Anyone here get a new pet soon after a much loved pet dies?

[oregonjen]

We recently lost our wonderful little dog due to a heart condition that took her very early. We only had her for 2 years. In my family, she was the center of attention and we loved her dearly.

Now that she is gone, there is this huge void and sadness. My children want another dog, but since we lost ours 2 weeks ago, I'm still grieving. I have looked, but so far, am not interested in bringing a new one in. Although, I was at a neighbor's today and enjoyed petting and cuddling their 2 dogs. I miss having a dog to cuddle and look after.

Anyone get a dog soon after losing one? Did it help?

[smurfygirl]

1. I'm sorry for your loss

Today marks two months since I lost my baby and I'm still so heartbroke I can hardly think of her without crying. I too wanted to get another dog but I can't bring myself to do it. Something inside of me won't let me do it. Perhaps a foster dog would be good for your family right now. It would free up a space at a no kill shelter and give you and the kids a furbaby to love until you all decide it's time. Regardless, just make sure everyone is done grieving.


In memory of my girl...Sheba Renee

[BrklynLiberal]

3. She was lovely...

:(

[oregonjen]

4. We have a chance to get a new puppy at the end of Sept.

I'm hoping that is long enough, to give us all time to grieve. It will be a totally different breed and sex. Although, I'm in love with the breed we had, but they have so many health problems, I'm scared to try again. Losing Gracie has been the most painful experience I've had to go through in a long time.

I'm sorry for your loss too. :hug:

[Lorien]

10. She was stunning

so sorry for your loss, smurfygirl. :hug:

[BrklynLiberal]

2. I had the most wonderful German Shepherd in the world for 10 1/2

years. Sasha died very suddenly and I was DEVASTATED!! I cried for 3 days straight. I thought that getting another dog would be a sign that I did not really care as much as I said I did about Sasha.
After about a month, a friend of mine who is a GSD breeder invited me up to her house to see some puppies that she had, and a one year old Shepherd that needed a home.
Needless to say, I came home with the one-year-old Shepherd. I have not regreted it for one moment. Boen has been Mommy's little boy ever since. He has been Jenna's big brother since she lost Sasha.
It does help to have another pup to love. It does not mean you loved your other dog any less, or that your grieving will be any less sincere.
But sometimes, when you are crying about the loss of your pup, it is so nice to have another furry neck to cry into. Furbabies are just 100% love and they are so appreciative of the love we give them that it is always worthwhile to have a dog in one's life.

The extra bonus is how wonderful it makes us feel.

I heartily recommend getting another dog. In fact, I recommend getting two.

This was Sasha...and his cats.


Boen and Jenna:


Boen and Cassie the cat that owns him.

[oregonjen]

5. I'm afraid of betraying Gracie's memory by getting one so soon

I'm glad to hear that your experience worked out beautifully. My neighbor just last year lost her German Shepard, named Sasha. She recently adopted a 6 month old German Shepard/Golden Retriever mix that needed a home. She doesn't regret in one bit. :)

[LiberalFighter]

7. Would you be betraying the memory if...

you took the collar and tags and place it in a window box of some type? If you put together an album of pictures?

Would it be a betrayal if as a result of Gracie's departure you take more time to enjoy a new addition to your family? If Gracie was able to communicate would she want you to be alone? Did Gracie enjoy being with other dogs?

[BrklynLiberal]

8. A memory album with Gracie's tags and collar is a wonderful idea. That

is exactly what I did for Sasha. It is very comforting to have the album and creating it helped thru the grieving process. I also have his ashes in a beautiful wooden box with his picture.

[WhoseMarie]

6. Bless her....and you!

I can so totally identify. I lost my Keoke (a 14 year old Amazon parrot that I hand-raised, was bonded to and she was my girl) almost a year ago. I remember the date and still can't even think of it without crying hysterically. She passed away suddenly, with no physical trauma, no disease, no clues - a year ago this coming weekend - 25 July, 2004. It was a huge shock. We had a necropsy done and nothing appeared to have been a cause. I feel psychically, tho, that it was a tiny blood clot in her brain...it would have never shown up in the necropsy. She was in perfect feather and in great spirit. There were no clues of illness and I've had birds all my life, so....I can spot problems.

I was in shock, totally heartbroken, and was totally unable to function for some time. This little gal was my baby and she left way too early - she should've lived to 80 - 120 years old! I'd been racked with guilt and somehow felt I was responsible even tho no one could find a reason.

I couldn't move forward...I was paralyzed. My husband finally decided that I needed a new baby - not that she could ever replace my Keoke but I needed another baby to give love to, so I could move forward.

