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Florida Legislature gives CEOs medieval right of primae noctis

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SteppingRazor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-11 09:50 AM
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Florida Legislature gives CEOs medieval right of primae noctis
In its latest move to make Florida a totally business-friendly environment, the Florida Legislature passed a bill proposed by Gov. Rick Scott that would grant the right of primae noctis to any CEO who moves his business to the state. Primae noctis, the right allegedly enjoyed by feudal lords that granted them the legal authority to sleep with a bride before she married her chosen husband, has been out of fashion for at least a thousand years, if it ever existed at all. But after a late-night viewing of Braveheart, in which the likely apocryphal lordly privilege figures heavily, the governor decided it would be a fantastic way to attract business to Florida.


Democrats raised some objections to the new legislation. Look, were not necessarily against offering up our virgin youth to the bosom of our corporate overlords, explained state House Minority Leader Ron Saunders immediately after the bills passage. We just want to make sure weve exhausted all the other options first. Thats all were saying. Were as corporate-friendly as the next party.

The Republican supermajority then passed a bill that both outlawed socialism and legally declared Rep. Ron Saunders (D-Key West) a socialist. He was removed from the house chamber in handcuffs and is assumed to be held in a privatized supermax prison somewhere outside Tallahassee.

At the later press conference with Gov. Scott, the states executive leader expressed optimism that the new bill would create jobs in Florida. This is just the kind of robust jobs bill this state needs to attract business to Florida, the governor stated. Now, lets get to work.

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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-11 04:06 PM
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1. All rise! Hail to the Thieves
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bluevoter4life Donating Member (387 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-01-11 06:11 PM
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2. I really thought I was reading "The Onion" for a minute
Edited on Fri Apr-01-11 06:12 PM by bluevoter4life
Sad that the headlines seen there are now what seems to be the norm these days....
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onethatcares Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Apr-02-11 05:48 AM
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3. they also instituted Jim Norman day
Edited on Sat Apr-02-11 05:48 AM by onethatcares
declaring that "All legislators are now able to receive homes, cars, airplanes or boats without having to use thier wives as shields". a few minutes later the bill to allow judges to receive commissions for sentencing up to 37 citizens a day without having to go through trials was also passed.
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