"Just one more dead faggot"

[Bluebear]

by Sara Whitman

I have no words for how I feel today. Not only was a 15-year-old boy shot in the back of the head by someone who hated him because he was gay, because he was not masculine, because he wore jewelry and makeup, but also a 10-year-old boy hung himself in England.

He wanted to be a girl. He wanted to wear his sister's clothes and makeup. His mother let him wear girl's underwear but told him he'd have to wait till he was older to wear makeup.

Of course, by then it could get him killed.

The message of hate is getting through to our kids, loud and clear. It's okay to kill someone who freaks you out because they don't fit a gender role to your liking.

That is, if they haven't killed themselves.

Ten years old and full of so much shame he hung himself. Is anyone listening?

In my LGBT community, we argue about who is more pro LGBT rights, Obama or Clinton.

It's been days since Lawrence King was shot dead. Neither candidate has issued a statement or said a word. The national media has done a complete pass on the story.

Both candidates make me sick...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-whitman/just-one-more-dead-faggot_b_87280.html

[Midlodemocrat]

1. There is hope, Bluebear.

BoyMidlo came home ranting last week about someone in his class who stated that one could 'turn' gay. He tore the kid a new asshole.

Some of us are trying to rectify the wrongs dealt to the GLBT community. Not one of my kids has a homophobic bone in their bodies. They have been told since they first started discussing and wondering about the 'opposite sex' that sexual orientation is a biological occurrence like the color of their eyes.

But, this is small consolation and I'm sorry.

[Bluebear]

3. That's because you raised him right :)

Be very proud of him :hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

6. Honestly, the older they get the less credit I can take for

the way they are turning out. All three of them have this inate core of fairness and justice. I didn't put it there, but boy howdy, it sure is there.

And, I am proud of him. I guess he's been listening all along.

[billyoc]

14. My regards to BoyMidlo, he's got a bright future on planet earth.

:patriot:

[Tyler Durden]

42. My son Sid is an Obama SUPPORTER, and he is appalled by his lack of GLBT empathy.

He called me to ask if I'd seen anything out on the 'net about this because he's been working a lot of hours. When I told him I had seen nothing, he paused for about a count of 5 and said, "BIG mistake."

Our further discussion indicated that he thought the whole issue was a chance for Obama to build some bridges, but that now the moment's passed.

[keep_it_real]

2. First time hearing about either story

It is sad though.

[tekisui]

4. I hadn't even heard this yet. Thank you for posting.

I am sickened, nearly to tears.

We must pressure our candidates, and continue when they become President, to speak out on behalf of and defend human rights.

It is a shame that we are forced to try to force them to recognize such serious and worthy issues.

[Bluebear]

7. Oxnard CA

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1714214,00.html?imw=Y

So sad :(

[avrdream]

24. That news didn't make it down here to Oz.

Send it on to the Clinton campaign - if she sees it, she will make a statement.

[Parche]

5. Life

There are so many injustices in our World today, these are some of them.
Why cant people live their lives in peace, no bullies, no more 'hate' and no
more religion teaching 'hate'.
:hug: :hi:

[Mark Twain Girl]

8. K&R. These stories wreck me.

Because this is the one kind of hate no one seems to be willing to stand up against. Let's not offend anyone who believes Jesus was anti-homosexual. Careful not to send a message of tolerance to young children in case they find some condolence in that message and face another day.

[RaleighNCDUer]

22. I would love to see someone discover that the biblical word translated

as 'tax collector' was actually a common parlance in Aramaic for 'gay'.

So that Jesus went and broke bread with the gay.

And the disciples objected to the presence of the gay, Jesus say we are all brothers.

Hey, it's possible. Or just as when Bruce Banner - the Incredible Hulk - got renamed David Banner by TV because "Bruce" is too gay a name, maybe in 1st century BC "Paul" was recognised as a gay name. Kind of changes the apostle's image, doesn't it?

[BlackVelvet04]

50. My 80 year old parents left a church because of it's

stand on homosexuals and they told them why they were leaving.

[GodlessBiker]

9. It makes me sick to think that this "columnist" thinks that these lives are

deserving of any more or less attention than the lives of any of the people murdered over the past couple of days.

Just from LA:

A Latino man was shot and killed in an officer-involved shooting at the intersection of Park View Street and Ocean View Avenue near MacArthur Park at about 3:30 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 16.

Rafael Rodriguez, a 34-year-old man, was stabbed during a fight at 8722 Fontana Street Thursday, Feb. 14. He was transported to Downey Regional Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead that same evening.