We found a baby girl and she was with us in a month, and she's turned into the most amazing pet and family member. Her name is Sophie and she's a little angel and smart, and a lover. I'm glad we did it. I have to admit, I've ended up being very much the 'authoratarian' with her, 'cause I want her to be somewhat like my Keoke. She's a yellow-nape amazon as well. However I am always reminding myself that Sophie is Sophie and shouldn't be expected to be anyone else.

Keoke has helped me and is still here with me, in spirit. I know she's here and I miss holding her - but baby Sophie has been very healing for us.

For this reason, I truly recommend considering a new baby. They help to heal your heart and you start to fill the void with a new kind of love. It's healing. Period.

[salin]

9. Two answers

two dogs ago it was more than a year before we got a new dog. But along with the companion's (dog) death - we had a death in the family which through the illness prevented even thinking about getting another dog.

Our most recent beloved dog's death was in May - we learned of his serious illness a month before - but thought that we had more time with her before we lost her. She was wonderful - and we still mourn her.

Over the years we have looked in on pups (new litters) even when not seriously looking because there is something so wonderful about spending time in their curious and vestful of life dispositions - think of the visits as "comfort puppy visits" as some folks have comfort foods.

Less a month and a half after we lost our beloved family dog (she was 12) - we went for some puppy comfort - while NOT looking for a dog - and "met" the next family member. We were not looking to get a dog so quick - and had to take some time to make the decision (in just over a month since we lost our dog, it felt "soon.") It only took a few hours to "know." This was our dog.

I don't know that I would commit to getting a dog so quickly. Once you do that with your kids their expectations will go sky high. But perhaps you could start looking - and if you find a connection -then bring your kids in on it (to meet the possible new family member).

To the "did it help"? point. Absolutely - but there is a little bit of risidual guilt (as in the "how soon" question.)

[Lorien]

11. Not a dog, but a beloved cat

my kitty Peewee was the pet love of my life. I had strictly been a dog person before I was forced to help bottle feed Peewee when he was only two days old. He became very attached to me, and because he was small and sickly we could find no one else to adopt him. I took him home and we spent the next 15 years together. I've never had that kind of a bond with another animal, and losing him two years ago after a long bout with cardiomyopathy was one of the hardest experiences of my life. I would have put off getting another cat for a long while, but my remaining cat made it impossible. Miro had been "Peewee's pet",and he grieved for him as much as I did. He stopped eating, and would wander through the house howling for his best friend. I simply couldn't take it. A month after I had lost my beloved Wee, I brought home Oberon-who at three months was a bigger animal than Peewee had ever been. I still felt "guilt"over bringing home another animal so soon, and I even thought about returning him a few times-but he was just the tonic that my Miro needed. It WAS difficult having him here for the first month or two, but eventually he did really help me to move beyond my grief. I still miss Peewee terribly, but having new furkids around to take care of (and both Oberon and Puck are rather "needy" animals)is certainly better for my mental health (and Miro's) than an empty home.

Peewee:


Miro with Oberon:



I'm so sorry for your loss, Oregonjen. :hug:

[roguevalley]

12. Our Gretchen died after 22 years and it was so very terrible, we

went looking after a few days. We got three puppies, two of them are still with us and two more after that. From five to four now. The one who died is in my sig line with his brother.

They give you so much love and they make you better. Gretchen made me a better person and the love I could give our next boys was even bigger because of her. It wasn't a home without a dog. There is nothing like a dog. I am so sorry for you. I know how you feel but sometimes I think they call out to you to fill the hole and I know they don't mind.

[livetohike]

13. We lost our wonderful dog Ranger who was almost 16 years old

on Valentine's Day 2003. Three weeks later we brought home a "pound puppy" Cindy and a month later we brought home another shelter puppy "Murphy". We have lost several dogs during our 30 year marriage. Each dog is his/her own personality and we will never forget them. We have their ashes and lots of photos and memories. I feel that Ranger guided us to Cindy - we drove 90 miles one way to rescue her.

Cindy:


Murphy:

[ernstbass]

14. I've done it both ways

I have waited until I got over the worst of my grief and I have gotten another dog within weeks. If you get another dog, it won't stop your grief for your beloved dog but it does help fill the void. When I went out and adopted within weeks, I looked at it as if my recently departed dog was giving me the new dog to nurture and rescue - what better way to honor the departed dog. But by all means do what feels right for you and your family. so sorry for your loss.

[demnan]

15. I'm so sorry for your loss

I lost Howard, my beloved grey tabby, at the age of 16 around Thanksgiving and was heartbroken. I was not going to get another cat. Then one cold day three months later my father and I saw an orange cat crossing the street, and I told him I thought I'd like to have an orange kitty.

