realize that they didn't HAVE to get angry.
They skipped an important step!

Let's try it again:

"A" - you get stuck in traffic.

"B" - you believe that you were given some unexpected and extra time
to spend in solitude, to listen to a great tape or to plan your day.

"C" - the consequence is that you feel gratitude for the gift of

I have a friend who is fond of saying, "A traffic jam has no power to
make us angry. It just stops our car." He is aware that between the
activating event and the consequence is something that we control:
our beliefs about what is happening.

The next time you have a problem -- at home or at work, big or
small -- decide to manage your attitude toward it. Practice the A-B-C
method. You probably can't change "A," the activating event. But try
changing "B," your beliefs about the problem. When you change your
beliefs, you also change "C," the consequences of the situation.

It's as simple as A-B-C. Manage your beliefs, and you'll manage to be
a lot happier!

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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-06-06 06:30 PM
Response to Original message
1. Beautiful!
Bookmarked and saved as a word document! :)

Thanks for this!

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Why Syzygy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Dec-06-06 11:42 PM
Response to Original message
2. This was something
some couselors taught 10 years ago, which was pioneered before that by Albert Ellis. A cognitive way to change emotions. It is very helpful to pinpoint where the emotions become irrational. It cleared the path for me on several irrational beliefs. Nice.
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