Bickering, bloodsport of siblings - totally normal

[papau]

http://www.latimes.com/features/home/la-hm-bickering17mar17.story

BETWEEN US
Bickering, bloodsport of siblings
You should worry if your kids aren't squabbling, say the experts. Home is the lab where children can try out behaviors.
By Robin Greene Hagey
Special to The Times

March 17, 2005

There's a reason the Felicity Huffman character on ABC's hit show "Desperate Housewives" has resonated with viewers, no doubt a good many of them parents. She's the one who went from high-powered career woman to stay-at-home mom with four kids, three of them out-of-control boys who do nothing but argue, fight and generally wreak havoc wherever they go.

The incessant sound of their children's bickering can drive many real-life parents to play a game of "Can you top this?" with other parents who are constantly victimized by this verbal swordplay. Kids fight over who has to clear the table, feed the fish, answer the phone. You name it — nothing is too small.

Yet as much as parents hate it and children see it as a sport, you should worry if your children aren't squabbling, say experts (who may not have to endure this behavior on an hourly basis).

"Bickering is a perfectly natural phenomenon," said Charlotte Brantley, director of PBS' Ready to Learn program, a government-funded initiative that complements public broadcasting with programs that prepare children for school. "If kids don't ever argue or bicker, you have to wonder if things are OK. Kids are jockeying for position and parental attention. This is their own little laboratory to test out behaviors in a safe environment."
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[Zing Zing Zingbah]

1. I think it depends on the age difference between the kids.

My brother was five years younger than me. I rarely fought with him. I don't think there was anything wrong with us. I just didn't have the need to bicker with him. Five years difference in age isn't a lot as adults, but it was when we were kids.

[papau]

2. I think you are correct - 6 yr dif and no real fights - but 3 yr and

constant fighting is what I have observed.

[cally]

3. Mine FINALLY get along

They still fight, but they are close now. All through childhood, I was jealous of my friends' kids who played together. Not a chance with my two. They fought. We would pull over to the side of the road and kick them out of the car to argue it out without us involved. Probably the worst episode was near a cotton field on I5 where they fought for close to an hour before we let them in the car. They both have pieces of cotton saved in memory boxes in their rooms. I thought my kids would never form a bond and do anything together.

They like each other now. They still argue, of course, but I get asked how I was able to raise kids who are so close. :shrug: Who knows?

[SCDem]

4. Brothers were 4 and 5 years older than me

Was tied to a tree a foot off the ground, shut in the trunk of a car, horrible contraptions set up to go off when I went in a room, endless psychological toruture. But now we get along great and laugh about all the stuff they used to put me through.

[RetroLounge]

5. "Bickering is a perfectly natural phenomenon"

Well then, my 6 yr old and 4 yr old are perfectly natural...

They are bickering as I type. :D

RL