Things you have to believe to vote Republican

[non sociopath skin]

This was posted in a forum on the Care2 Environmentalist site today. Not sure if it's been on DU before but the poster wanted it sent on and it was too good to miss.

The Skin

Things you have to believe to vote Republican this year

1. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad
guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy
when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush
needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

2. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is
communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital
to a spirit of international harmony.

3. The United States should get out of the United
Nations; our highest national priority is enforcing
U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

4. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her
own body, but multi-national corporations can make
decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

5. Jesus loves you and shares your hatred of
homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

6. The best way to improve military morale is to
praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans'
benefits and combat pay.

7. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

8. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
long-time allies ("that's old Europe") then expect
their cooperation and money.

9. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound
policy. Providing health care to all Americans is
socialism.

10. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are
junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

11. A President lying about an extramarital affair is
an impeachable offense. A President lying to enlist
support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

12. Government should limit itself to the powers
named in the Constitution, which include banning gay
marriages and censoring the Internet.

13. The public has a right to know about Hillary's
cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is
none of our business, nor are Dick Cheney's task
force discussions with energy industry our business either.

14. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a
crime unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an
illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

15. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital
national interest, but what Bush did in ! the 1980s is
irrelevant.

Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at
least 10 other people, we're likely to be stuck with
Bush for four more years.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

Source: http://www.care2.com/c2c/groups/disc.html?gpp=1321&pst=20684
(registration necessary)