Emily Grigsby, a 19-year-old young black woman, was shot while attending a party in the 1500 block of South Fairfax Avenue at about 11 p.m. Friday, Feb. 15.

And so on and so on.

Have the candidates talked about any of these murders? Is the author suggesting that their failure to do so means that they think that there are just one or more dead black and Latino people?

We often think that everyone should be interested in the things we are interested in. Well, they often aren't.

[Bluebear]

10. Translation: YOU aren't interested in murders of gays.

Edited to be nicer :)

[GodlessBiker]

13. I'm gay. I do care when gay people are murdered. These are terrible stories.

But for the author to go off so high and mighty about these individuals and not give a fuck about anyone else who has been murdered, and to claim that those who haven't devoted sufficient attention to these particular murders think that just a couple more faggots are dead is ridiculous.

[Bluebear]

15. You're embarrassing yourself, you really are.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

17. other deaths to get attention. killing by any hate crime or mass killings

get plenty of attention

[LostinVA]

47. I love it when posters pull out the gay card

It makes me tingly.

[Midlodemocrat]

48. LOL. I promise not to do that.

:rofl:

[LostinVA]

49. Oh please -- I remember when you were prancing around with your rainbow avatar

Getting all the trolls insisting you were gay.

[MadMaddie]

57. The 14 year old teen was in school and in a classroom....

when he was shot. He was not an adult, he was not at a party he was at school. The reason he was killed is because he was gay.

The deaths that you mentioned are as important but those people were killed in jealousy, stray bullets, car accidents etc.

Shouldn't every child/teen have the opportunity to go to school in a safe environment?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. so because other people are getting killed one shouldnt be sad that gay boys are being killed

what kind of logic is that?

[Bluebear]

12. That's exactly what he is saying, because people aren't "interested" in it.

Just when I think people can't get any more heartless.

[GodlessBiker]

16. No. The author is saying that the candidates aren't talking about these murders

because they think just a couple more faggots are dead. That's what I object to.

[THUNDER HANDS]

19. i think his point was

that the outpouring of grief is not the issue, but since you raised the question "where is the attention" - the attention is the same as it was for those other stories he listed.

[Midlodemocrat]

20. Dude. These people were killed BECAUSE they are gay

don't you get it? If I get murdered tomorrow, it won't be because I'm a middle aged straight white woman. I have rights that the GLBT community can only dream of.

It's wrong on every level.

[Bluebear]

21. It's infuriating that right away someone tries to dismiss & minimize things, no?

Especially when just keeping quiet and not throw in in two cents would work so well lol!

[GodlessBiker]

23. I'm sure your family will take solace in the fact that you were killed for money

and not because you are a middle-aged straight woman.

Your murder would be just as worthy of attention and consideration as the murder of anyone else.

A murder isn't deserving of attention because of the reason someone was killed, it is worthy of attention because someone is dead. That loss is what is important.

[Bluebear]

25. Just a guess: you are against hate crime legislation, yes?

[GodlessBiker]

27. No, I'm in favor of hate crime legislation. That has nothing to do with

an author saying two candidates believe that just a couple more faggots are dead because they haven't addressed the murder of these individual cases. The author's comments in that regard are ridiculous.

[Midlodemocrat]

26. LOL. Doubt that I will be killed for money, either.

My point, which you are missing, is that no one is going to target me or go out of their way to deny me my civil rights because I am straight. That's the difference.

Matthew Shepherd ring a bell? My family would obviously be devastated if something like that happened to me, but unlike families with GLBT members, no one in my house needs to worry that they will be the target of a hate crime simply because of whom they love.

[TheDonkey]

63. I get your point but this is pretty riduculous. A 15 year old slain by a 14 year old

because he was gay and did not conform to our normal gender roles. That is newsworthy enough to warrant extra attention. We've got to get serious about anti-bullying in our schools. I think this columnist didn't do the victims much respect by using them as props for outrage but the ACTUAL story is pretty heartbreaking and definitely deserves to be in the news.

http://www.gaycitynews.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=19318691&BRD=2729&PAG=461&dept_id=568864&rfi=6

[ErnestoG]

65. Thank you for that. Murder is murder.

Trying to say it's worse if the victim is Gay is as bigoted as saying it's NOT as bad if the victim were Gay.

[Exilednight]

18. Everytime I read a story like this it makes me sick and reminds ...

me of a speech I heard on Boston Legal.

