I've decided to become a Republican.

[LibraLiz1973]

The perks are too hard to resist.


Look at the evidence:

1. If you are Republican, you can lie anytime, about things both serious and small, and your Republican friends will argue that you are telling the truth.

2. If you are a Republican, you can qualify for any job just by saying out loud that you are qualified- even if you clearly aren't.

3. If you are a Republican, you can ignore subpoenas and other legal matters, and basically decide when (or if) you feel like testifying.

4. If you are a Republican, anytime someone catches you being an idiot you can tell them that "John McCain was a POW for 5 years..." or "Sarah Palin's experience is unmatched. The woman controls a state that is spitting distance from Russia!"

5. And finally, if you are a Republican, people constantly hand you delicious Kool Aid.

:sarcasm:

[Cheap_Trick]

1. I, too have decided to become a republican

I figure all I need is a lobotomy and an overwhelming sense of entitlement.

(and a trust fund wouldn't hurt...)

[LibraLiz1973]

2. Exactly.

God, I hate those smirking fucks.

As November approaches, it becomes harder and harder for me NOT to be blindingly angry at the bullshit that is going on.

[Cheap_Trick]

3. The Palin/McCain ticket is the epitomy of all that I hate about them

Arrogant, snide, out of touch, rude, war-mongering, deceitful, uncaring, selfish, moronic, disinterested, self-righteous.....

The list is long, like their list of crimes.

[LibraLiz1973]

9. Sadly, I thought the Bush/Cheney ticket represented the worst possible options

I was wrong

[gateley]

14. I was just thinking (after reading an infuriating "quip" by Tucker Bounds" that

it just FRIES me that if Obama/Biden wins, and they actually stop the bleeding, these fucks will benefit from the very people/party they were disparaging.

I've gotten so blindingly angry that I honestly try to just not read or listen to what they say unless I have a jumbo jar of Tums clutched firmly in my fist.

[Left Is Write]

4. I wouldn't be too sure that that Kool Aid is delicious.

:P

[vaberella]

5. Selective Amnesia sums up the qualifications of being a Republican. n/t

[Overseas]

6. You used to be able to pretend you were rich, too. Until John

Sidney McCain III said you had to have five million to be rich.

[ZombieHorde]

7. Here are some more...

6. You get to have a lot of gay sex and still be considered straight.

7. Your complaints against the U.S. government and people are patriotic.

8. Even if you spew sexist shit all day long, you get to call out others for being sexist.

9. All scientific findings that inconvenience you are automatically pseudoscience.

10. You can be against abortion, contraceptives, gay adoption, and the WIC program, yet still be all about family values.

[LibraLiz1973]

10. Exactly!

[intheflow]

15. Clarification:

You get to have gay sex in public restrooms and still be considered straight. Works for me! :)

[Shiver]

8. Plus...

11. You can be pro-life, pro-war, and pro-death penalty, and nobody will call you on it.

12. You're not overcome with an overwhelming urge to punch Sean Hannity in the face.

13. You can have as many houses as you want and still be considered "an average guy".

14. Michelle Malkin.

15. Unless there is some benefit to you, the only amendment you have to care about is the 2nd.

[LibraLiz1973]

11. lol

Michelle Malkin


:rofl:

I can not stand her!

[Rebellious Republican]

12. hmmm, I used to be a republican, my problem was that I was not

willing to become a Neocon Corporate Fascist or an ultra conservative religious whack job. Anything resembling the old GOP does not exist anymore. Its just that the republican party was the easiest to high jack because their basic core beliefs.
:toast:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. LOL!

:rofl: :rofl:

K&R

:patriot:

[blitzen]

16. You could start a "Republicans for Obama" group!

[LiberadorHugo]

17. Republicans aren't all bad...

If I lived in Montana instead of Ontario, I would vote straight ticket Dem and Komrade Kelleher (R) for Senate. :-) Better a socialist with an R next to his name than a moderate with a D.

[baldguy]

18. That doesn't work with just any Republican.

You've got to be a rich, white Republican. Preferably as CEO or with cushy govt job.

[ContinentalOp]

19. You can't just be a Republican voter though. You need to hold a public office.

Luckily, today that's easier than ever! Elected officials like Sarah Palin show how successfully Republicans have shattered the glass ceilings of competency, experience and even basic intelligence that may have been keeping you out of public office. Act now and you'll get all of the above perks and more!