Who believes that mountain-bike story?

[liveoaktx]

Admittedly I'm about an hour away from Crawford, but it hasn't rained here for a week! Oh, sure, it's looked like it *might* rain but instead it's been hot, especially the last few days. Today it was so hot and windy all day it wasn't worth going out after about 10 in the morning.

So we are to believe that this guy, who isn't known at all for riding a bicycle, is scared of riding horses and fell off a Segway, decided to go out on his ranch a few hours before going out to see his daughter in Austin, and bike 17 miles? On a very hot and windy day in the middle of the afternoon? And, he's not even sunburned! C'mon, we all know, right, that there is no way he could have been riding for almost 17 miles on a day like today and not gotten a burn. (I saw the pic-he's pale except for the boo-boos.

[Eye and Monkey]

1. That's a very good point. No sunburn. Rug burn, no sunburn.

Perhaps it was a fraternity prank.

[Jmeyers130]

2. too much...

beer, jim beam, and nose candy. I guarantee

[Eye and Monkey]

3. Jets. He wants us to believe that he flew jets.

[FloridaPat]

4. Sun tan lotion anyone? Or Secret Service agent holding

umbrella over his head as he rode.

[liveoaktx]

5. In this weather, even if he had sun tan lotion on, it would have

sweated off in about 5 mins. I think the mountain bike story is hooey, but sounds manly to cover up some other dumb accident.

[aquart]

6. His hand is hurt. How did his hands not protect his face?

With that damage to his chin and nose, how is it he didn't jar his neck?

[progdonkey]

7. The evidence so far

Let's see,
Shrub would have us believe he injured himself while riding a bike, but the following points (most of which have been already listed) just don't jibe with reality.

-He has no history of riding bikes; this is admittedly flimsy, in that I've never even met the man, but the only exercise I've heard him engage in is running. Maybe he was just rusty from not having ridden a bike in a long time?

-No sunburn whatsoever; this is especially important: I can't believe someone could have biked 16 of a planned 17 miles in the scorching Texas heat without at least a little color. And if it was windy that day like Dac_76 has supposed, he should probably also exhibit some windburn with the sunburn. Yet, he's pasty as ever.

-His injuries are far too light for a bike fall. The few times I've fallen off a bike at high speed, I've found myself with more serious injuries; including shoulder injuries from rolling around on the ground from the momentum. That's just my experience, though. When someone falls from a bike, they would either fall forward, with the full force going to their hands and face (resulting in major trauma to both), or they'd roll around, resulting in injuries more to the body. I would think that a bike fall that resulted in facial injuries would result in far worse head trauma than he exhibits. The article states he was wearing a mouthguard. Maybe I'm just ignorant of intensive bike riding, but I've never heard of wearing a mouthguard when biking. Maybe to explain away the lack of broken teeth that would likely accompany facial injuries in a bike fall?

-He couldn't even stand on a Segway--a vehicle with thousands of dollars of high-tech gyroscopic balancing equipment. Why should we believe he could control a bike for a full 16 miles (granted it resulted in a crash...)?


Here's my theory, which I'm sure is shared by most: Shrub went on a bender (or was just being his normal, stupid, uncoordinated self) and fell over on the ground, resulting in light injuries to his hands and face. This would explain why his injuries lie well within the "wittle boo-boo" range and do not include broken or chipped teeth. Also, drunks don't roll over from momentum when they fall--as those falling from moving vehicles would--they just fall; straight down, onto their hands and face.

Remember, not only did this guy choke on a pretzel, but he PASSED OUT AND HIT HIS HEAD on the way down. This is not a guy who needs to be in/on a moving vehicle to suffer head wounds!

[Veggie Meathead]

8. I have wondered if Bush gets epileptic seizures,

brought on by excessive use of alcohol or other drugs.I say this from my own personal experience.I have a young son who is an epileptic.When he gets a seizure while standing, he gets hurt in the same way that is described here.Just a thought.If anybody can shed more light on this it would be appreciated.

[johncoby2]

9. I dont care about his fall.

But....can we impeach him for it?

Geez...I think with his scars we might have a Dukakis moment on our hands. Or a Bob Dole moment.

All TIme or Newsweek needs to do is put him on the front page with a title "TOUGH WEEK FOR BUSH".

[liveoaktx]

10. This morning is weather like yesterday except it's not blowing as hard

I was out mowing this morning, it's very hot, and I have a sunburn already after an hour (only now about 11:30 am).

Another reason, though, I think it's horses*t is, who, around here, goes out on bike rides in the heat and starts them in the afternoon? Every bike ride I've ever been on in Texas, including HnH, started early in the morning so that it would be almost over by the time the temps got up. I remember a man died in HnH one year. Bush is pushing 60 (not that it matters, I recall a man in Highland Park that led the Saturday morning rides when he was in his 80's) but surely a man of his age would not be out in the hot Texas afternoon-if his doctor was with him, his doctor would have told him what a stupid idea that was.

[2bfree]

11. I don't believe it at all.

They are covering for him, covering for what I don't know. For the life of me I can't figure out how he could have fell chin first off of a bike, usually you get your legs and arms skinned and of course mangled hands. Just doesn't add up.

[Brazosboomer]

12. One of my favorite things ----

--- is to challenge Republicans to come up with a picture of Dubya on a horse. It's true, he's scared silly of horses. You can't be a Texan and be scared of horses; it's the law. You gotta turn in your drivers license if you're scared of horses.

We could have ended this war real quick if we'd have just told Bush that Saddam has a horse, and it's coming to get him!

I've ridden in the MS150 and I can tell you that you don't ride a Mouton bike in Crawford, Texas, unless you've got pavement under you. It's rocky in Crawford. Besides, it's embarrassing to ride a bike on a ranch, dammit. On a ranch, you either ride a pickup, a big old landyacht convertible (like LBJ) or a horse. I guess you can also ride an inner tube if you've got a river on your ranch.

I have a friend who thinks Bush got a pretzel stuck in his spokes.