Just For Fun For My MO Friends --------------- Only in the USA

[Jon8503]

Only in the USA can pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in the USA are there handicapped parking places in front of a skating rink.

Only in the USA do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in the USA do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in the USA do banks leave both doors wide open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in the USA do we leave cars worth tens of thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in the USA do we buy hotdogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in the USA do they have drive-through ATM machines with Braille lettering.

[ComerPerro]

1. Thanks for posting it, but I've always hated stuff like this

Mainly because I can think of a logical explaination for each issue.

Except for maybe the hotdog thing and the Diet Coke with a cheeseburger deal.

[Jon8503]

2. I'll try to be more careful about such humor in the future.

[ComerPerro]

3. LOL. I enjoyed reading it, don't get me wrong

Its just usually I read things like that in emails and think, "Well, thats because _______"


Sorry if it seemed like I was attacking!

:hi:

[Jon8503]

4. No problem, I know what you mean, really feel the same way

about that stuff sometimes. Just kind of dumb stuff and can be annoying at certain times.

[whatever4]

5. Hey! There's a Missour forum!

Hello Missouri! I just noticed this one, have to try to frequent this area :) I know it's not good to fill up a forum with funnies, but I liked 'em ;) I'm closest to St Louis, btw

[viperf117a]

6. Lovin every minute of It!

In light of your humor, I thought maybe I could also contribute some presidential humor in light of current events at home and in the Middle East.

IF THE PRESIDENT WERE, GOD:


If the President were, GOD there would be peace in the Middle East for when he spoke it would be done.

If the President were, GOD Senator Hillary would be the Archangel Gabriel.

If the President were, GOD 911 would have been 711 and every one would have gotten a free Big Gulp.

If the President were, GOD the first lady would be the Virgin Mary.

If the President were, GOD Ariel would be a fallen Middle Eastern angel.

If the President were, GOD Albert Einstein would have been a patent clerk living in Guantanamo since E=MCƒU would be the E bomb.

If the President were, GOD the Garden of Eden would be Bush Memorial Gardens in Tampa, FL.

If the President were, GOD coffee tables would be a footstool.

If the President were, GOD Anti-semantic groups would be the one hundred and forty four thousand dressed in white standing on Zion.

If the President were, GOD the White House would be the white throne in heaven having one of Ezekiel¡¦s wheels with eyes all around on the floor of the oval office.

If the President were, GOD the number 6 would be a lucky number being representative of the letter W in Hebrew.

If the President were, GOD http://www. would not exist as Al Gore would have never invented it.

If the President were, GOD the State of Texas would be the Promised Land and the red sea the red river making Moses an American citizen having been born somewhere in Arkansas and raised in Oklahoma.

If the President were, God the Israelites would have been American Indians seeking the Promised Land of Texarkana.

If the President were, GOD there would be no Social Security as the poor and elderly would simply not live longer than they should.

If the President were, GOD the Persian Gulf would be the Gulf of Mexico making Mexico Saudi Arabia and therefore no need for better border security.

If the President were, GOD Geronimo would have been Pharaoh whom built the Sphinx (Pharaoh on horseback) in the Valley of Chiefs near the Pyramids of the Wichita Mountains.

If the President were, GOD the Magi would have seen a star in the west and came bearing gifts of Saudi Arabian refined crude riding upon tanker ships instead of Camels.

If the President were, GOD there would be no Polar Ice or winter since it would be summer all year round.

If the President were, GOD there would be no nuclear weapons, as he would have them all.

If the President were, GOD he would actually be the most supreme power in the universe trusting only in self and no other.

If the President were, GOD Noah¡¦s Ark would have had only two Elephants on board as Noah, his family and all the other animals would have walked the plank.



American politics work like digital information bits either you are a one or a zero.
The Right Wing Republican Salute

Some more Missouri Humor
Book of Bubba