I want to post this message to GD but don't think I'll get a good reaction

[oxbow]

I had a dream last night where I was running around entertaining kids (I want to work with children). Just running back and forth, singing and dancing up a storm. Finally, everybody was gone and I took out the video that had the singing music on it from the VCR. The TV went to white noise and I swear to God it was the loneliest sound I've ever heard. I just sat there listening to it and watching the ocean outside the house in sadness until I woke up.

What the dream meant for me was to take care of yourself before you try to make other people's lives happy. Or atleast to hold yourself first above all others. And I don't know, I feel like so many activists have this problem. They care very deeply about the world and want to right the wrongs and help the suffering. And on the flipside, they care so little about themselves, and do the work sometimes to convince themselves that they're a good person, rather than from the conviction that they are a good person. Atleast, that's what I did in my old life.

And I know that any work that's done from a place of self-doubt and self-loathing can easily lead to pettiness and disillusionment. There was an article they were discussing in GD last week about how conservatives are happier than liberals, and I believe it. Conservatives live in a world of easy decisions, a one size fits all place of pre-processed, easily digestable spirituality. I get the image of McDonalds food thinking about it just now.

Liberalism is hard though! We have to break off from the safety of the patriarchical religions, the security of having "all the answers." We know that nobody else can give us the answers. And many of us on this side of the aisle have to walk through much darkness, loneliness and confusion before we can find God again. It's a hard thing to face, and I don't like seeing people unhappy (maybe that's that old part of me talking again).

Either way, I feel that atleast some people on the board would benefit from loving themselves a little more before running out to save the world. I think that some in GD may see it as an attack though. And also, this is no time to let up on the administration. They are on the ropes and even though the dems and the media are not giving them any heat, the american public is getting pretty sick and tired of em. As you can see, I'm of two minds about sharing this with the rest of the board, and I just wanted to see what y'all think.

Maybe even a quick message asking them if they remembered "to love themselves this morning before going out and saving the world" would do some good?

[I Have A Dream]

1. I totally agree with you about the importance of taking care of...

ourselves, oxbow. Many people think that it's selfish to do things for themselves and that it's not part of the spiritual path. To me, you can't give what you don't have. I've mentioned this analogy in another post in this group, but one of my spiritual teachers says that taking care of ourselves is equivalent to the adult putting on his/her oxygen mask before putting on the child's; the adult won't be able to help the child if he/she passes out from a lack of oxygen.

Also, it is a good thing when we're happy. We should do things that make us happy, bring us joy and feed our souls; otherwise, we're running on empty and can't do the work in the world that we're here to do.

[oxbow]

2. My #1 goal right now is personal happiness

Now that my heart is open, I'm trying most of all to give it what it wants. After so long a separation, I owe myself atleast that much. I have to have faith that taking care of myself will result in good things for others.

I've seen that to some degree already. Both of my cats, and all the members of my family have been acting differently since I started healing. Old negative patterns are being broken, and everybody seems to be doing better. My cats in particular have undergone some deep healing. They sleep in my room almost every night though, so it's not surprising that they're soaking up some of that energy. They're completely different animals now!

Right now, my philosophy is "heal yourself, heal the world." That and "trust in God."

[FreedomAngel82]

10. Good advice

I'll have to start doing that. I too get into the thinking that when I do something nice for myself I do feel guilty but I've been working on getting better at that. :blush: Things are so much brighter in deed.

[Delphinus]

3. Hi oxbow,

I think this is a good thing: Maybe even a quick message asking them if they remembered "to love themselves this morning before going out and saving the world" would do some good?

Do it - perhaps in the DU Lounge if you feel General Discussion would dismiss it.

This is one of the hardest lessons I've had to learn. We can't bring peace to the world unless it is in our own hearts first. I get tired of trying to explain to my family and some of my friends why I have such a need for alone time. That's my center - that's my point of peace. When I have that, then I can radiate peace and love and healing. Without it, I'm grappling with the issues instead of flowing with them.

