I've been standing outside with my ear to the door

[ashling]

then I kind of opened the door a crack and looked in this forum. "Hello"

No answer

"helloooo ... mind if I come in?"

... still no answer.

"Well, if nobody minds, I'm gonna' come in for a while and look around ... maybe even leave a post or two. Would that be ok?"

"OK, here's the deal. I used to write some ... mostly for myself ... some for local weekly rags. ... wrote and tried to publish some children's books ... until there was no room left my filing cabinet for the rejection letters ... and some "humorous" essays."

Silence.

"Y'know, I'm just gonna sit here for a while and talk (or type) ... if no one is listening, that's ok ...

I was cleaning out the garage the other day and came across a spiral notebook that I instantly recognized as some poetry I wrote a few years back ... well, more than a few, actually. I was sort of surprised that some of it is , well, not too bad.

Mind if I share and ask for some feedback?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear ashling!

Of course you may come in, and do all the things you asked about!

I do come in here now and then, and find a few other folk in this dusty, quiet little forum...

It doesn't move fast in here, though...

I'd love to read your poetry!

I've got one going in the Lounge...zero responses after over an hour! I did have a nice nap, though...

I'll put the link here and maybe you can comment in my thread!

:hi:

Here's the link:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9324120

[nadinbrzezinski]

2. We don't byte

:-)

[ashling]

3. 3 poems

I tried to post a couple of poems earlier, but my computer seems more annoyed at me than usual - so here I go again. I wrote them all around the same time.

Now the Night

Now the night -
endless,
cold,
unfeeling -
obscures all but my memories of you.

God how I miss you
how I need your nearness -
for just your presence
warms me.

I look up
seeking to drift -
once again -
into the deepness
of your eyes

But you are not there -
and as I look up
I realize
I am alone
... crying in the night

`
So they say (7-7-79)

Time heals, so they say,
those wounds,
those marks,
those scars
left when love is gone

I suppose its true -
and so I pray
that My shattered heart,
my aching soul
in its heavy emptiness
will again be filled

there was no fullness
no purpose
before I first saw you;
no reason before
you loved me
with a love I thought timeless-

But what is time?
A space separating what?
-love?
And what of space?
-what of love?
At least time heals
... so they say.


I met her (11-17-79

I first met her long ago:
Gazing, merely, upon her kindly face.
I never knew her, though -
A different time and place.

A time when I was very shy;
A place where I felt out of place -
And more I dare not try,
Than to gaze upon her face.

And now some years have passed,
And now my heart can see.
We meet again -
at last
... but will her heart see me.

[nadinbrzezinski]

4. The second one in particular is very powerful

opening many questions on the reader.

Now I don't do poetry so beyond telling you that they are powerful, I have no idea about technique, and I know there is something to that.

:-)

[ashling]

6. Thank you

:hi:

I appreciate your feedback. They bring back where I was when I wrote them, but I wasn't sure they would work for someone else ... of course, when I wrote them I was writing them for me.

[nadinbrzezinski]

7. Here is the thing, when you start writing for others

fiction and poetry at least... that's a bad idea.

Now writing history of labor... that is a whole different kettle of fish. So keep the writing for yourself... even people like Owen, (Dulce et Decorum Est fame) wrote for himself.

[jotsy]

8. You wrote #2 on my 18th birthday.

I am a scribbler of strange sorts. Idealistic essays and poems or fantastical fiction involving everything from wish thieves to tree maidens are the kind of tales I tend to toss. All concept, no courage or commitment; as we are all works in progress, these are flaws I try to remedy.

Hope threads here are what you came looking for.

[Ozymanithrax]

5. Welcome to our Parlor, said the spiders...

Love to comment.