Let me get on my soapbox, I do it once a week. After all this is vintage soapbox stuff. We have god, politics and money, and homosexuality.

Has anyone ever heard of restless leg syndrome? It’s where you move your leg about in your sleep. It’s awful, and you may have it. It may not keep you awake at night, it might not harm you in any way, probably won’t harm you in the slightest. Nonetheless it’s awful the pharmaceutical companies have deemed it so. So they developed a drug and you simply must take it.

If you haven’t of restless leg syndrome, you probably have attention deficit disorder. We have a lot of drugs for that one, you must take them.

Jenny, you looked depressed.
Alex, you’re not sleeping enough.
Gretchen, you think you’re shy, but you actually have Social Anxiety Disorder.
Mark, you say you have a weak stream when you urinate.
Joseph, Irritable bowel syndrome you say?

You have all kinds of ailments you don’t know about. Luckily we have pills for all of them. There’s actually a pill that helps you forget, you can take that to forget that you even had restless leg syndrome, or irritable bowels.

That brings us to same sex attraction disorder. Wow what a fancy name, it even makes it sound official. What troubles me is why haven’t the pharmaceutical companies made a pill to cure you of it?

Clearly they are in the business of selling sickness, if there were a profit to be made they would make it. With an estimated gay population of 10 million in the US alone, there is surely a market for it.

Could it be that they can’t cure it?

Well not to worry, if big pharmaceutical can’t, then most certainly big religion can.

Well big religion is trying; after all they are the ones who coined the term “same sex attraction disorder”- that’s a very good name. It’s important to give it a good name. It’s the first step in disqualifying homosexuals as a segment of the population and telling them that they have a disease.

It makes homosexuals look less like people, and more like a bad case of the flu. It has terrible and awful symptoms, but nonetheless the Evangelical church say it is curable.

Never mind that one of the President’s most trusted spiritual advisors’ was himself caught in a homosexual relationship, or that a republican congressman was writing naughty e-mails to an underage male page- I was told it was curable- at least that’s what they told me down at the church.

Well you can legislate against it, you can go home to your wife and pretend that it feels right, you can join a convent and take a vow of celibacy, you can give it a clever name and treat people for it, you can drive around on a Saturday night with a baseball bat and try and beat it out of some poor soul,

Only in America, only in a country that overtly and notoriously celebrates its prejudice by proposing constitutional amendments against a class of people to limit their freedoms.

God Bless us all- Home of the brave- Shame on you

I hope the churches that are attempting to cure this offers a money back guarantee, and has thrown in a blender as a parting gift.

[musicblind]

28. k & r

[goodgd_yall]

29. I found this article memorializing this young man---good read

http://miamiherald.typepad.com/gaysouthflorida/2008/02/gaysoflacom-rem.html

On Saturday, February 16, over 1000 young people turned out Saturday for a hastily organized peace march to remember Lawrence King. Police, school officials and even the two high school sophomores who organized the event were surprised by the turnout. Through word of mouth, fliers, text messages and MySpace Bulletins, the youth of Oxnard heard about the event and they came. They came to celebrate Lawrence’s life and they came to plea for tolerance on school campuses for those who are different. The “peace circle” formed at Plaza Park in downtown Oxnard was made up of Goths and Punks and Skaters. Their presence sent a clear and simple message to the world. The hate and violence must stop.

“What he did was really brave-to wear makeup and high-heeled boots,” Erin King, 12, told the Los Angeles Times. Mings, who hung out with Lawrence at school, said he was an outgoing and funny boy who stood his ground. “When people came up and started punking him, he just stood up for himself,” Ming said.

[tomreedtoon]

30. The WORLD is full of bullying. Get used to it.

I got picked on for being fat, unattractive, and inspired by comic books. Perhaps that doesn't seem as noble a cause as sexual orientation to you, but it doesn't matter - the ass-kickings and near-rape I got in high school didn't hurt any less than similar treatment gay kids got.

Human beings are as cruel as their consciences and circumstances allow them to be, and those consciences in general don't exist any more. Whether it's sexual orientation or overweight, it doesn't matter; it's just an excuse to ball up a fist. So don't give me this "both candidates make me sick" crap. Any comment on these situations is just as pointless as complaining about gravity or sunburn.

[bluedawg12]

31. There's no changing society? No point to tolerance?

Why should people get used to hate crimes?

Why should people accept that bullying- as in your situation- or murder- as the OP said, is something we shold accept as a society?

These comments aren't pointless- they change awarness- one brain at a time.

[tomreedtoon]

43. As I said, cruely is like gravity or crashing waves - they're unstoppable.

It has been one of the biggest failings of people who pretend to care for children - teachers and "concerned parents" - that they can change the basic cruelty of human nature. So they put up posters and hold seminars and talk on Oprah. And none of it changes the fact that human beings are cruel by nature, and will hurt someone whenever they have the capability of doing so.

All that keeps people obeying laws is the fear of punishment. If you didn't have speeding fines and the threat of loss of license, many more people would die on the highways. And if teachers and parents really cared about children (this is a hallucinatory, fantasy concept, but ride with if for a moment) and severely and physically punished punks and bullies, the incidents of bullying would go down. But never disappear, because it's still King Canute trying to stop the incoming tide.

Änd you have to get used to hate crimes because people hate. That's what they are. Period.

[krabigirl]

53. You've got to be kidding me. No, I won't tolerate it. Those people are deranged.

[tomreedtoon]

55. I'm as serious as AIDS, little girl.

Those people - by which I assume you mean bullies - are absolutely, positively normal. That's why they can get away with it. Cruelty is Standard Operating Procedure for homo sapiens.

Right now, I have heard that the Westboro Baptist Church is coming to my town to run one of their "God Hates Fags" and "You're Going to Hell, America" rallies at a soldier's funeral. They are not being protested. Which is probably good, because protests will never stop them. Beatings, devastating humiliation, maybe a few little .45 caliber forget-me-nots is about all that will.

They are bullies. Do you think calling them bullies is going to stop them? Where did you get your philosophy of life, from My Little Pony videos?

[NMMNG]

60. They're unstoppable when good people of the world allow them to be

It's only when we allow bigotry and bullying to be the accepted norm that the bigots and bullies win.

[BuelahWitch]

33. But you didn't get shot in the back of the head for being fat

did you? This boy was murdered in cold blood just because he was different. I think Bluebear has every right to expect our candidates to address the fact that a CHILD was murdered because he was gay.
As someone else who was bullied just because I was quiet (and possibly b/c the others in my small town knew I didn't have a father), there is no way I would tell victims of bullies to "get used to it." The bullies need to get use to the fact that people are different. Whether it's sexual orientation, weight, skin color, religion or just a different disposition. Why must they hate someone who is different from them?
We have two candidates who are "different." Why shouldn't they address the death of a boy who was different too?

[Name removed]

41. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[goddess40]

36. I won't get used to it, I'm trying to do something about it

I ran for the local school board on the issue of bullying, I'm sick of people making excuses about. When I hear someone stupidly say boys will be boys I let them know that adults that say that are adults that don't want to to their job. Schools number one responsibility isn't education it's providing a safe environment for children. For without a safe environment the job of education is impossible to do effectively.

I suggest you and anyone interested in the problem read: The Bully, the Bullied, and the Bystander: From Preschool to High School--How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle of Violence
by Barbara Coloroso

This is going to take all the voices we can get - go to school board meetings and demand an anti-bullying program be implemented and that all staff must be on board or face termination, write to you state representatives about getting meaningful legislation.


Watch this and tell me it doesn't affect you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbBWsscli_4

[tomreedtoon]

40. When did teachers and parents know ANY damn thing?

They are ignoramuses. They can't even sense what their children go through...if they even gave a damn for children in the first place, which nearly all don't. Their "programs" are just more cover-your-ass-against-lawsuits nonsense.

What the OP is fighting is human nature, which isn't as nice and pleasant as the poets and pretenders like to think. Bullies will always exist. They will always dominate. They will always RULE. The only thing you can do, unless you wish to become a bully yourself, is to tolerate the beatings and try to survive intact.

If you believe anything else, you have obviously forgotten what being a young person is like.

[krabigirl]

52. So shooting someone is now just "bullying"?

[Maven]

56. Being fat was never against the LAW in this country. Public officials don't disparage

fat people on the floor of Congress on TV everyday. Fat people aren't being violently attacked en masse for their appearance.

Get a fucking GRIP on reality.

[terrya]

32. My heart breaks when I read these stories.

One more dead gay boy. Dead, because of who he was.

Shame on the media for not covering this story. And shame on both Clinton and Obama for not talking about the violence that are being done to these kids.

[goddess40]

34. It's called Bullycide, when a child kills themselves after being tormented

http://www.amazon.com/Bullycide-Neil-Marr/dp/0952912120/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1203517921&sr=8-1

Bullycide (Paperback)
by Neil Marr (Author), Tim Field (Author)

This work is a result of copious research. Bullycide opens with the story of the first known bullycide, 1967, in the UK. All the anecdotes detailed in Bullycide are the result of research done in the UK and span time from 1967 to the present. The first child to die by his own intent, as a result of bullying by his fellows, was 11. The youngest the researchers found was 8. One overwhelming theme running throughout the book is that children by and large do not tell parents or others about their being abused. The few who did often found their story discounted by teachers, parents or both. By and large much of the abuse suffered by these youngsters was viewed by adults who were aware that a child was bruised, suffering and tormented as being only `boys will be boys.'

Excellent research. Well written work. So difficult to read the torment these children suffered. Bullycide is presented by writers Marr and Field in a straight forward, non theatrical manner. The facts of the cases speak for themselves. Books such as Bullycide are a must read. This book will help to enlighten readers to the terrible torment children who are bullied endure......


I have this book and I'm still trying to get through it, it's well written and "easy" to read it just very draining.

[Irishonly]

35. My heart breaks every time I read reports like these

Sometimes I hate what society has become.

[Tatiana]

37. I had not heard this. It's awful.

:cry:

Not an excuse, but I'm in IL and we're still in shock over the Northern Illinois University execution-style murders.

[subsuelo]

38. by FAR the best candidate on LGBT issues is Kucinich

You could say Kucinich is the only one that truly gets it.

That actually holds true for most of the issues.

But what do we Democrats do? Make excuses for picking someone else.

[Orsino]

39. ...or any other issue, I imagine.

Republican voters can at least comfort themselves next year with the knowledge that at least the Democratic president doesn't want gays to marry, either. :mad:

[Rosa Luxemburg]

46. yes

you have a point

[IndianaJones]

44. how many variations of "get over it" have I seen here? nt.

[Cameron27]

45. Probably enough to cause

long lasting damage to DU. This primary has flushed out the very worst in some DUers; it's been an eye-opening experience that I won't forget.

[Hoof Hearted]

59. This last one is different in a more serious way however.

I must say though that I support your general statement.

[cooolandrew]

51. I think the society Barack is aiming for is more tolerant and positive so for this alone LGBT ...

...could be better off and safer. I know marriage is a top priority but a more tolerant society has to be a good thing for all Americans. The negativity in his top oppnents campaign is what is a component of violentfeelings, for the sake of more safety and less ill will I would favour Barck. Not to sa HRC is for violence put adding to the divisions of the past is not the best for America.

[Sybbis]

66. McClurkin. 'Nuff said.

[GoldieAZ49]

54. It is tragic, tragic that he was bullied, then killed

all this talk about bully's, hate crimes etc. It all goes back to how we raise our kids.

When kids grow up hearing their parents hate speech against a group of people, be it gays, blacks, latinos, etc. it is no surprise that during a very difficult time, teens, they lash out, not just verbally, but physically, and tragically.

And why do parents do that?

I think it all goes back to feeling insecure, inadequate, inferior, unfulfilled or whatever you want to call it.

By putting someone else down it gives them a false sense of superiority.

To take that to the level of killing should have the added charge of a hate crime.

Even so, it doesn't help the young man that was killed. It doesn't help any of the innocent lives taken by such violence or their families.

It is a sick world.

[NMMNG]

58. Let's just "reach out" to the bigots

That will make it all better. :sarcasm:



As for Lawrence King and Cameron McWilliams, my heart breaks for them. They're nothing but victims of the fucked up system that allows bigotry to reign supreme over Human and Civil rights.

[Hoof Hearted]

61. I wish I had a way to convey the confusion and terror I feel. I fight and stand with you, Bluebear.

I stand for you. I fight with you.

[TheDonkey]

62. It is estimated that every 5 hours a gay teen committs suicide. Chilling

Just heard a speaker quote this today during a screening of the MUST WATCH "For the Bible Tells Me So" documentary. An incredible movie you MUST WATCH.

[dsc]

64. The gay straight alliance at my school is having a memorial today

it is our first public event since we are so new.

[LWolf]

67. This is the first I've heard about either of these events.

I read the news every morning.

As a middle school teacher whose school has seen a rapid increase in bullying over the last 2 years, I'd like these events, and others like them, to be part of the conversation we are having about bullying on campus.

The author is correct about the media. About the candidates, as well.