Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

[Ian David]

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world.

The LHC successfully collided particles at record force earlier this week, a milestone Mr Cole was attempting to disrupt by stopping supplies of Mountain Dew to the experiment's vending machines. He also claimed responsibility for the infamous baguette sabotage in November last year.

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."



More:
http://crave.cnet.co.uk/gadgets/0,39029552,49305387,00.htm

[zappaman]

1. Maybe he is telling the truth?

Who knows?

[FiveGoodMen]

5. So the Mr. Fusion thing from Back to the Future was real?

"He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender."

I don't think there's much chance that he's telling the truth. (Although he may believe that he is)

[MrCoffee]

2. KitKats for everyone? The future is utopia!

[hunter]

13. They are Japanese style Kit Kat bars.

This month's flavor is "Fermented Anchovy."

My all time favorite was "Crunchy Grasshopper."

Last April Fools day, for one day only, it was "Soylent Green."

This April Fools day it's "Chernobyl Cabbage" and the filling actually glows in the dark.

[Thor_MN]

24. Oh HELL no. I can't stand the current KitKat ad campaign.

Why they think the sound of people biting into a KitKat is appealing, I'll never know.

If that's our future, turn the LHC up to eleven.

[RKP5637]

3. "was wearing a bow tie" Tucker Carlson???

[muriel_volestrangler]

16. Time machine, bow tie, tweed; it's ...

http://revolutuck.files.wordpress.com.nyud.net:8080/2009/10/karen-gillan-amy-pond-matt-smith-doctor-who-new-costume1.jpg

http://www.bbc.co.uk/doctorwho/dw/episodes/b00rs6t7/videos/p005vy7x

part of the BBC's marketing for this weekend?

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. Or Bill Nye dressed to go out to dinner? (Although obviously Bill Nye is way cooler and saner.)

[Bolo Boffin]

4. April fools somewhere in this story. n/t

[Faygo Kid]

8. Yeah, happy April 1. Anybody seen The Time Machine?

Remember the "Eloi?" Yvette Mimieux - now THAT was my kind of Eloi!

[no limit]

6. Lol. Good prank

[RKP5637]

7. Ahhh, now I get it! A Teabagger from the Future!!! n/t

[jgraz]

9. Want to really fool people? Tell them the LHC will run flawlessly for the next 5 years.

[greencharlie]

10. lmfao...

classic!

[Froward69]

11. "communist chocolate hellhole" With "Kit-Kats for everyone"

yeah right

[j420norcal]

12. Time is relative to the observer. I remember reading somewhere

that from the observers perspective, you could never be visited by someone from the future, but you could travel to the past.

[RagAss]

14. yes...time is a tool of perception that allows for sequential viewing of an eternal reality..

[Ian David]

15. Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. Space is what prevents everything from happening to me. * Attributed to John Archibald Wheeler
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Time

[FiveGoodMen]

18. Doesn't that imply that there's no free will and we've already 'done' everything?

In that case, no sense getting worked up about current politics since the outcome is inevitable.

[RagAss]

19. Bingo !

[FiveGoodMen]

20. Kind of makes a political discussion/organizing site like this one seem senseless...

Although, I suppose it also means we can't make ourselves quit, either.

[RagAss]

21. We play our roles, nonetheless.

[FiveGoodMen]

23. This is what I was talking about:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x8295976

The urgency in your post (which I share) doesn't make sense if the outcome is already decided and therefore inevitable.

[RagAss]

31. But that urgency was also predetermined.

;-) And appeared without volition.

[Thor_MN]

25. How could that work? If you could travel to the past, would everyone disappear?

Assuming traveling to the past spins off an alternate universe, all the people in that universe have been visited by someone from the future...

[tinrobot]

30. If someone traveled to the past...

...then they couldn't observe themselves as being from the future.

Correct?

If so, nice little paradox.

[Twillig]

22. Must be the new Doctor.

[IndianaGreen]

26. Must be!

Mountain Dew as a power source!

[Occulus]

27. Beat me to it. Dammit.

At least there isn't a crack in my wall....

[muriel_volestrangler]

28. Ahem. Post #16. Over a month ago.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=228&topic_id=64987&mesg_id=65005

[callous taoboy]

29. Heh, I'd like to party with that guy.

[Diamondex]

32. But.. The Future Refused To Change