For the sake of the children

[Reader Rabbit]

As a teacher, I have seen a fair share of children who are the products of divorce. With rare exceptions, these students' behavior and academic performance reflect the relationship of their parents, both during and after the divorce. Those whose parents are mature and amicable in their relationship are very well-adjusted, both emotionally and mentally. Those whose parents use their kids as pawns in a never-ending war...not so much.

Parent conferences are always interesting. In some cases, we have to schedule two meetings, one for each parent, since they can't stand to be within 100 yards of each other, apparently. In other cases, the parents show up together so the kids can see they're on the same page. Once we had a student who got to eighth grade before we even realized that his parents, who had been showing up together throughout his middle school career, had been divorced for years! (Needless to say, he was a fantastic young man!)

Unfortunately, too many parents pursue a scorched earth policy during and after their divorce, and everyone, particularly their children, suffers as a result. These individuals care more about themselves, their pride, and getting their own way than they do about their children. And dog-in-the-manger style, if they can't get what they want, they'll make sure the ex-spouse doesn't get it either. Pretty much everybody who knows the couple comes out a loser—friends, family, coworkers, etc.

Maybe you can see where I'm going with this. This Democratic primary is like an ugly divorce. The two candidates and their supporters are fighting for custody of America, in both a literal and figurative sense. Unfortunately, many of those involved seemed determined to make the "divorce" as acrimonious as possible.

Those who refuse to vote for the eventual nominee—or who promise to vote for McCain—if said nominee is not their choice are the equivalent of parents who sacrifice the health, well-being, and happiness of their children in order to strike back at their ex. These individuals can claim that their stance is based on principle all they want; the fact remains that it is America who will suffer if this "if I don't get what I want, no one should" attitude prevails.

I can tell you from firsthand experience what damage parents who wallow in anger and self-indulgence can do to their children. What damage voters who wallow in anger and self-indulgence can do to our country, I can only imagine.

I think you can, too.

[Bicoastal]

1. YOU'RE NOT MY REAL FATHER!

boomboomboomboomboomboomboom...SLAM!!

:mad:

[LaurenG]

2. Every single one of them know better and it shows the character pathology

of a truly vindictive person.

I have stated it before and I will again. These people are clowns and if they want to declare for McCain they should be removed from this site. I have no time for those self centered enough to take a hateful temper tantrum to that extreme.

[Fresh_Start]

3. add to your list the group who will just stay home

because non-participating is another bad choice whether in the election or the childs life

[stevedeshazer]

4. K & R

You said it, my friend.

My first wife and I divorced long ago, but put aside our personal animosity (not easy) in order to ensure that the product of our marriage -- our baby daughter -- grew up in a caring and nurturing environment in both homes (we both remarried), and I'm very proud to say that our daughter is now a successful and happily married 28 year old.

I like your analogy -- the current pissing match between the Obama and Clinton camps is a messy breakup. The grownups must act like grownups and do what's best for the extended family.

Excellent post, Ms. Rabbit.

:hi:

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

5. As a child of divorced parents

who pursued the scorched earth policy to the point where I was not allowed to see ANY of my father's family, I can agree with you. And I think the analogy is apt. It has taken me decades to try to repair the damage done, and even now there is lingering bitterness and regret. This same thing can happen to our party--it is vital that we unite and win in 2008. Hey, I'm a Kucinich supporter. Let's face it--Kucinich's policies and ideas are FAR different from Obama and Clinton. Yet I'm supporting the Democratic nominee. I don't understand why Clinton supporters can't get along for the good of the party.

[murielm99]

6. This is the best analogy I have seen here.

I have seen my share of those damaged children, too, and only a few of of the unscathed who had more mature parents.

You are exactly right. We need to stop damaging our party and our country right now.

[noiretextatique]

7. a timely post

i was just talking to someone last night who says she will not vote if obama is not the nominee, nor will she vote for an obama/clinton ticket. to make matters worse, this is the same person who chastized me for joining the green party, even though i told her i voted for gore...a real hypocrite. i understand the desire for the much talked about "change," but it's not going to happen if people don't put their country before their egos. as i reminded her, there is more at stake in the GE than just the presidency.