By coincidence? my brother showed up the next day with an adorable orange and white tabby kitten who needed a home.

What am I trying to say? Well it happens when you're ready. And you will know. Somehow you will get that pet when you're finally ready to turn the corner. It has always happened that way for me.

[auburngrad82]

16. There's two schools of thought on this

I work with a rescue organization and we frequently get people who have just lost a pet and within a week are looking to fill the void left by the pet. Just be aware that all pets are individuals and if you get a new pet, the new one is not going to be just like the old one. Many people get a new pet in short order only to be disappointed because the new one doesn't compare to the one they lost.

The other side of the coin is that many people need time to mourn the passing of their pet. They cannot conceive replacing their family member with another animal. Eventually they decide that there is a hole that needs to be filled and they get a new pet. But they do it in their time.

Do whatever feels right to you. There are many animals that need homes but if you aren't ready don't rush into adopting or purchasing a new animal because you may end up being disappointed.

I'm sorry for your loss. We have three 10 year old dogs and I'm not looking forward to the day when we have to say goodbye to any of them.

[calico1]

17. I am so sorry for you loss!

I too went through a similar experience. I lost my boy, Jack, a big, healthy (or so I thought) Rottie in January. It was sudden. Apparently he had a blood disease for some time but did such a good job of hiding it that we really didn't notice he was even sick until about one week before. He was only 3 1/2 and I was shocked. It was also the first time I saw my DH cry when we went to the vets to say goodbye before they put him down. I stayed with him and stroked his head and kissed him til it was over. I can't tell you the emptiness I felt. I had 5 cats at the time. Jack and my orange cat, Quincy were buds. Whenever we came home you could usually see Jack at the door. There is a side window so you would see him peeking at the top and Quincy right underneath him at the bottom. A few days after his death we went to a social event we had already responded to. It was all I could do to keep from bawling--it was still so raw. But I got through it and when we arrived home, there was Qunicy..all by himself looking out the door. Comforting but sad too.

One thing I found comforted me was to go to a site called rainbowbridge.com. You can "visit" the memorials to other pets that people have lost and you don't feel so alone. It least it helped me. A few days later, just because I had Jack on my mind, I looked up some Rottie rescue sites online. I found one, looked through the pictures and read the stories of animals that needed new homes. I kept coming back to one. She was here in CT, her name was Aja. Aja had been the center of attention of a couple's life. The woman became pregnant, had complications and the baby ended up being a preemie. And the woman kept having health problems. So between the baby and the mom being in the hospital, Aja went from being a princess to having next to no attention. They still took care of her but most of the attention was for the new baby. Aja was not eating well, she was losing hair and just very sad. I thought about it, but didn't say anything yet to DH because Jack had been mostly his boy and he was heartbroken. So one day we go to the mall for something and on the way back to my surprise he comments to me that he'd like to get another dog one day. The house was just too empty and didn't seem right without one. At first we thought of a puppy. But then I mentioned the site. And we also thought of all the work and time to train and housebreak a new puppy. He saw the site, read Aja's story, and I filled in the online application, not expecting much. A few days later I got a call from one of the rescue workers. I did an online interview, she called references and a few days after she called saying Aja was ours if we wanted her. Sooo, about a week later Aja was delivered to us by her former parents.

Aja is different from Jack. Different personality. Different likes an dislikes. So at first I wondered if we were doing the right thing. Is this right? Am I going to regret it? Am I just trying to replace Jack and will I be disappointed? Will Aja not like us? Lots of thoughts like that. But she was okay. A little skittish at first because it was a new home and all. But on about the third day, she came over to me and put her head right in my lap. And I knew things would be alright. I have never regretted getting her. She is not Jack, never will be. But she is special in her own way and we just love her.

If you do consider getting another dog, I would strongly suggest you at least think about getting a rescue dog. A dog that is no longer getting the attention it once had because of a baby, the owners just got tired of it, or whatever. There are so many dogs in need of new homes. And so many stories like Aja's. And the good thing about an older dog (Aja was 4 1/2) is that they are trained and all that.

I recycled a newer bed that Jack had hardly used. But most of his things I have stored away in a box. Those are Jack's things. I put away the cover of his new bed and bought a cover for Aja with her name. Whenever I start feeling guilty I remember what a sweet boy Jack was. How he would move off his bed so the cats could sleep there. Or how he would act all rough and tough around a dog he didn't know then end up playing with them. And I think he would approve of me and be happy that I am giving Aja a good and loving home with the attention she needs.

