I desperately miss Luna

[malta blue]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x7847924#top

This is just horrible :cry:

Egypt (rat terrier) doesn't know what to do with herself. She is the submissive one and is not eating well since Luna left us. She won't go outside - not sure where she is going :puke: but it's NOT when I walk her....

I just wish I could have the loveable Lu back - I miss her snuggles.

[Sanity Claws]

1. My condolences

on the loss of Luna.
How old is Egypt? How long were the two dogs together?
I'm sure it's so hard on her too.

[malta blue]

2. Egypt is about 2 1/2 and they were together for 9 months.

She won't go to the corner where luna's dish was - I tried to move her dish there instead of in the middle of the kitchen and she just refused to approach it. I pulled it back to the middle of the floor and she just took a kibble and followed me into the other room to eat it. She will do this with about 1/2 the bowl and just leave the rest behind.

[Lavender Brown]

3. I'm so sorry mb...

:hug: :hug:

I lost my cat three weeks ago, and the sense of loss is still very strong. I miss her so much, I can barely talk about her without getting upset. Why can't we have them longer?

[malta blue]

9. I don't really know what my place is right now...

it seems no one in the house is even HALF as sad as I am about Luna's passing....

[Lavender Brown]

15. ...

:hug:

[MissHoneychurch]

4. I'm so sorry Malta Blue

:hug:

It is so sad that Luna had to go. I hope Egypt comes around and starts eating again. Maybe with the time being she will become more confident.

:hug:

[malta blue]

10. I know that Luna had to go, and I feel proud of myself

for being able to let go before she had serious issues, but that can't comfort my soul.

Egypt ate well today :D

:hug:

You are a good friend MHC.

[roody]

5. Ooooh, Luna.

Tears will leave no stain.
Time will ease the pain.
For every life that fades
Something beautiful remains.

from Tina Turner's Wildest Dreams CD

It is no insult, rather a compliment to the joy Luna brought you, if you go to the animal shelter and find a new companion for your family. It would make some dogs very happy.

[malta blue]

11. Eventually, the time will come for us to get another dog...

right now I have to start re-training Egypt. She has starting going to the bathroom in the house again. She always followed Luna's lead outside, and Luna would NEVER go in the house, unless she was sick and even then, it would be right by the door - she was very well trained.

I have always had a problem with Egypt. She was very good when she had a lead to follow, but it has gone downhill.

I am having all my carpets taken out of the house tomorrow and cleaned professionally, so I am hoping that she will improve before they get back.

[livetohike]

6. I'm so sorry malta blue

:hug: What a cute little sweetie Luna was..and poor little Egypt. Oh, it's so hard I know. When we lost Misty in 2000, her litter mate Ranger was so sad. Egypt will come around - Ranger did and he lived to be 16 years old (died in 2003).

My sympathy to you and your family and a big Arf! from Cindy and Ranger too.

[malta blue]

12. thank you so much.

my world seems surreal these days. Most people expect me to be my usual self, and I just don't feel like it, but I have to put on a show to ensure that my co-workers, Little MB, etc., are appeased.... It really sucks!

No one in the house seems to feel the loss but me. Little MB is just turned 9, so she is quite resilient. Mr MB is not a dog person - loves cats and tolerates the dogs, so he has no real sense of loss, it's just me dealing with it here.

Egypt seems to be eating better - now she is messing the house though, so I have to fight with that :banghead:

[JeffR]

7. When we lost our big guy last spring, our little beagle was like this

Just like humans, dogs need some time to come to grips.

We waited 4 months before getting a new puppy, and even then, I wasn't sure if I was ready. But he's been such a handful that there's been no time to ponder it all since we brought him home. And the beagle, who was pretty awful with him at first, has finally accepted his presence. She's not exactly cordial, but she recognizes him as part of the pack now.

Not saying you should necessarily go this route, of course.

One way or another, dealing with the loss takes time, and it's really tough.
:hug:

[malta blue]

13. it is really tough ...

tougher than I ever thought it would be. I knew going in that I was doing the right thing by Luna - that I would be saving her from pain, etc., BUT, I never thought that I would be the only one here who really missed her.

[lukasahero]

8. I'm so sorry for your loss, malta blue - I am there myself

I haven't even been able to write about having to make the same decision you did a month ago for my beautiful boy, Beau. I still cry every single day and the crushing pain in my chest when I think of going on without him is unbearable. Desperate is the same word I'm using.

I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a hug but I also know it's only Luna's hug, Luna's face, Luna's heart that could ease your pain.

I wanted to respond to your initial posts when you were making this decision but I just couldn't. I couldn't speak to what you were going through then. And now I just want you to know you are not alone, you are not crazy and your pain is understood. :cry: and :hug:

[malta blue]

14. I am so sorry about Beau

:hug::hug:

I really appreciate your post and know that I am here for you too :hug:

[lukasahero]

22. Hi malta,

just checking in on you. I hope you're doing ok.

I saw in your responses that you feel alone because no one in your family seems to miss Luna the way that you do. Try not to be too hard on the people in your life - everyone mourns in their own way. But more than that, I think some of us form different bonds with the animals in our lives. Maybe it's a special animal who chose you to be his/her "human" or maybe it's something special in us that makes all animals more special to us than to others around us. Whatever it is, it doesn't make the loss any easier.

