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I'll try to answer by the numbers. Warning, it's going to get LONG! :)
1) Public transportation: pretty much sucks. The schedules are every bit as hard to read as you thought online. It takes forever to get anywhere, and the fringes of town (read: suburbs) aren't covered well. All we have is a bus system, thought MAT does have special vans for those who are physically disabled. I don't know if your son would qualify or not. The buses are not something I would feel personally safe using. I have known other people that have used them, but really, Omaha is basically addicted to their cars.
2) Travel time: really not bad. Traffic has picked up in recent years, but the interstate system is pretty good and compared to the coasts, people are rather respectful drivers. You can still cross the city from southern Bellevue to NW Omaha in about 45 min. unless it's during rush hour. It takes me an average of 15-20 min. to get to most of the places around town that I want to go.
3) Character of different areas: I grew up in North Omaha, and I now live in the south-eastern part of mid-town, so please allow me to take respectful exception to my fellow Omahan's claim that these parts of town should be avoided. :) I love the eastern part of Omaha. There's diversity and character that you just don't find further west. It's beginning to develop the rhythm and energy of a truly big city, and that's exciting.
The majority of neighborhoods in Omaha are actually fairly safe. Your biggest issues are usually drug related, whether it's graffiti, theft, prostitution, etc. But it seems that the problems usually stay confined to those participating in the drug culture. For example, our garage (which is at the back of our property and faces an alley) gets tagged on occasion. And we have a security system to prevent break-ins--after one happened a couple of years ago. But we have never felt that our safety is personally threatened, and once we got the security system, our house has been left alone. I am at home with my two young kids during the day, and I have never felt unsafe. Our biggest problems are noisy neighbors in the apartment next door--but that's pretty easy to deal with. The ironic thing is that even though our part of town has the "bad reputation" and the stereotypes, there have been almost as many drug-related problems in west Omaha. They just cover up and hide it easier.
I actually LOVE our neighborhood. The houses were mostly built between 1884 and 1920, and they are full of character. Some are better restored than others. Most of the homes on our block are now owner-occupied, and that trend is true for several of the surrounding blocks. We have an elderly woman living 3 houses down, and a single gal living next door, and really nice college guys across the street (who don't throw parties). We have a grocery store within walking distance, several churches, two schools, and various businesses. We are minutes from the freeway, and it takes us 5 minutes to drive to the Old Market downtown. The neighborhoods in our area are very friendly, especially if you are a homeowner because you will be more likely to stay long enough to get acquainted. We have had dinner with several neighbors and there are a lot of people who take walks and stop to chat.
Thanks to the Destination Midtown project, we are getting more attention and interest in redeveloping the area, and so far people seem to be intent on preserving the historical character of the area. And in North Omaha, there has been a resurgence of little shops and cafes. People are actually proud to live there. We have neighborhood associations, a civilian drive patrol, and various ways in which neighbors can partner with the police and City Council to express their concerns.
You have to understand, there's a huge socio-economic rift in Omaha. My husband works with people who consider everything east of 72nd St. to be utter ghetto. We've got "white flight" to the west and lots of sprawling development. Everyone tends to want a new house--it's a status symbol. There's not a lot of interest in historical preservation or smart growth--despite the City Plan's claims otherwise. And so you'll find a lot of misinformation and stereotypes of what neighborhoods are "good" and which are "bad." Some of this is beginning to change, but it took a long time to get this way, and it won't improve overnight.
4) Schools-- I'm a former teacher, so I feel like I can speak with some authority on this. The Omaha Public Schools high schools are, in my opinion, much better than the elementary schools. They have a lot of technology labs and strong music and arts programs. Millard and Bellevue also have great highschools. The elementary schools depend on which one you are talking about. The Millard elementary schools are terrific--there are two that are Montessori schools.
OPS suffers a lot from the socio-economic issues I mentioned in #4. Millard, Papillion, Bellevue, etc. all have a solidly higher tax base than OPS, and none of them have schools that really deal with inner-city issues. So I tend to cut OPS some slack because some of their problems are issues every urban school district faces, and I think OPS does better than many.
As far as special resources, OPS has a really strong special ed department. I don't know as much about the other districts for that. However, their Gifted program is not much more than fun enrichment classes. That is why we homeschool our kids. I honestly don't have enough info about the other districts to comment, though I imagine Millard probably has a better gifted program. If your son is gifted as well as physically disabled, then at least in OPS, chances are you will end up getting service for the disability first and then possibly some enrichment activities for the gifted. You also could try looking into living in Council Bluffs, just across the river in Iowa. It's close enough to commute, and I have heard that Iowa's TAG program (Talented and Gifted) is really good.
5) Airport, Rail, etc.: Eppley is really nice, especially if you don't live way out west. Prices are a little bit more than KC or other main hubs because you almost always have to fly to a main hub and transfer. I've only once got a direct flight, and that was for Denver. I don't know about Amtrack.
6)Wingnuts: Yep, we got 'em. :) But I think in general, they tend to be nicer than the ones you bring us from Virginia. Being nice and not rocking the boat is pretty important here to most people. There are more liberals in Omaha and Lincoln than in the rest of the state, but I think overall, it's still really conservative. Don't expect a lot of people here to care about the environment or healthy living (we're in the top 25 most obese cities in the nation). And thanks to the racial and social issues that tend to flow under the surface, there's not as much concern about poverty and ethnic concerns as there probably ought to be. Business is VERY big here. There are a LOT of workaholics and a lot of very pro-business sentiment, which I think is where a lot of the conservative leanings stem from. Not the most academically-inclined crowd either, unless you are connected in with one of the universities. Most people basically want to have their big house in West O., keep their kids in trendy school districts, and shop at the malls and drive SUVs, and they don't give a lot of thought to anything beyond that. I suppose that's typical of a lot of America, but sometimes I think we have more than our fair share of apathy. :)
7) Seniors--I know we have some very nice retirement villages and centers. But it's not exactly a retirement Mecca or anything because it gets cold in the winter. And the public transportation is an issue. But I think there would be several possibilities for your parents if they chose to move.
8) Nice place to visit? I guess. We have a GREAT zoo! And a terrific symphony and opera and theaters. And some decent shopping. And, last I heard, more restaurants per capita than any other city in America. (thus the obesity problem!) As a 31 year old novelist who is a progressive, I often feel stifled by the conservative, business-is-god mindset. We do have a pretty thriving artist community, but it's very fringe. The parks are beautiful, but people have resisted connecting them with bike trails (though we do have a few). Downtown is great, but there are folks in the suburbs who have lived there for 20+ years without ever traveling downtown. I've been told by some of my African American friends who have lived in the South that they feel more racial tension here than in the southern states. But it's all under the surface. Everyone usually keeps their feel-good masks on pretty tight.
So I guess, overall, it's not the worst place to live. And the state of Nebraska itself is beautiful (especially if you get off the interstate and go exploring.) The people are friendly and well-intentioned. It's a "wholesome place to raise a family." And that's true--unless you count some of these other issues I mentioned.
If you want to PM me with questions about specific houses or neighborhoods or schools, I can try to give you the details as much as I know them. A lot of areas, particularly on the eastern side of the city, you just have to evaluate them block by block.
Hope that helps. :)
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