Grieve all the time you need. But do remember when the time comes there are a lot of dogs out there that need love and attention and will be wonderful companions to you. They will never replace the one you lost, but they will take up their own special place in your heart as Aja has in mine. :hug:

[oregonjen]

18. What a nice story

This was the first time I saw my DH cry as well. Very hard for the whole family. We buried her in our backyard and visit her daily and put a wildflower on her grave every visit.

I am looking at petfinder.com, but then I find myself feeling like it is too early. I know the time will come when we will find the dog for us.

The strange, but comforting thing is...two days after Gracie died, my Grandfather died. My family feels that maybe Gracie helped him move on to his next life. He fought and was afraid of dying for years. The pain of both deaths has left my family pretty stunned.

Thanks for your post. I'm glad you have brought a dog that needed a home into your hearts.

[calico1]

19. oregonjen, I looked at many, many

stories, memorials, etc. of all kinds of dogs. Not just rottie's. Something about Aja made me feel like coming back. Who knows? Maybe Jack was guiding me to her. I think that when the time is right you will feel it and you will know. You sound like a wonderful dog parent. So I am sure someday you will make some other pooch very happy!

[radfringe]

20. it varies

depending on the person

we lost 2 cats about a month apart, had previously adopted a kitten so we weren't in a hurry to get another cat - but a few months later we took in a stray that was hanging around my workplace.

the following year we lost Rhonda (chihuahua-terrier mix) - two months later we adopted a greyhound

my mom lost her dachshund, she said she wasn't going to get another dog, too upset - but a month later she adopted another dachshund.

a woman I worked with lost her dog about 2 years, she said she wouldn't get another one and last I knew she hadn't

there's no right/wrong time for bringing in a new pet when you've lost one - it depends on how you feel and whether or not you are ready to do it or not. As I tell other people - you'll do it when the time is right for you

[SiouxJ]

21. I had to; I was going out of my mind

I had Rocky for almost 18 years and after I put him down, I lasted 6 miserable weeks before I got my two new dogs - Boris and Natasha. I immediately felt better. All those empty, quiet moments were suddenly filled with the need to walk, feed, train, play with, and groom my new babies. It helped immensely. I went from crying every day to only doing it once a week or so. I highly recommend getting a new one as soon as possible. I waited way too long and suffered much longer because I did.

[oregonjen]

22. I'm kind of feeling the same way

It is miserable. There is a huge empty space that is here and my family is lonely. For me, the primary caregiver, I'm missing taking care of a dog. My cat is pretty independant. When he wants attention, he comes to me. If we go to him, he will tolerate a couple of pats, then has had enough. With our dog, she loved being right in the middle, on our laps, etc. We miss that companionship. I have a feeling, we will get a new dog fairly soon. We are believing that fate brought us to Gracie and fate will bring us to our new dog, whenever that will be.

[Beaverhausen]

23. Here's how I see it

You aren't replacing your lost pet. You can never do that. So if you feel any guilt in that direction it is unwarranted.

But what you are doing is giving a safe and loving home to another soul who needs it. Just loving your new pet doesn't take away from your love for the one who is gone.

I'm so sorry about your loss. :hug:

[yorkiemommie1]

24. 6 weeks

after we lost muffy ( 14 years ) our tiny silky, i swore no more.

it was 6 weeks of a very quiet house. just the two of us, w/ a daughter grown and in college.

on thanksgiving weekend, i happened upon small breed rescue site and there he was. dh wanted no dogs. i said all you have to do is go look. we did, sat on the garage floor of the rescue place to see if he'd like us. he ran right past me and over to DH, put his paws on his chest and it was love at first sight. this yorkie ( big one ) smiles, and takes a toy out everytime he goes pottie, and watches tv w/ dh. he's a cartoon dog come to life.

a year later, we found another yorkie on a rescue site and brought her home ( her of the hula hips ). they fought like crazy for a year and they love each other now.

it is SO HARD losing a beloved pet . I swore I'd never get another dog. I lied. when, and if, the time is right, you will know it in your heart. all the best to you from me and the yorkies.


edited to add that i will never forget my husband's laugh of delight when he saw the new doggie smile. his beloved childhood dog was the only other dog that ever smiled for him.

[yellowdawgdem]

25. Sorry for your loss

and I hope you will recover from the grief asap! imo it's an individual matter how much time you all need to mourn your baby dog. It does seem like life has a way of just handing you another pet at the right time. I haven't had a dog in many years, but have had numerous cats, and have grieved deeply for them after they go. I guess it's a similar thing, though not identical, with dogs. One can get even closer to them, so it would be a little different. I noticed that you mentioned september as a possible time for actively looking for another dog. Maybe that would be a good way to go.

[superconnected]

26. Sorry about your loss Oregonjen.

I think you should wait a bit and maybe take in another. I think your dog might like the idea that you save another one that is alive.