I also wanted to ask if you had considered making a memorial for Luna. I made one online for Beau and honestly, I'm not sure I can say it's made things better but, it certainly made me feel not so alone. There are a bunch of different places online you can do this (I used www.ilovedmypet.com but if you Google "Rainbow Bridge" or something similar, you can find one you're comfortable with.) One thing I wasn't expecting was the people who offered their condolences - like I said, suddenly I didn't feel like such a freak.

Another thing to consider, I've heard but not done, is a real memorial service for Luna. If you're feeling your family doesn't understand, this may not work for you but it's something to think about. (I'll have my own private service for Beau when I'm ready but don't see myself doing the full-on, invite the family and friends thing. If you have children though, it could help them deal with the loss as well.)

So again, just wanted to check in on you. Feel free to PM if you want. I hope you are finding peace.

[malta blue]

23. thank you so much for checking in on me....

My little rat terrier Egypt is doing so much better - I think she enjoys the fact that she gets all the attention now. And I really, truly adore this little dog, but she will never take the place of Luna. Luna was the reason why I am still alive and well today.

When I rescued her, she had been severely abused and electrocuted - and all of my friends started dabbling in meth. I never EVER considered joining them, and watched several go down the toilet to a drug that caused them to go out and not come home for days. I took it upon myself to care for their dogs. I could be found on a regular basis at the dog park with 5+ dogs, most of them Dobermans, and my Luna - my girl - my reason to stay away from drugs.

I am planting a bulb garden in the fall. At that time, I will decide on whether I am burying Luna's ashes or not, but I have set aside a wooden box of her "things" - collar and tags, leash and her ceramic bowls made by ex DUer Distressed American. My neighbor loved Luna and she already asked if she could come and help me plant the garden and bury Luna's things, and I agreed. Little MB will participate, but I am not so sure about the Mr MB. He is not a "gardener" per se, and he is the one who has shown the least emotion - but I don't blame him - Luna was only "his" for 2.5 years. Otherwise it's just me.

:hug:

[JeffR]

16. mb, I wanted to respond again

I just finished work for the night (the joys of freelancing:eyes:) and have been thinking about this throughout the evening.

As silly as this may sound, it was only when I tried to think about my beloved Faust's passing - as best I could - the way a dog might consider such things, that I began to feel the pain ebb. Dogs are at once wonderfully simpler than we are, and at the same time, richly more complex, grounded animals than we are. Faust loved who and what he loved, fiercely, he took things as they came, fearlessly, and he probably didn't spend much time anticipating tomorrow or looking back at the past, sensibly enough. Faust was 15 when he left us, a good long life for a big dog, but gone so soon in terms of human lifetimes. It's spiritually challenging to ponder that a dog gets a decade and a half, and gets it right about being alive, how good it is. And we get our threescore-and-ten or -twenty, and we keep flailing around for answers. Wherever Faust and Luna are, I hope they're still both experiencing their existence simply as it happens, the way it is best experienced.

I haven't yet achieved a Zen acceptance of the stillness that follows the death of a great spirit like Faust's. It still seems that it is a void that murmurs constantly, and can shriek sometimes. But if I had the wisdom and intoxication with life that dogs, these magnificent beings, have, I'd be much more reconciled, I know.

Nance named our new puppy Zen, perhaps not coincidentally. He's ten months old now, and 60 pounds of harrowing mischief, and I just love him. He's not filling that void, and if he's aware it exists he's being uncharacteristically reticent about it. He's pointing me back to the now, and that's helped, too, hugely.

Please be well in this. Despite my meanderings above, I can't pretend to have a key to unlock this hurt. I know, though, on pure faith, that Luna wouldn't countenance the thought of you in distress. That's worth meditating on, perhaps.

[malta blue]

17. thank you so much....

I just returned from trying to track my little Egypt in the woods (she is a door-darter and super fast once she gets out there).

I think you may have something here, I can't imagine how Luna would react to my distress right now - she would be beside herself with despair too. I have to overcome this spiral to honor her memory.

:hug:

[AZBlue]

18. I'm so sorry! Time will make it a little easier, but that doesn't help now.

:hug:

I'm not saying you'll forget Luna and never be sad again - I still cry easily when I start thinking of how much I miss Sally. But then I start remembering her sweet little personality and how much fun we had together - and the tears are replaced by smiles.

Egypt will feel better in time too - in the meantime, you two have each other. There are grief-counseling groups online and in person for those who have lost their fur-friends. I turned to them when I lost Sally two and a half years ago and it was a great comfort. I had just joined DU and didn't know about this forum.

Plus, when you feel it's the right time, find another little one to love. They won't replace Luna - no one ever will - but opening your heart to someone new will help ease the pain.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

19. Oh, it's so hard

I was just thinking today how much I wish our furry friends had much longer lifespans than they do. :hug:

[Maddy McCall]

20. I'm very sorry.

:hug: :loveya:

[Eurobabe]

21. Oh, MB, I am so sorry...

Of course you miss your Lunagirl. :grouphug: