Hillary and Obama walk into a bar . . .

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

Please finish. Let our hostilities at least make us laugh. Have at it. Please, mods., give us a long leash on this one.

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

1. You'd think one of them would have ducked.

O.K., so obvious one is out of the way.

[IDemo]

2. The nun, the rabbi, and the parrot roll their eyes and walk out together

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

3. Another.

Obama walks into a bar in Philly and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So Obama asks the bartender what the test is.

Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, Hillary Clinton's up-stairs, and, because her husband's a no-good philandering son-of-a-bitch, she's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her." Obama says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You see, uhhh, I, uhhhh, love my wife. Plus, you'd have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, put your hand in a croc's mouth, and then try to get, well, uhh, you know."

Well, as time goes on and the votes come pouring in, and his chances look worse, Obama drinks a few, and a few more, and a few more, and then he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp, tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence. Obama staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body.

"Now" he says "Where's that fuckin' Hillary and that sore tooth?"

[stahbrett]

4. Obama is carded on the way in, while Hillary starts looking for her husband

:D

[THUNDER HANDS]

5. the bartender says "3:00 A.M., last call" - Hillary says "I'll get it."

[walldude]

6. LMAO!! DUZY! That's funny, I don't care what side you are on..

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

7. Ahhhhh, ha, ha, ha, ha.

I hope a lot of people see this one. DUzy written all over it.

[Sparkly]

8. Good one!

:thumbsup: :D

[Skip Intro]

9. OK. That's funny.

kudos.

Can I end this post without comment on the sig pic? Hard, hard thing to do. I mean, who is he supposed to be, the Incredible Barack? Well, that's what I would have asked if I would have asked something, but I won't.


Funny post, man.

[Extend a Hand]

13. can't.top.that

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Hope you get a duzy for that one.

[smalll]

10. The O-Man orders a glass of Merlot...

and starts chatting up a couple of girls with fake IDs, regaling them with the glories of arithmetic. Hillary calls for a Bud, cracks it over the O-man's head, and knocks him out.

Stick that "Math" in your iPods and smoke it! ;)

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

11. Hillary orders her seventh glass of wine. Barack says,

"Jesus fucking Christ, is that ALL you do."

[ithinkmyliverhurts]

12. Obama runs to the corner . . .

and immediately grabs a can of cashews, runs to the corner, and begins to screw away, screaming "yes, we can."

The Bartender says ecstatically, while pulling out his cell-phone camera to capture the moment (one suspects Chris Matthews would pay big bucks), "Jesus, is Obama jerking off in the corner over there?"

Hillary says, "Nah, he's just fucking nuts."

[Jamastiene]

14. ...

and dance the night away to the song, "Que Cera Cera."

No joke, but still would be a pretty sight.