[shanti]

13. are you a water sign?

:)

[Delphinus]

14. Why, yes I am.

What gave me away? :)

[shanti]

15. i guess i'm just psychic that way

:D....from one water sign to another.

ps-i'm like you too. i MUST have my alone time to recharge, and get grouchy without it.

[LaurenG]

4. I love this post and the conclusions you come to

I agree. Everyone needs to do this. I know this like I know my name. The only beings who do not need to hear this have already evolved beyond the physical realms.

As far as sharing it outside just know that those who fight you the hardest will be the ones who need it the most. If you get any grief try not to take anything personally as it's their own selves they really don't like. :) :hug:

[oxbow]

5. ok I did it

In slightly expanded form:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x529330

hoping for the best...

[DemExpat]

7. Very well done, oxbow.....

looks very good so far with a couple of snickers in some posts....:eyes:

:hi:

DemEx

[I Have A Dream]

8. Wow -- look at all of the nominations for the greatest page!

:)

Well done, sir!

[Cleita]

6. You don't have to beat yourself up trying to follow your

conscious. Sometimes you have to stand aside and let others do the heavy lifting when you are unable to. You need to take care of yourself, yes, but doing the right thing within your capabilities is what you are called on to do, nothing more.

[LaurenG]

9. I am not sure if you know WillPitt

but he got on there and kicked and nominated too. Great job. It gives me a "happy heart" as my son used to say.

[oxbow]

11. Thanks y'all. It's been a long day, and this gives me a "happy heart" too

:)

[oxbow]

12. On a whim, I went over to the "website that shall not be named" today

They're talking about my post! They called it a real kumba ya moment.
It should bother me but for some reason its making me really happy. Maybe you know you're on the right path when you're getting a rise out of those guys. Plus now I feel like a celebrity y'all! ;)

[I Have A Dream]

16. And to think that we knew you when.

;)

I strongly suspect that most of the people at that site can't handle emotion or expressing feelings, so, of course, they're going to belittle your post which is so full of Spirit, Light and Love.

Congratulations on jumping in the deep end, oxbow!

:hug:

[oxbow]

18. It's OK, I used to be that way myself

well, not exactly, but I did think that all this letting go of emotional stuff, healing the inner child, etc. was a bunch of crap. That was before I began actually feeling my emotions. Now I see that it's not some cheezy New Age crap, it's the way the human body functions. You either accept it and work through the emotions or continue repressing them and reap the emotional, physical and spiritual effects of that way.

I was so blocked up that it amazes me that I felt anything at all. And while I'm not through the woods yet, I have been richly rewarded already for choosing this path. I am becoming exactly who I want to be, and that is the greatest blessing I can imagine.


:hug:<--right back at ya!

[I Have A Dream]

19. It's hard to believe that you were ever that way, oxbow.

I'm really impressed that you've been able to make so many changes in your life and in the way that you approach life.

[oxbow]

20. Thanks...yea, I used to spend most of my time in my head

didn't really feel anything but sadness...now that I understand why I ran away from my body and emotions like that, I have been able to begin healing.
Reading over my old writings and political essays, I can now see a steady rise of my emotional muscles and a balancing out of my intellectual abilities. The last 3 months in particular though have been a quantum leap in terms of becoming more balanced/integrated. I'm excited to see how I will feel after a few more months of this :)

[MissWaverly]

17. Look, I had the childhood from hell

anyone who took advantage of you are just a few people, chances are you would not even
want to share a parking space with them. Don't let them have a parking space in your
head. You were not a bad kid, you are a nice person. You do not have to hate yourself
or punish yourself for what happened. Whatever age you were, go get a movie with kids that age and think that's how young I was, I was just a little bunnyhead, I could not have changed the way the adults acted. The grown ups were responsible, you can sit down and write them a letter and tell them just how stupid they were. Then rip it up and let it go.
You are smarter than those people and you can still outsmart them by enjoying life and buying into the positive.