I felt in the presence of true greatness.
Desmond Tutu. “Reconciling Love – A Millennium Mandate”
Santa Barbara, CA 11/04/2005
He opened his talk saying it was really “Reflections of a Wounded Healer,” and mentioned a book or study on this topic but I couldn’t make it out. (Could it have been Henri Nouwen’s The Wounded Healer,
http://www.stnews.org/Books-1496.htm ?)
(Forgive the sketchiness of my recall. I took notes, but it was dark and I ended up with practically as much ink on my white shirt as on the page.)
Tutu talked about the program in South Africa, Restorative Justice, in which perpetrators of apartheid atrocities are granted amnesty if they publicly tell the truth about all the evils they have done. They have to come forward, accuse themselves of their crimes, and be heard by groups of the victims of these crimes, those who had lost loved ones or who had been injured in the violence.
Outrage provokes a reprisal. Retaliation is endless. It never ends and goes through the generations, with one act of revenge always followed by another. In South Africa they considered using the courts and penal system to punish perpetrators of apartheid atrocities, but there were far too many crimes, so they had to come up with something else. They came up with the idea of amnesty in exchange for the perpetrators’ full disclosure of what they had done. Having to apologize can be more difficult than dying, and Tutu admitted his own immense reluctance to apologize to his wife, even in the privacy of their bedroom.
Restorative justice provides closure for people who otherwise have none. For instance, closure is the burial of murdered loved ones. A woman begged for at least one bone of her son so she could bury it and have some kind of end to her grieving. They never found her son’s bones, but they could offer the reconciliation process. There were many secret burial places on farms. A man looked into one of these mass graves and said, I recognize my brother because I bought him those shoes.
There is a deep, deep longing in the heart for peace. While some were afraid there would be an orgy of bloodshed and violence once apartheid was defeated, that wasn’t the case because restorative justice is actually much more appealing to the human heart than revenge. Forgiveness and reconciliation are such amazing gifts of the spirit, such sweet things to savor in life, that they gave meaning and acceptance to those who had lost loved ones and were injured in the violence. A man who had been blinded said after a public reconciliation hearing that his eyes had been returned through the reconciliation process (although he was still physically blind.) Another man who had lost his son said that it was not in vain because in the end it contributed to this amazing process of collective forgiveness. The worst thing for anyone who has suffered an injustice is for it not to be heard, for anyone to pretend that it didn’t happen.
Truth is a necessary part of reconciliation. Forgiveness has to be confrontational. You can’t just let bygones be bygones, or those bygones will come back and haunt you. A pain remains in the pit of the tummy, and this pain must be articulated and acknowledged or it will constantly fester. It will erupt in violence when least expected, at the least likely provocation. Forgiveness is a community process, which requires work, confrontation, self-accusation, and telling the truth. There is a deep, deep longing for peace in the human heart. It is far more satisfying to have reconciliation than revenge.
There is no future without forgiveness.
Humanity needs to be recovered, not further trampled upon, in a system that has trodden callously on people’s rights, dignity, and lives. The perpetrators need the victims to help recover their humanity. A person is only a person through other persons.
Presubmitted questions for the end of the talk:
Is violence ever justified?
We must learn to see the good in the world and stop focussing only on the horror. Love is happening all the time, all over the place. We need to pay a lot more attention to it. Look at the huge upswelling of protest in response to the Iraq war. You think it made no difference, but it did, even if not to the Bush administration. (Even he begged the White House to give the weapons inspectors more time, to no avail.) This war has brought an outburst of active compassion into the world in the form of these protests. (He had thanked us for demonstrating for sanctions against the apartheid government. When we mildly clapped in response, he waved a magic wand over us to turn us into South Africans who wanted to clap for the Americans who had helped end apartheid. The crowd went wild.)
In an ideal world, there would be no killing, not even for religious purposes. (This brought a huge laugh and wild applause.)
Because sometimes it is necessary to stop someone like Hitler, there are moral rules which must be followed for war to be considered:
1) It must be sanctioned by a legitimate authority.
2) There must be absolutely no other option.
What are the chances of healing the pain of racism and ending racism in this country?
Tutu was shocked on his first visit to the US in 1972 to sense the bitterness among African Americans. This is a pain you don’t learn about as an African American, it is taken in with mother’s milk. The only hope of healing racism and the devastation of Native Americans and all displaced indigenous peoples is to take a full account of what happened. He had just come from Greensboro, NC, where the town is attempting a restorative justice project, truth and reconciliation, around events that happened November 3, 1979 (involving Native Americans?)
What could Christianity learn from other religions?
Tutu shot back, “That God is not a Christian!”
Tell me that God is going to look at someone like the Dalai Lama, say he is one of my finest examples of a human being, someone who can fill Central Park even though he can’t even speak English properly, and then say, but sorry, I can’t admit you into heaven because you haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior. What utter nonsense!
Last question:
If you had but one wish to accomplish one more thing in the world in your lifetime, what would it be, and how could we help?
How about ending poverty? (With that he bowed, paused for a second, and walked off the stage.)