Just how much does John McCain suck?

[JTG of the PRB]

Poll question: Just how much does John McCain suck?

It's a question I've been wondering for a while now. This man sucks so much that it's hard to measure exactly HOW much he sucks, but I've narrowed it down to a few options. Personally, I think he sucks so much that light cannot escape his surface - much like the common black hole, or Dick Cheney's heart.

So what say you, DU? Just how much does John McCain suck?

[NightWatcher]

1. sucks so hard, he could suck-start a leaf blower

or sucks so hard, he could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch

[Richard Steele]

2. He sucks like a large sucking thing working on its PhD in Advanced Theoretical Suckology. nm

[cosmik debris]

3. He sucks dogs on stage in Tijuana. n/t

[beezlebum]

4. sucks like a big sucking suckey McSuck-tion thing

that democrats will defeat. period.

[nichomachus]

5. John McCain is a dick

It must be true -- I read it online

http://www.dickipedia.org/dick.php?title=John_McCain

John Sidney McCain III (born August 29, 1936) is the senior United States Senator from Arizona, the presumptive Republican Party nominee in the 2008 presidential election, an angry old man, and a dick.

In the Republican Party, there are two kinds of dicks: those that support the Iraq War but were too cowardly to fight in a war when they had the chance, and, much less common, those that support the Iraq War and did fight in other wars when they had the chance. McCain is the latter kind of dick.

During the Vietnam War, McCain became a naval aviator. In a bombing mission over North Vietnam in 1967, he was shot down and badly injured. He endured five and a half years as a prisoner of war, including periods of torture, before he was released following the Paris Peace Accords in 1973. This raises the question: can one be a hero while at the same time being a dick. The answer, as McCain has shown, is: yes.

In 1982, McCain was elected to the U.S. House of Representatives, and in 1986, he was elected to the U.S. Senate. During his years in the Senate, McCain has essentially been an unthinking, run-of-the-mill right-winger. He managed to establish a reputation, however, as a "maverick" who often "defied orthodoxy." That this is true is testament to the high incidence of dicks in the media, an occupation generally considered to have among the highest of DPRs (dick prevalence rate).

In the late 1980's, McCain became one of the "Keating Five." Some have noted that this sounds like a band. And to the extent that taking payoffs from corrupt savings and loans officials, passing legislation that deregulated the industry and destroyed thousands of lives, and intervening in the investigation of said corrupt savings and loan officials is like playing music, then, yes, they were a band. A very good one.

In order to salvage his career, McCain recreated himself as a campaign-finance reformer. Because of a defect in the media, McCain succeeded. In 2002, the largely useless McCain-Feingold Act was passed.

McCain ran for the Republican nomination in the 2000 presidential election, but was defeated by another dick, George W. Bush. In the 2008 presidential cycle, McCain was joined in the race by a lazy dick, a Mormon dick, a evangelical dick, a libertarian former gynecologist dick and a dick named Giuliani. After the Mormon dick dropped out in February of 2008, McCain became the presumptive nominee.

[ericgtr]

6. He could suck the copprer off a penney

Only if you truly suck will you earn such prestige.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

7. His suckiness is bad

How bad is it?

He sucks so much that he has his own gravitational field, one so dense that nothing can escape... not even light.

[BlueManDude]

8. He sucks in a Mavericky kind of way.

[intaglio]

9. Not Hoover - Dyson

and boy do they suck!

[JTG of the PRB]

11. That's for damned sure!

When it comes to sucking, only a few things out-perform a Dyson... and McLame is on the list!

[Aloha Spirit]

10. I was going to make a tornado joke, but then I started feeling really bad for all the people from

California to Virginia who are living in fear.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. He could suck a basketball through a garden hose.

[AtomicKitten]

13. the suck of McCain

[Zavulon]

14. Sucks so much that I'd rather watch a "Full House" marathon than hear that deluded fuck speak. (NT)

[L0oniX]

22. OMG that's bad.

[Bryan]

15. He sucks so hard, he could take the rust off a battleship

He sucks so hard, he can mine gold from seawater.

He sucks so hard, he has his own microclimate.

[SaveAmerica]

16. He sucks so much he took the soul out of his wife

Weird weird picture, Bush sucked out Cindy's soul, McCasper is waiting to suck George's soul out (take a look at his face - WEIRD!! On second viewing I think I've found the picture everyone's been asking if it's really him - his face is forward and mouth is making the same weird movement, it's just a different angle)

ETA the original picture, the above picture is from a different angle.

[Zomby Woof]

17. That "giant sucking sound" we heard

Wasn't NAFTA.

It was the sound of McCain on spring break in Cozumel.

[JTG of the PRB]

18. Shameless kick.

Oops! Did I do that? :hide:

[11 Bravo]

19. He is the Black Hole of sucking.

Light is unable to reflect from his personage as a result of his abject suckiness.

[Gore1FL]

20. You know why it is so windyin the midwest?

Because in Az McCain sucks and in DC Bush Blows.

[L0oniX]

21. McLame sucks salty donkey balls and donkey d***.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

23. McSuck and a straw would endanger Lake Erie.