I think I need some light

[oxbow]

It seems like the more work I do on myself, the more hysterical my mind gets. I think the hysteria started when all this repressed stuff about my childhood was trying to come out, but I didn't know what it was. So I became afraid of everything, because it seemed like everything was making me afraid.

Now that I know, my body and my higher self are calm, but my mind is still chaotic, and its really sucking energy from everything else to handle it. I've tried not giving those fears any power, but directing that power to hope, love, etc. I've tried facing the fears head on and letting them pass through me. It just keeps coming though.

Right now I've just asked for my mind to be numb for a bit. Can you guys send any light my way? I could really use a boost.

Thank you in advance and peace to all of you.

ox

[Proud_Lefty]

1. I'm far from an expert on repressed emotions

But it seems that your mind is running wild for a reason. Trying to turn it off when it has to communicate with you might be what's taking all your good energy. Can you focus or meditate on what it is that your mind is desperately trying to tell you? (Keep in mind that answering this question can take days, weeks or even months.) Many times in our society, we're told we need to do standard things when in reality, our whole reason for being here might be something completely unique, requiring a whole different process that no one else can ever comprehend. Once you're in tune with your own destination and you're on the right road, things fall into place so much easier.

[jokerman93]

5. What a wonderful post n/t

[MissWaverly]

10. I don't know if that is a good idea

there are memories I have of traumatic events from when I was a kid where the memory just
ends and for that I am grateful. If it brings you peace by wrestling with your demons
then go for it. But I keep that cupboard locked myself.

[jokerman93]

11. sorry to hear

Sorry to hear about your trauma. No child deserves to be mistreated.

[MissWaverly]

12. Thanks for the kind thoughts

You are quite right, I think that's what made me care about the world so in that way it
was good.

:-)

[Proud_Lefty]

15. I'm sorry too

And you know as far as your situation is concerned, it's best to move on. I've just run into people lately who actually have tremendous gifts and have been convinced by our society to suppress them. As they are now starting to understand and even accept these gifts, they feel freedom. Obviously, yours isn't a gift and shouldn't be embraced. But I'm glad you made a positive out of it.

[MissWaverly]

16. that's what I was trying to say

for some a memory might bring back some precious part of that person that was lost,
I remember a women who had lost her sight saying that the memory of seeing her granny's roses was a precious one but my parents have been described by my friends as someone
out of a Stephen King novel so you get the picture. That's why you shouldn't try to
open the cupboard unless you have an idea of what's inside, might be roses or could
be unbearable heart break.

[BlueIris]

2. Sending lots of light to you.

Continued best of luck with your everything.

[japple]

3. Bach's Rescue Remedy might help, and look at their formulas

for dealing with issues from the past. And ask your higher consciousness to help you deal with these issues in a way that is more helpful, such as images in your dreams. Ask the god and the angels to comfort you and help you face what you need to and to leave the rest behind. They are ready and willing to help you. So are we. Hugs and peace to you ox.

[oxbow]

4. Thank you all, I feel better already!

I'll give remedies a try too. I just called wholefoods and they have em.

I have to learn to deal with pain, mortality, grief, and my own limitations before all this will be through. Today though, I will rest. I have worked long and come far, so I will try and just be now.

Thank you, my DU angels. You deserve blessings greater than I have the power to describe, much less give you. :pals:

[MissWaverly]

14. For what it is worth

I believe that there is such a thing as grace try and open yourself to the positive, good
things, things that nurture you. That is hard to do if you have been abused but there
is much good, try and open your eyes to it. Also try and work on your warning bell, sometimes you may tolerate negative experiences because they are familiar. Be more
discriminating, I am speaking from experience.

Wish you much light and happiness.

[NMDemDist2]

6. for what it's worth

when I was working through deep pain and anger, in my meditations as the feelings came up I would just name them "anger, anger, fear, pain, pain..."

after a few weeks I wasn't afraid of the feelings anymore, I didn't have to try to run away or "manage" them, they were just parts of me that were known and familiar

it was then I was able to start releasing the pain and fear

:hug:

[tanyev]

7. I lit a virtual candle for you.

Now go light some yourself. It's a wonderful website.

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/exit.cfm?l=ENG&s=s&cid=1187046

[bliss_eternal]

8. I just wanted to offer you this--

:hug: :pals: Sending you much light and love on your journey of discovery and healing.

[Desertrose]

9. Your art is beautiful oxbow

I couldn't get your link to work the other day, but had better luck just now. I like your style. You've got some powerful pieces there.

Reminded me for some reason of the Wingmakers....ever hear of them? The story is pretty amazing and I find the information fascinating.

Heres a link tsome of their art found at the site.

They also have incredible poetry."Circle" is one of my favorites.

They have music from there too. I found this site about 7 or 8 years ago and it not as commercialized at it seems to be these days....but still quite interesting.

It can be tough being an artist..we seem to scoop up everything arounds us- positive and not so positive and then have to somehow deal with it all.( Don't forget you can ask you angels/guides for help. Wouldn't have made it this far without mine.)

Anyhow....just wanted to send you a :hug: and share the Wingmakers with you.
peace & light
DR

[oxbow]

13. Thank you all. And yes, Rose, I just heard about the wingmakers!

From someone at my gallery opening, no less! While I haven't gotten very deep into the story behind their efforts yet, their Art and music does have a real appeal to me. From reading around, it seems like there are so many beings who have designs for transforming earth/humanity in the coming years. Between Wingmakers, the Starchild ascension website, and others I've been to in the past few weeks, it's hard to know exactly what is happening. One thing is clear though: everyone seems to feel that big changes are coming soon, and that we WILL have guidance through them.